having private message problems

I'm sorry I don't understand what you're asking.

You can modify your setting clicking User CP on top left.
Click 'edit option' and check your private message setting.
 
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Check your sent messages folder and see if that is full... if you haven't done so already
 
There is an option you can click to force the system to save a copy in the sent folder. If you have this deselected and the person you're PMing hasn't responded, then I imagine it would seem just as you describe.
 
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