The Fuck My Life Thread

[billy scissors]

Im out of chocolate!!!

But I know one of my unopened prezzies is definitely choccies.Dilemma

[DAVIE]

Tonsilitus is the biggest shittest thing in the world....why don't we just have them removed at birth if they are this much of a fucking pain in the royal arse?

[CrystalGeezer]

Im out of chocolate!!!

But I know one of my unopened prezzies is definitely choccies.Dilemma

Christmas is a fucking state of mind, not a day. Open them.

[DAVIE]

Christmas is a fucking state of mind, not a day. Open them.

Someone is bossy today

[billy scissors]

Someone is bossy today

shes always in a fucking state of mind

[CrystalGeezer]

shes always in a fucking state of mind

You're always in a fucking state of mind.

[DAVIE]

*to bar maid* I'll have what she's having...

[Jackie London]

I just HATE my mum's partner (no, she's not gay, I just can't say my mum's boyfriend). He's a complete dickhead! He has managed to destroy christmas for the last 4 years and this year won't be an exception. He's just sulking whenever things aren't the way he wants them to be and he just destroys christmas for everyone. I seriously hate him and wish he would die.

Anyway, one of my swedish nanny friends in London has been stuck in London and hasn't been able to fly home. Now she's on a train to Manchester to catch a flight to Copenhagen. So now I've got to take the train to Copenhagen tonight to pick her up there and bring her home to my mum so she can stay here for the night and then take the bus tomorrow to where she's going.

[billy scissors]

You're always in a fucking state of mind.

I dont get it

[CrystalGeezer]

I dont get it

Nevermind.

[Jackie London]

My mum can sometimes become completely hysterical for no reason. I was just downstairs to get my stuff out of the tumbler dryer and mumbled something about that some of my socks semed to be missing. Then some of that total senseless hysteria emerged:

Mum: But here! Here! Take these! Here you go!
Me: Mum calm down, nobody is...
Mum: But take these! Take them! Or do you allready have a pair of these? Maybe you had? TAKE ANOTHER PAIR! TAKE THEM! I CAN BUY NEW ONES! HERE! HERE!
Me: No worries mum, it's ok....
Mum: But here, here you go. These ones are good. We have to make sure you have even pairs! Do you have even pairs? Do you have even pairs? Do you have even pairs? Is this yours? No maybe it's Peter's. I doesn't matter, take it anyway! Take all!
Me: Oh god!

[CrystalGeezer]

Weird.

[billy scissors]

My mum can sometimes become completely hysterical for no reason. I was just downstairs to get my stuff out of the tumbler dryer and mumbled something about that some of my socks semed to be missing. Then some of that total senseless hysteria emerged:

Mum: But here! Here! Take these! Here you go!
Me: Mum calm down, nobody is...
Mum: But take these! Take them! Or do you allready have a pair of these? Maybe you had? TAKE ANOTHER PAIR! TAKE THEM! I CAN BUY NEW ONES! HERE! HERE!
Me: No worries mum, it's ok....
Mum: But here, here you go. These ones are good. We have to make sure you have even pairs! Do you have even pairs? Do you have even pairs? Do you have even pairs? Is this yours? No maybe it's Peter's. I doesn't matter, take it anyway! Take all!
Me: Oh god!

and what happened nextzzzzzzzzzzzz.............

[Jackie London]

My mum's hysteria can be triggered by anything really. Vegetables. Fire. Shoes. Doors. Dogs. Water. Air. You name it.

[DAVIE]

Do many of us sometimes wish we were in a post-apocalyptic world where nearly the entire population is dead and we can start the world from stratch - Earth (Draft 3)

[billy scissors]

Do many of us sometimes wish we were in a post-apocalyptic world where nearly the entire population is dead and we can start the world from stratch - Earth (Draft 3)

Yes,but certain types of people will have to be eliminated.Emos for example,and Americans

[DAVIE]

Yes,but certain types of people will have to be eliminated.Emos for example,and Americans

Why will Emos be the first on your list?

[Emil]

Yes,but certain types of people will have to be eliminated.Emos for example,and Americans

Where's Dr Strangelove when we need him?

[billy scissors]

Why will Emos be the first on your list?

cos they piss me off

[DAVIE]

cos they piss me off

Why do they?
As it says on wiki...Morrissey had something to do with them!