The Fuck My Life Thread

[billy scissors]

whats so funny?

[CrystalGeezer]

whats so funny?

I'm torn between Taco and Puko. I'm thinking Taco.

[billy scissors]

I like pucko,its got a ring to it

[billy scissors]

In my language billy would be:

- Tako
- Saitei
- Boke
- Furimun
- Herazuguchi
- Ochoshimono
- Dodemo iikekara totto to usero kono rokudenashi

translate please

[billy scissors]

And CG! Billy is not a swedish name, but I do believe the translation would be one of the following, but I can't decide which:

-Pucko
-Tönt
-Nolla
-Smidig som ett kylskåp
-Man som snart kommer få veta vad jag lärde mig förra veckan på min skrev-sparkar-kurs

I cant believe you called me a geek

[billy scissors]

In my language billy would be:

- Tako
- Saitei
- Boke
- Furimun
- Herazuguchi
- Ochoshimono
- Dodemo iikekara totto to usero kono rokudenashi

Can anybody translate this at all? Ive tried and failed.

So far Ive got:

-octopus
-the least
-idiot
?
?
?
? ? ? ? ? ? asshole

[billy scissors]

theres a chill in the air here today in good old England,an annoying little nip that just spoils everything

[Kewpie]

there's a chill in the air here today in good old England, an annoying little nip that just spoils everything

CGeezer, this is called "a whinge".

Hello grumpy

[CrystalGeezer]

The following is TMIville but I don't care because it fucking hurts and I'm not whinging.

So two days ago my sister and I went to an amusement park and it was hot and sweaty and we were walking around all day and the terrain was rather hilly and I was wearing cotton underpants and shorts but after sweating all day in them I assumed I got some sort of teeny rash or something because that night it just sorta hurt down there. SO last night I can;t fucking take it anymore and I get a mirror and look and there's no rash but a ginormous bump on the area where my butt and my inner thigh meet...if I were wearing a bikini it would show so it's not officially downtown but downtown enough that the skin is uber-sensitive. So I get all excited thinking INGROWN HAIR because in a past life I must've been a dermatologist because I love that stuff and the instant relief that comes with popping it - I know, gross, right? Whatever. So I pick at it and NOTHING. THis is in the middle of the night last night so I go back to bed. Early this morning I get up and walk to the bathroom, I can BARELY WALK it hurts so much and try again and NOTHING. So later this morning I get a sewing pin and sanitize it and prick it real quick and it's nothing but a blood blister or a "cherry mole" but it HURTS. SO. MUCH.

Told you it was too much information.

I wanted it to be a gross ingrown hair expelled from my thigh, not a painful boring blood blister. FML

[billy scissors]

Hello grumpy

[Jackie London]

I cant believe you called me a geek

Sweet as chocolate!

[mauve21]

The following is TMIville but I don't care because it fucking hurts and I'm not whinging.

So two days ago my sister and I went to an amusement park and it was hot and sweaty and we were walking around all day and the terrain was rather hilly and I was wearing cotton underpants and shorts but after sweating all day in them I assumed I got some sort of teeny rash or something because that night it just sorta hurt down there. SO last night I can;t fucking take it anymore and I get a mirror and look and there's no rash but a ginormous bump on the area where my butt and my inner thigh meet...if I were wearing a bikini it would show so it's not officially downtown but downtown enough that the skin is uber-sensitive. So I get all excited thinking INGROWN HAIR because in a past life I must've been a dermatologist because I love that stuff and the instant relief that comes with popping it - I know, gross, right? Whatever. So I pick at it and NOTHING. THis is in the middle of the night last night so I go back to bed. Early this morning I get up and walk to the bathroom, I can BARELY WALK it hurts so much and try again and NOTHING. So later this morning I get a sewing pin and sanitize it and prick it real quick and it's nothing but a blood blister or a "cherry mole" but it HURTS. SO. MUCH.

Told you it was too much information.

I wanted it to be a gross ingrown hair expelled from my thigh, not a painful boring blood blister. FML

Goodness me, CG. Are you sure it's not a spider bite or a cyst, rather
than a blood blister. If it's itchy, it's probably a spider bite.
I don't think you were a dermatologist in your past life. I think you
were a philosopher!

[dunya]

Recently a new person moved into the house. She plays guitar well. She plays violin very well. But she can't sing. Horrible wailing, sliding off note, sharp, and the SAME TWO SONGS for hours on end! With the window open.

Even my favourite music I don't play the same song over or even the same album over. Why has her expensive singing teacher told her she has talent?

I banged my window shut and, because it had expanded in the rain, the wood split.

Please, please, please spare me more of this torment.

[Kewpie]

Recently a new person moved into the house. She plays guitar well. She plays violin very well. But she can't sing. Horrible wailing, sliding off note, sharp, and the SAME TWO SONGS for hours on end! With the window open.

Even my favourite music I don't play the same song over or even the same album over. Why has her expensive singing teacher told her she has talent?

I banged my window shut and, because it had expanded in the rain, the wood split.

Please, please, please spare me more of this torment.

You should do the same, sing loudly with horrible wailing.

[CrystalGeezer]

Recently a new person moved into the house. She plays guitar well. She plays violin very well. But she can't sing. Horrible wailing, sliding off note, sharp, and the SAME TWO SONGS for hours on end! With the window open.

Even my favourite music I don't play the same song over or even the same album over. Why has her expensive singing teacher told her she has talent?

I banged my window shut and, because it had expanded in the rain, the wood split.

Please, please, please spare me more of this torment.

I'm kinda dying to know which two songs?

[dunya]

You should do the same, sing loudly with horrible wailing.

I'm not that heartless..

I'm kinda dying to know which two songs?

She wrote 'em herself. I could die happily not knowing what she calls them.

[mauve21]

Solution to wailing woman:- Metal music played very loud.....

Might quieten her down for a while, maybe scare her into submission......

[dunya]

Solution to wailing woman:- Metal music played very loud.....

Might quieten her down for a while, maybe scare her into submission......

She's at it again, but with the window closed this time. Maybe someone had a word. I hold a copy of Muse's live album close to hand, just in case....

[Jackie London]

My ex-boyfriend is getting married today. Not sure exactly when but I think their wedding starts in an hour or so. I hate him. So why the fuck am I sitting here thinking it should have been me?

[CrystalGeezer]

Steve Martin is a dumbass.

Eating Chinese food at the end of HOUSESITTER with GOLDIE HAWN. Morrissey ON GUARDian, epee references in this very sight as he fake jousts in Roxanne, writing copy for a puppet.

You fucking waste my life with your games.

FUCK MY LIFE AND I'M NOT EVEN DRUNK YET. On second thought, don't fuck anything.