The Fuck My Life Thread

[troubleluvsme]

Ok...so this is the second time in the past few days I have gone to open a bottle of wine and when I pushed the corkscrew into the cork it went straight down into the bottle...wtf??

This has to have some obscure meaning...I am going to ponder over it......

You're gonna have to drink it all now.

[therightone]

Operation drink it all is now in progress...is today only Tuesday??

[Seasick]

Ok...so this is the second time in the past few days I have gone to open a bottle of wine and when I pushed the corkscrew into the cork it went straight down into the bottle...wtf??

This has to have some obscure meaning...I am going to ponder over it......

Sounds like you just need to practice some more.

[CrystalGeezer]

Ok...so this is the second time in the past few days I have gone to open a bottle of wine and when I pushed the corkscrew into the cork it went straight down into the bottle...wtf??

This has to have some obscure meaning...I am going to ponder over it......

It means you're probably drinking bad wine. Do you have a stomach ache? If the cork is shrinking, it's because it is drying out which means the bottle isn't sealed properly which means bacteria may be growing in it which can make you very sick. Never drink wine from a bottle you can push a cork into.

[Seasick]

It means you're probably drinking bad wine. Do you have a stomach ache? If the cork is shrinking, it's because it is drying out which means the bottle isn't sealed properly which means bacteria may be growing in it which can make you very sick. Never drink wine from a bottle you can push a cork into.

A bottle of wine don't sit in her house long enough for bacteria to grow. But if she is really concerned I'll volunteer as her test drinker.

[therightone]

A bottle of wine don't sit in her house long enough for bacteria to grow. But if she is really concerned I'll volunteer as her test drinker.

You're a moonshine guy from what I understand....

[Seasick]

Nothing wrong with a little shine to bring you around.

[therightone]

Nothing wrong with a little shine to bring you around.

I got it so you know where you can git it....

[iamnicola]

Do they serve that at Cracker Barrel?

[therightone]

They got it out back...you just gotta know the codeword....

[iamnicola]

They got it out back...you just gotta know the codeword....

oooh Cracker Barrel is a Speakeasy.

[I am a Ghost]

What is Herpes?

[iamnicola]

What is Herpes?

You won't get that at Cracker Barrel in a jar for $4.49.

[I am a Ghost]

You won't get that at Cracker Barrel in a jar for $4.49.

Is it not on spesh offer with a jar of Bone Suckin' Sauce?

[iamnicola]

Is it not on spesh offer with a jar of Bone Suckin' Sauce?

Did you read the label? It says "Contains no herpes".

Fire Dancer Nuts... I don't trust those.

[I am a Ghost]

Did you read the label? It says "Contains no herpes".

Fire Dancer Nuts... I don't trust those.

Riddled with da herpz. I am led to believe...

[iamnicola]

Riddled with da herpz. I am led to believe...

People need to think twice now about eating those Fire Dancer Nuts.

People are going to thank you someday.

[CrystalGeezer]

It doesn't matter where you got it, wine goes bad in stores, in cellers, in swanky restaurants all the time. That's why it's essential the waiter or waitress uncork your bottle at your table, so you can verify the cork is plump and know your wine isn't growing bacteria that by and large, is not easy to taste. Trust me, I've been well trained in the details of wine. My former landlord is a winemaker at Meridian. All those dinners at his house usually ended in technical wine talk.

Okay, I have a good FML.

My mind baby job is basically to see signs and have them retain their innocence, so to speak. So the other day I notice a store opened around the corner from my house which seems to be a pet store/dog boutique. It's called "Doggie Stylez." FML

[iamnicola]

I learned something.

[CrystalGeezer]

I learned something.

About wine? Or that you can't wait to get a frequent buyers card at Doggie Stylez?