S
suzanne
Guest
has anyone here seen the tv show "The Critic"? Where the animated Jon Lovitz reviews these sendups of Hollywood movies like King Arthur battles the ninjas?
I can't believe I've seen the @#!!!ing real life version of one of those movies. I don't remember the last time I've winced in embarassment as I did watching Moulin Rouge.
Now, before you say ANYTHING about "duh! we could have told you it was a steaming pile of dog turds" you must remember that I did NOT choose tonight's fare. For weeks and weeks, I had seen the cardboard marquees or snippets in newspapers and saying to myself, "dear god, this is something I have the good sense to avoid"
Yeah, non-social life Suzanne who sits in theaters alone says that. But let's ask bored, lonely, and timid Suzanne what she would like to do.
"sure...um, OK."
So, i then subjected myself to it. And since I hadn't really thought much about the movie, I really had no way of building up pre-conceived notions, but all the same, I was still thinking, "this is not what I expected."
I think I was stuck in musicals circa 1982 when Little Orphan Annie was out. Real life. Big mansions. Good songs, and enough of a plot line to take you to the next song. Instead, this is musical 2001: based heavily on the tourist trap that is Las Vegas/Broadway: make a production with a lame excuse to use flashy costume and things exploding and watch as people wearing backpacks shell out large bucks to see it.
The photography was disturbing, and not in a good way. The first 30 minutes play off like a music video. I can't tell you how painful it is to watch when something is being chopped together even quicker than a Jerry Bruckheimer movie. The whole aura of the supposed "moulin rouge" is supposed to be one of sexuality, but instead, you get these incredibly disturbing closeups of some very unattractive dancers (I swear to God for one of them, it looks like the put Mini-Me in a Can-Can outfit) that it looked more like a carnival of horrors.
OK, and this is the part where I'm reminded of The Critic the most: the music. They chopped in "Like a Virgin" and "Smells like Teen Spirit" and countless others in the idiotic music montages that ran through the entire film. At one point, yes it was funny, but the rest of the time, I was cringing at how bad it was, this storyline of Shakespeare in Love meets Pretty Woman weaving in and around it.
But even still, it's not as bad as Shrek. At least this movie, in the splendid glory of it's retardedness managed to grow on you on some level. Maybe it was Ewan McGregor. He's quite a nice looking boy. Maybe it's the fact that you are acknowledging how bad it is in the same way the film acknowledges how stupid it is....or the movie acknowledging how dumb you are as a member of the audience. I give up. A bad movie I don't want to see again, and something I easily forgot about 10 minutes after leaving (and am only bothering to remember because I'm irked that this is the best idea that the summer has yet to offer and I want movies. Real movies. I thought that if I saw yet another movie with some slightly dopey person of certain ethnic persuasions providing comic relief as they run across a mummy or a bug and their eyes bug out and they scream all girly like just like they did in Song of the South, that I was going to go nuts).
But I do want to see Planet of the Apes despite the fact that it's not the original. But I've got weeks to go.
I can't believe I've seen the @#!!!ing real life version of one of those movies. I don't remember the last time I've winced in embarassment as I did watching Moulin Rouge.
Now, before you say ANYTHING about "duh! we could have told you it was a steaming pile of dog turds" you must remember that I did NOT choose tonight's fare. For weeks and weeks, I had seen the cardboard marquees or snippets in newspapers and saying to myself, "dear god, this is something I have the good sense to avoid"
Yeah, non-social life Suzanne who sits in theaters alone says that. But let's ask bored, lonely, and timid Suzanne what she would like to do.
"sure...um, OK."
So, i then subjected myself to it. And since I hadn't really thought much about the movie, I really had no way of building up pre-conceived notions, but all the same, I was still thinking, "this is not what I expected."
I think I was stuck in musicals circa 1982 when Little Orphan Annie was out. Real life. Big mansions. Good songs, and enough of a plot line to take you to the next song. Instead, this is musical 2001: based heavily on the tourist trap that is Las Vegas/Broadway: make a production with a lame excuse to use flashy costume and things exploding and watch as people wearing backpacks shell out large bucks to see it.
The photography was disturbing, and not in a good way. The first 30 minutes play off like a music video. I can't tell you how painful it is to watch when something is being chopped together even quicker than a Jerry Bruckheimer movie. The whole aura of the supposed "moulin rouge" is supposed to be one of sexuality, but instead, you get these incredibly disturbing closeups of some very unattractive dancers (I swear to God for one of them, it looks like the put Mini-Me in a Can-Can outfit) that it looked more like a carnival of horrors.
OK, and this is the part where I'm reminded of The Critic the most: the music. They chopped in "Like a Virgin" and "Smells like Teen Spirit" and countless others in the idiotic music montages that ran through the entire film. At one point, yes it was funny, but the rest of the time, I was cringing at how bad it was, this storyline of Shakespeare in Love meets Pretty Woman weaving in and around it.
But even still, it's not as bad as Shrek. At least this movie, in the splendid glory of it's retardedness managed to grow on you on some level. Maybe it was Ewan McGregor. He's quite a nice looking boy. Maybe it's the fact that you are acknowledging how bad it is in the same way the film acknowledges how stupid it is....or the movie acknowledging how dumb you are as a member of the audience. I give up. A bad movie I don't want to see again, and something I easily forgot about 10 minutes after leaving (and am only bothering to remember because I'm irked that this is the best idea that the summer has yet to offer and I want movies. Real movies. I thought that if I saw yet another movie with some slightly dopey person of certain ethnic persuasions providing comic relief as they run across a mummy or a bug and their eyes bug out and they scream all girly like just like they did in Song of the South, that I was going to go nuts).
But I do want to see Planet of the Apes despite the fact that it's not the original. But I've got weeks to go.