5 roles that Morrissey should take to become "breakout actor of the year"

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Greasetea Season3

Guest
My necrolepsy..uh..nepotismistic...no..oh yeah narcoleptic attack didn't come so...I spent the evening reading this horrible stack of magazines that my family for some reason won't throw out. Evidence, an Entertainment Weekly touting "3rd Rock from the Sun" is the new series of the year! What the hoolie hoo? (Oh the writers have also placed me back home with my parents as a new foil for Greasetea..pretty cool eh?)

Anyhow, after all that reading I believe Moz should take these roles in the following movies to attain that elusive "Breakout Actor."

1. Matrix3
Imagine the Irony! Morrissey plays Agent Duvall, the virus scanner that hunts down Neo and his gang!!! With lines like, "Download this Neo", Moz can make a formidable action star while he preens for the camera.

2. Bistrafe Mich
This German import has more two-stepping than teutonic. Morrissey plays an English Dance Instructor trying to save a small little German villiage from it's own stuffy narrow-minded thinking. I's like Footloose with Das Boot mixed in. Can you imagine Moz spewing out lines like, "I love weiner shnitzel!" as he leads a lady onto the dancefloor to "moonwalk."

3. Batman Triumphant
Joel "Nipples" Shumacher would cast Morrissey perfectly as The Mad Hatter. Morrissey in a big foppish hat, holding poison christanthiums reaching out for Batman as he screams, "Your Boy Wonder is no MATCH for me..ha ha ha" as he lights Robin up in flames, worthy of Joan of Arc-like mythos!!!!!!

4. Romeo and Juliet
While this Coleridge's classic has been written so many times and filmed more than my whore cousin fuc.king anonymous men, Morrissey would be perfectly cast as Rosencrantz and Boz could be Guildenstern. This will be a classic as Morrissey spits out lines like, "Forsooth thine hand young Jedi, you are no match for Othello!"
Sweet baby Jesus!

5. Tarantino film
Imagine Morrissey as a tough talking English Assasin paired up with coldhearted, cool headed, smooth talking Micheal Madsen. It will be a buddy film but with blood and bullets. The dialogue would be so good, you can wet your pants in vaginal moistness:
Micheal Madsen: "So you like fu.cking drink tea right? What's with tea, it's fu.cking dry leaves in boiled water. You might as well put bark in a glass of water and call it extra strength tea."

Morrissey: "My dear young man, you yanks drink coffee and from the size of American penis' I see why."

MM: "You making fun of us American's? Yank this (pulls out gun)"

Moz: "(pulls out gun) What a predicament yes? By the way ever notice how Froot Loops taste like Apple Crisps? What's an Apple Crisp?"

oh how sweet!!!!!!!

Greasetea 3rd Season rules!
 
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