Here is some info about the above which will go some way to saving some of you the cost of a phone call, the bother of writing an email, or to avoid any silly bother on Friday night;
There are no advance tickets on sale.
It costs £4 at the door to get in and £5 after midnight (there are no concessions).
The night runs from 9pm-2.30am, but the doors close (and there is no admittance) after 12.30am.
It is quite normal for a queue of 50 or more to form before we actually open, so you are advised to turn up as early as possible.
Once the building is full then we will operate a one-in-one-out policy until the doors close at 12.30am.
Queue time is an hour (usually more).
Finally, for those who wish to avoid tired old cliches, please avoid saying the following at the door if you arrive to a queue;
"Oh come on, please let me in.
Oh come on, I/We're only little
Oh come on, there's only (1,2,3,4...) of us
Oh come on, we're no trouble
I'm Morrissey's biggest fan
I'm The Smiths biggest fan
I'm this nights biggest fan
I've been coming here for years
I promote this night
I know the DJ
I once asked the DJ to DJ at my wedding (in Vegas)
I know the DJs parents
Oh come on, there's people in there who weren't even born when The Smiths fist album came out and I've seen them 3 times
But my friends are in there
But my friends are in there and they just sent me a message saying it's empty
But it's my birthday
But it's my friends birthday
But I/We've travelled all the way from (anywhere outside Manchester)
People actually queue for this? How long do you think I'll have to queue?
You won't let me in because I'm gay
If I was gay you'd let me in
I don't care about a tribute band anyway
I can't believe you're turning down money over the bar
Your pub is shit anyway, I'll just go somewhere else that plays The Smiths
I'm not paying to get in a pub anyway
Let me in and I'll be your best friend
Do you know who I am?
Do you know where I work?
Do you think I won't speak to some people at the council and get you closed down?
The DJ is playing too much Morrissey
The DJ is playing too much Smiths
Go and throw someone out and let me in
There's load of drunk people in there - go and ask them to leave
I am not drunk"
See you Friday, bright and early