Disagree completely! "I Keep Mine Hidden" is an excellent song. I had it as a B-side on vinyl in 1987 and played it to death. Not one of Johnny's best arrangements, no, but I think Morrissey's lyrics are a scream. I was nodding my head vigorously when Morrissey gave a radio interview a few years later and said it was his favorite Smiths track. He was lying, but I liked the attention it gave the song.
Shifty, you can find "I Keep Mine Hidden" on the "Sweet And Tender Hooligan" CD single, which is still easy to find, I think. Don't get your hopes up; it's not the kind of lost gem that blows your mind and sends you into the stratosphere. It's just an amusing trifle and one worth listening to as it's the last-ever recorded Smiths track.