2006: ringleader album + tour
2007: another fantastic album + tour
2008: a swansong album with "the lads" and final tour
2010: heavier, weirder radiohead-meets-roxy music prog rock album with many musicians and nigel goodrich producing
2012: records and album with the new york dolls and angelic upstarts
2014: an album of nico-like songs with brian eno
2016: the "reunion" happens with marr and morrissey and marr write an album of gentle ballads and vicious rock songs with DJ shadow
2018: they fal out over marr's refusal to get a haircut, and his insistence that Liam Gallagher is a better live performer than Cilla Black is cited as the "straw that broke the guitarist's back." Morrissey is jailed for 3 years for GBH. Marr spends the rest of his life in a home for elderly humans.
2020: Morrissey escapes from prison with the help of Barbara Windsor and the only living Kray grandson. He puts out a "jail diary" from a secret location somewhere in central America.
2022: morrissey writes an album in Spanish with mexico's most famous rockabilly unit and publishes it on the internet
2024: crime is legalised by new labour's david milliband and Morrissey returns to the UK, to be welcomed as a returning hero.
2025: Morrissey writes a crime-themed album with notorious rock "crims" Pete Towneshend, Paul McCartney and Alanis Morrissette (whose records are bordering on the criminal)
2027: Morrissey creates a rap/spoken word/opera album with a gang of racist Asian musicians and adopts the persona of a mildly annoyed northern kebab shop owner with a quiff.
2034: after a 7 year hiatus spent in Stretford, Morrissey releases an album of beautifully written and sung but badly produced songs with Boz, Alain and Gary. He can't find a drummer willing tow ork for £3 an hour in the UK, so they hire a Jamaican steel band. It's slated and morrissey sulks that "the press are out to get me - nothing is what it seems."
2036: Morrissey releases his last ever album, producer by an Italian farmer in Sicilly, featuring Jesse Tobias, who comes out of retirement in Ibiza to work with morrissey for the final time. It's a classic and deals his status as a legend of all time.
2038: Morrissey's autobiography is finally published, and Mike Joyce mysteriously vanishes the night before its official release. Morrissey then announces "I vant to be alone" and disappears, forever.
2040: The "Lost chapter" of his autobiography detailing the murder of Joyce is found in morrissey's basement safe and published, to widespread public outrage.
2040: joyce's body is found buried under Morrissey's mexico mansion, to widespread public shock
2041: Elvis Presley is genetically engineered and Morrissey is spotted in the crowd during a show in Liverpool wearing an old mack and a fake moustache at the front of the moshpit, resulting in his arrest on murder charges. The police reveal they knew it was him because of the quiff and "I love elvis" tattoo on his exposed right buttock.
2042: Morrissey sentenced to life in jail
2045: Morrissey publishes "the ballad of strangeways toll" - a witty commentary on the high tax, big government political culture, and the meaninglessness of life generally.
2048: Morrissey found dead in his cell, surrounded by flowers, a leather riding crop, and 2 gallons of lemon juice.