> hello Suzanne!
> well, I am really late at night. My daughter now uses to sleep
> during the day to be with me during the night... but it doesn't
> matter really. It's 4:08am and it's really a pelasure to talk
> with you.
aww. she misses you.
> I am hearing Schubert now and these are the first moments in
> peace I have this day. :-)
> well, as a footnote, I have to say I installed my Linux! Well, I
> don't know yet how to work with it because it seems really
> difficult, but I now I'm having a good internet assistance and I
> hope to access in internet from it... one day...:-)
i guess i should join the anti-gates wagon and get one, but my computer is actually running these days.
> this is a strange and perhaps important side of me Suzanne,
> because even people who worked with me didn't knew I was so
> crazy about Morrissey when he came to my city. Then I had the
> opportunity to write about him in the local newspaper and
> everybody was surprised by my knowledge of Morrissey. Even my
> mother didn't know I was such a fan.
yes, people aren't very sympathetic to fanatics in general.
if I ever started a fanzine, I think one about Morrissey would be the hardest for me to do. if you aren't very attached to something, its much easier dealing with it on a more superficial level rather than having to daily confront and write your deepest thoughts.
> And I don't think it's wrong to be such a Morrissey fan. I
> simply don't like to share important things with those are not
> my real friends. And I don't have too many real fans, as you see
> in Now my heart is full :-)
my list grows and shrinks on demand.
ugh. do you know when i had all the false alarms about colds? i think this one might be real....that or allergies.
but i guess i would be run down. besides all my daily craptacular events, yesterday, i cooked until the wee hours muffins and chocolate covered strawberries for the christmas party at work.
i don't know what the hell is wrong with me. all i know is my trip to La France switched on my cooking gene.
> I don't know how but I use to have these migraines in weekends.
> It seems my tension I repressed during the week comes to my head
> and causes pain in it. I don't know why but I have it.
change in sleep patterns?
i know someone who claimed that when they left their first husband, their migraines went away.
> And I have teeth pain today. I hope I'll be better tomorrow.
my jaw is really sore. i know it has something to do with my braces, but i don't know if its because my teeth are hitting strange, or the very back molar that it is uprighting is putting pressure on something.
> I understand you as I had the same problem today. My father
> invited me to dinner, and my daughter was expecting me... I
> think this period of the year is a little bit crazy, isn't it?
yes. i had the party at work today. i have a party tomorrow at a friend's, I haven't done a bit of christmas shopping.
but it's no fair. many of these people are still in school, and since it's the break, they can get all their stuff done and party at night.
> And if I sum my classes... :-)
> was the film good at least?
> sometimes I make plans to do things I do at night in the
> mornings. But I seldom put this in practice... :-)
you can't schedule things like nervous breakdowns. that always takes up lots of time. so does the need for sleep. throws your day off when you don't have to get up from your alarm.
> I understand but you don't need to put your computer away from
yeah, you're right. I haven't looked at it much for the past several days.
> what bootcamp means?
army training camp
> well, I think I do have discipline but this discipline is
> driving me crazy...
> it seems the cold is strong in USA, isn't it?
yes, i suppose.
> at least today the weather was much better. I like these hot
> nothing to do with but I am remembering how expensive was the
> gift I bought to my daughter.
@#!!!. kids are so easy to spoil. especially when there is only one.
i have no clue what i would do in that situation. not like i would ever have kids to ever prove either way what was right
> well, perhaps the thought of the gift came because it was very
> hot at the supermarket where I bought her electric motocycle...
that;'s cool. I wish my parents would have given me something like that.
> yes, I know it and this makes things still more dangerous to me
> well, I had a good supper with my father today and I'm not
> feeling guilty. Perhaps I needed at least one day to eat more
> than I use to and with no guilty.
> Well, perhaps I really have to make more exercises than just
> walking to the bus stations.
take the long way to the bus stations? it adds a couple of minutes at a time
> I saw it... I was just a little bit jealous... :-)
> but please talk me about him - you wrote such marvelous words.
he's like all good muses. he peaks something within you, but you hardly ever see him. then, you take this person and lament on them in many different ways, filling in holes with what you would like them to do.
> In that time I thought exactly this: that I wouldn't be proud of
> myself if I did it.
> as I have seen, you and your friend like the same guy?
no. not exactly.
she's majorly in love with one guy, but he doesn't love her back so she is perpetually keeping her options open. Also, from what I understand, she kept the two of us from hooking up because she was jealous that he didn't think of her that way.
i sort of wish she had kept it that way. several months of being around him still doesn't do as much as several minutes around my muses.
> and your friend...?
she has her own guy.
it was silly. she was doing an approach of "i'll ignore him and he'll come to me" the entire time in another room, while I was standing there talking to him.
> how she goes out of her way?
> and I think you are correct. Escaping is not always the best
> solution. Our problems usually come with us.
> well, if you are sure he is a good guy he probably doesn't have
> interest in being bad with her. Perhaps he really loves her...
> and some loves are different from the physic usual love.
I don't think so.
From what I see, he's not very inept at dating, and really hasn't dated anyone in quite a long time. Maybe as long as me. But he claims he does it to focus on his school work. I don't blame him. Relationships eat up loads of time and usually don't lead anywhere.
> But not necessarily less intense.
> but didn't you even try to?
> it means you thought a lot about the subject?
i think about it quite a bit. despite my busy schedule, there is always plenty of time to crawl in bed alone at night and think about these things.
> probably but this story makes me a little bit confused
> you wrote such a beautiful thing Suzanne. It seems I can see
> this guy and perceives how marvelously good he is.
> And all the things you stated... everything...
> You wrote such a beautiful thing. I don't know what more I have
> to say.
> The guy who inspired these words must be really proud of it, and
> he has to have such a responsability to deserve it.
you'd think, wouldn't you?