R
Reg Plate
Guest
As a journalist people are always saying to me “Reg, why are you an alcoholic?” and I reply “because I’m a vegetarian, offer me a veal wine and I’d almost certainly refuse!”
But dear readers, I feel I can confide in you, its really because I am in an unhappy marriage, well when I say marriage what I really mean to say is my work is my wife, and I’m not proud to admit this, but I’ve been cheating on her with my mistress, of course when I say mistress I don’t mean another job, Hell I don’t even mean a female human, For my dear friends my mistress is a dumpster.
a dumpster to a journalist is a treasure trove, a discarded credit card statement, a love letter tossed away on a whim, discarded prescription drugs, a dumpster yields so much to a hungry journalist.
Anyway currently it is Morrissey’s dumpster I am living in and thought I would pass on this snippet of news about the Isle of Wight cancellation and 5 upcoming gigs
Morrissey has promised to bend the rules of time and physics and agreed to play all 5 Live8 gigs in July simultaneously and showcase new material from his next album !!!!
Moz said “I am going to have myself disassembled at a molecular level and reassembled on the stage at each of the 5 gigs , it’s the least I can do by way of an apology for cancelling the Isle of Wight”, “whilst I’m at it I am going to travel forward in time and pick up a copy of my next albulm from a store and listen to it for a bit and then play a few tracks live,”
Morrissey’s manager pointed out some severe flaws in both the logic and the limitations of current technology, but Morrissey quickly retorted that he had a “crack team working on it right now” - including the Nasa scientists who hoaxed the moon landings, James Doohan (Scotty in the original Star Trek) and Professor Screaming Jay Hawkins whose dissertation on Blue Holes was years ahead of its time.
“Look” said Morrissey to his manager “I’ve agreed so nothing will stop me from honouring that appearance!!!!” he was adamant and defiant!, he was about to say something else when the phone rang, Morrissey manager answered and I heard him say “its for you Moz, it’s the organizers of the Isle of Wight, they want to speak to you”, “Tell them I’m in bed with the flu” Morrissey shouted as he ran out the door.
More tour dates as I get them!
Reg
But dear readers, I feel I can confide in you, its really because I am in an unhappy marriage, well when I say marriage what I really mean to say is my work is my wife, and I’m not proud to admit this, but I’ve been cheating on her with my mistress, of course when I say mistress I don’t mean another job, Hell I don’t even mean a female human, For my dear friends my mistress is a dumpster.
a dumpster to a journalist is a treasure trove, a discarded credit card statement, a love letter tossed away on a whim, discarded prescription drugs, a dumpster yields so much to a hungry journalist.
Anyway currently it is Morrissey’s dumpster I am living in and thought I would pass on this snippet of news about the Isle of Wight cancellation and 5 upcoming gigs
Morrissey has promised to bend the rules of time and physics and agreed to play all 5 Live8 gigs in July simultaneously and showcase new material from his next album !!!!
Moz said “I am going to have myself disassembled at a molecular level and reassembled on the stage at each of the 5 gigs , it’s the least I can do by way of an apology for cancelling the Isle of Wight”, “whilst I’m at it I am going to travel forward in time and pick up a copy of my next albulm from a store and listen to it for a bit and then play a few tracks live,”
Morrissey’s manager pointed out some severe flaws in both the logic and the limitations of current technology, but Morrissey quickly retorted that he had a “crack team working on it right now” - including the Nasa scientists who hoaxed the moon landings, James Doohan (Scotty in the original Star Trek) and Professor Screaming Jay Hawkins whose dissertation on Blue Holes was years ahead of its time.
“Look” said Morrissey to his manager “I’ve agreed so nothing will stop me from honouring that appearance!!!!” he was adamant and defiant!, he was about to say something else when the phone rang, Morrissey manager answered and I heard him say “its for you Moz, it’s the organizers of the Isle of Wight, they want to speak to you”, “Tell them I’m in bed with the flu” Morrissey shouted as he ran out the door.
More tour dates as I get them!
Reg
