O- "The offical fatso Oprah magazine" Issue 3:
Boz gets a second chance with a fox.
by Dolph Monotone Lundgren
If rocker Yahoo Serious got a second chance at showbiz, then Boz Boorer deserves one as well. After his publicly humiliating firing from "Mission Impossible 2", it appears Mr. Boorer will be granted another shot in the world of Hollywood.
FOX network has offered the musician a two year deal to be their official voice over man for their November and May sweeps month specials. His first work will be heard in this May's "When Dangerous Animals Attack 7."
"He has a unique voice and the way he enunciates words is to die for," Hugh Padgedom, director of the FOX specials said. "It was unfortunate he was panned by the press after being booted off the set, but this job is suitable for him because he only speaks, he'll never be on screen."
Although only his voice will be heard, don't tell that to Mr. Boorer.
"Hey it's the reporter from that magazine, tell Oprah I loved her on that show 'Gimme A Break'" Boz greeted with a hug. "She was so good on that show always screaming 'Kiss my grits!'"
"Oh it's great, they give me squeeze-um's, I love those juices in the plastic container you squeeze, hee hee...squeeze'um's and squuueeezee," Boorer exclaimed while fretting with his half filled tumbler of gin. "They are receptive to my ideas too, like when the cop rams this car, I'll jump on camera and do noises like that black guy in Police Academy! And they said I could do the siren noises too!!! Want to see me do the macarena?"
At this point Boorer squatted on his chair and crazily tossed his stools all over the buffered walls of the recording studio while doing a siren wail.
His bandmate Alanis Morrissette could not be reached for comment but we at O magazine are sure that he wishes Boz a O-mazing time and success.
In a related note, Johnny Marr will be participating on FOX's "X-Files" playing an alien that just wants to phone home and eat Reese's pieces all day.