Jewel in the Crown DVD? Yeah, you guessed correct, it's shit.

[freeyourself]

Oh Dear Oh Dear Oh Dear.

Having just watched the 'Jewel in the Crown' DVD, I'm sorry to report that it's a piece of unadulterated garbage from beginning to end.

I doubt very much if left to my own devices I would have purchased such an obvious & shoddy cash-in on Moz's current popularity. However, my dear other-half, by way of a surprise, bought it for me this morning.

I love him dearly, bless his cotton socks, but i do believe his £12.99 would have been put to better use had he bought some magic beans, a (fake) rabbit's foot & a sprig of lucky heather.

As it's completely unauthorised, no original music can be included, which means that the only 'music' we hear is a short burst of unaccompanied guitar played 'in the style of' Johnny Marr (Yeah, Johnny Marr after having his arms severed in a freak lawn mower accident)between each tedious & uneventful chapter.

Probably for the same reason, there is very little actual footage of Moz, apart from a little bit from The J Ross Show.

The manufacturers of the DVD cleverly get round this by repeatedly using the same clever & innovative technique of slowly panning up a photograph while simultaneously zooming in or out.

For the benefit of any Americans reading this, I was being sarcastic &, possibly, ironic too, when I used the words 'clever' & 'innovative' just then.

The only snippet of information I'd not heard 20 times already, was when Tony (A man trapped in a pig's body) Wilson made the bizzare claim that Johnny Marr's wife Angie, in a Yoko Ono-esque bout of interferance, wanted Johnny to leave The Smiths cos she was fed-up of Morrissey. Or something.

Anyway, I'll shut up about it now cos I don't wanna spoil the end for anyone.

[Domestos Salad]

> Oh Dear Oh Dear Oh Dear.

> Having just watched the 'Jewel in the Crown' DVD, I'm sorry to report that
> it's a piece of unadulterated garbage from beginning to end.

> I doubt very much if left to my own devices I would have purchased such an
> obvious & shoddy cash-in on Moz's current popularity. However, my dear
> other-half, by way of a surprise, bought it for me this morning.

> I love him dearly, bless his cotton socks, but i do believe his £12.99
> would have been put to better use had he bought some magic beans, a (fake)
> rabbit's foot & a sprig of lucky heather.

> As it's completely unauthorised, no original music can be included, which
> means that the only 'music' we hear is a short burst of unaccompanied
> guitar played 'in the style of' Johnny Marr (Yeah, Johnny Marr after
> having his arms severed in a freak lawn mower accident)between each
> tedious & uneventful chapter.

> Probably for the same reason, there is very little actual footage of Moz,
> apart from a little bit from The J Ross Show.

> The manufacturers of the DVD cleverly get round this by repeatedly using
> the same clever & innovative technique of slowly panning up a
> photograph while simultaneously zooming in or out.

> For the benefit of any Americans reading this, I was being sarcastic &,
> possibly, ironic too, when I used the words 'clever' & 'innovative'
> just then.

> The only snippet of information I'd not heard 20 times already, was when
> Tony (A man trapped in a pig's body) Wilson made the bizzare claim that
> Johnny Marr's wife Angie, in a Yoko Ono-esque bout of interferance, wanted
> Johnny to leave The Smiths cos she was fed-up of Morrissey. Or something.

> Anyway, I'll shut up about it now cos I don't wanna spoil the end for
> anyone.
Go on,what happens in the end?

[freeyourself]

> Go on,what happens in the end?

They all live happily ever after.

Except for Mike Joyce of course.

[Domestos Salad]

> They all live happily ever after.

> Except for Mike Joyce of course.
I was just thinking,if you dont want your copy any more.........

[freeyourself]

> I was just thinking,if you dont want your copy any more.........

Even though it's very like the film 'Jagged Edge', in as much as you couldn't possibly want to watch it more than once.....it was a present after all.

[seriously flawed-not right in the head]

> Even though it's very like the film 'Jagged Edge', in as much as you
> couldn't possibly want to watch it more than once.....it was a present
> after all.

I've watched "Jagged Edge" at least three times.
Then again, Jeff Bridges is in it.

[Tamsin]

> I've watched "Jagged Edge" at least three times.
> Then again, Jeff Bridges is in it.

So, is it as bad as reading David Bret's book, Scandal & Passion? The worst £10.99 I ever spent, ever. I know it sounds like a philistine thing to do, but after reading but a few pages I couldn't continue and it is now in a box of 'crap' awaiting collection by the bin men, it really was that bad. Constantly banging on about gay, gay, gay, gay. Just boring, tedious, uninteresting non-factual bandwaggonist drivel. Buyer beware!

[freeyourself]

> I've watched "Jagged Edge" at least three times.
> Then again, Jeff Bridges is in it.

HE WAS GUILTY ALL THE TIME!!

There, you don't have to watch it again now.

[seriously flawed-not right in the head]

> So, is it as bad as reading David Bret's book, Scandal & Passion? The
> worst £10.99 I ever spent, ever. I know it sounds like a philistine thing
> to do, but after reading but a few pages I couldn't continue and it is now
> in a box of 'crap' awaiting collection by the bin men, it really was that
> bad. Constantly banging on about gay, gay, gay, gay. Just boring, tedious,
> uninteresting non-factual bandwaggonist drivel. Buyer beware!

Yeah I'm reading that at the moment.
I think you take anything with a pinch of salt basically.
I only paid £4.99 though in HMV, so not too bad, even if I do find it to be shit.

[seriously flawed-not right in the head]

> HE WAS GUILTY ALL THE TIME!!

> There, you don't have to watch it again now.

Yeah we know that.
Does it matter though?
At least it wasn't his ugly brother.

[freeyourself]

> So, is it as bad as reading David Bret's book, Scandal & Passion? The
> worst £10.99 I ever spent, ever. I know it sounds like a philistine thing
> to do, but after reading but a few pages I couldn't continue and it is now
> in a box of 'crap' awaiting collection by the bin men, it really was that
> bad. Constantly banging on about gay, gay, gay, gay. Just boring, tedious,
> uninteresting non-factual bandwaggonist drivel. Buyer beware!

Nothing's that bad.

Having read 'Landscapes of the Mind', I really should have known better. My copy cost £4.99 from HMV, but I'd still rather have swallowed the money than bought that piece of repetitive error strewn drivel.

I think I should prepare you, in case you're thinking of buying 'Jewel in the Crown' anyway.....It features an interview with David Bret, who has a face only his mother could stomach, although I suspect she strongly regrets taking those untested drugs while she was carrying him.

[freeyourself]

> Yeah we know that.
> Does it matter though?
> At least it wasn't his ugly brother.

How many times have you seen 'Titanic'?

My poor Mother is still devastated every time they hit that Iceberg, & she's seen it twice.

[The Ghost of troubled Mr. Smith (in cognito)]

> How many times have you seen 'Titanic'?

> My poor Mother is still devastated every time they hit that Iceberg, &
> she's seen it twice.

Aw did you see the bit where the woman is frozen in the water with the baby? Shock factor through the roof!
p.s, why are leonardo di caprio's features all crushed together into the centre of his face?

[freeyourself]

> Aw did you see the bit where the woman is frozen in the water with the
> baby? Shock factor through the roof!
> p.s, why are leonardo di caprio's features all crushed together into the
> centre of his face?

What about the bit where the prototype for Cliff Richard was found buried deep within the Iceberg & was identical to the perfectly preserved version that walks the Earth today. Except it had 5 arses.

Poor Leonardo. Although, he doesn't look bad for a 92 year old, but he really should have stopped after the 17th face lift.

[The Ghost of troubled Mr. Smith (in cognito)]

[seriously flawed-not right in the head]

> How many times have you seen 'Titanic'?

> My poor Mother is still devastated every time they hit that Iceberg, &
> she's seen it twice.

Sorry, couldn't stomach that one freeyourself.
I don't think you can draw comparisons with "Jagged Edge" and "Titanic" - that was just so...well you know so so so.

[The Ghost of troubled Mr. Smith (in cognito)]

Because if you take it metaphorically you may think I am discussing Leo's (as I like to call him in my film critic group) acting skills, and as much as I don't know you people I wouldn't want you to think that although I am sitting at a computer posting and have been for the last two hours, I have that little time. I was merely making the observation that his features are getting sucked into the centre of his face so much as he gets older it reminds me of a sink emptying and I imagine if the crushing of his continues he will be left with an expensive hairdo and a hole on a neck. (I think someone spiked my non-jam pop-tart)

[seriously flawed-not right in the head]

Nice to see you are able to communicate again Mr Smith.
How's life (oh sorry) death been treating you lately?

[The Ghost of troubled Mr. Smith (in cognito)]

> Nice to see you are able to communicate again Mr Smith.
> How's life (oh sorry) death been treating you lately?

Ah its alright, I'm settlin in..the signal up here is very bad though, takes me texts about 2 hours to deliver.

[seriously flawed-not right in the head]

> Ah its alright, I'm settlin in..the signal up here is very bad though,
> takes me texts about 2 hours to deliver.

Re: "How Soon Is Now"...When exactly do you mean?
I am still awaiting the tutorial papers.
I may have to forsake the lute altogther if they're not delivered soon and go for something more modern, like the mandolin.
Bang go the pop-tarts then.