David T. in fight with the MorrisseyTour.com Girls! (and Boz makes a cameo)

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greasetea the seventh hell

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Reuters News Service 3-21-00
Filed by epx

As if David Tseng, master of the battledome morrissey-solo.com, was not busy enough, he now is part of a fight with the verocity that rivals the cola wars of the early 90's. In an argument that transpired behind the scenes almost a year ago, Tseng was publicly attacked by Dipsy Moon and Bubbles Venus-administrators of the rival site Morrissey Tour.com.

Apparently the melee stemmed from Moon and Venus sending harrassing e-mails to Tseng to shut the site down or Tuxedo Red Masque will destroy his server. Tseng scoffed and dismissed the electronic mail as just tom foolery. However, things escalated when the message board on Tseng's site was flooded with "Morrissey is gay" and "Vote me for the coolest" posts.

Tseng responded in mecurial fashion by deleting the posts then asking for help for administrating the board. Yet, with the thousand plus replies, Tseng decided that no one was up for the task.

"The last thing I need are some drama-queens regulating the board or people who think they are God's gift to mankind," Tseng said while eating vienna sausages with fish sauce from a tin can.

Things took an ugly turn yesterday when Moon and Venus appeared with half-crescent moons scrawled on their foreheads with a cat they claimed could speak, and smacked Tseng in the head repeatedly with pink wands they purchased from a nearby Spencer's gift store. Witnesses spotted the girls, donning bright colory hair, shouting things like "Watch out!!! Shooting Starrrrrrr!" or "Thats my line Moon-waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

The fisticuffs diffused when the girls were struck by a van driven by Boz Boorer, guitarist for Morrissey, with the Rhino Records label on the side.

"Look what I got for signing us up with Rhino! Whooooooo-eeeeeeee! They gave me a van, the chicks will dig us!!!" Boz screamed as he was giving everybody a thumbs up sign hen showing his Rhino T-shirt he recieved as a signing bonus. "Mozzerissey is gonna be thrilled when I tell him we signed wif' Rhino!"

Boz then jumped out and performed the macarena with the lifeless bodies of Moon and Venus.

"Oh no, I ran over the singer and drummer of Hanson!" Boz cried as he looked at the two corpses of the girls all bent out.

Tseng was treated for glitter infections while Boz was arrested for defecating while doing the elctric slide on a sidewalk.

Morrissey had no comment except to say he is looking forward to licensing his catalog for Rhino to release a Polka version of his works.

On a side note, Johnny Marr was spotted pointing to the sky like a maniac with nothing on but a sheet with two holes for eyes wrapped around him.
 
Re: my mealy mouth shut

What? I ripped you off? I am not aware of this Picklebreath or your character as a journalist, but to tell you the truth, originality is not my goal swinkle.

Celeryneck , the only thing I am aware of is that I am only interested in telling the truth like Matt Drudge.

...in other words YOU ARE WRONG.

keep believing in the magic bullet theory krispy kreme, it's behind the grassy knoll.
 
...this just in...

> But was David T. all right at the end??

Popular webmaster David Tseng is recuperating in an undisclosed nursing facility after an altercation with rival webmistresses. Late reports indicate Mr. Tsengs website has fallen into the hands of the evil and tyranical Greasetea. Caos reigns as regular visitors to the site are being deleted and impersonated. Only the intervention of Morrissey himself could stop these savage attacks. When asked about his plans to save the site Morrissey took a sip of caffeine-free tangerine-pineapple tea and muttered "No comment".
 
Re: ...this just in...

That really sucked. You just don't have the talent darling.
 
WHEN IN TEAVILLE....DO AS THE GREASERS

> That really sucked. You just don't have the talent darling.

YEAH! YOU FORGOT TO HAVE SOMEONE DEFICATE! ALSO MAKE UP SOME MEANINGLESS WORDS AND INSULT EVERYBODY WHENEVER POSSIBLE!--YOU TOINKY-TUNK FWACK-OFF!
 
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