Greasetea (Liv from Moz Angeles)
Guest
Boz Boorer banned on all TWA planes (and why they will not sign with Maverick)
Reuters World News service 3-18-2000
Boz Boorer, guitarist for Morrissey and vocalist for Aqua, was arrested in Kyoto Japan after the plane landed in Goshi Airport. He was charged with public nuisance, public display of drunkeness, battery and moonwalking in public (which is a crime in Japan because it is considered blasphemy to make fun of Micheal Jackson there).
The incident stemmed from the eight Bombay Sapphire Gin martinis Boz Boorer consumed on the plane while sitting in coach. Morrissey ,and the rest of the band, sitting far away in first class decided to walk back there and hand Boz some notes on the new album.
Boorer, allegedly, jumped from his seat and started singing Sinead O' Connor's "The Emperor's New Clothes" and walking like an Egyptian. The flight attendants tried to settle the guitarist down with bags of pretzels. Boorer responded by doing the macarena but tripped on the cart when he placed his left arm drunkenly on his left hip
Boz then signed his name on a fan, but pressed the pen too hard.
"She wanted me to sign her boobies...hee hee hee" Boz sang while the fan in pain laid there with a pen jammed in her forehead. The signature read "Gary Da.." but the blood obscured the rest of it. She is currently in a coma at Kotoki Hospital.
Morrissey scowled at Boz Boorer's antics and promptly disciplined him with a loud sigh and a weird snake like hissy sound. Boorer then ran around the plane doing the robot dance with a string of floss hanging between his teeth with pretzels tied to each of the ends.
The final misadventure was when Boorer opened the emergency exit, while the plane was 45,000 feet in the sky to "see if (his) pee shoots away fast" and then he climbed on the wing making "boogie boogie" sounds shouting "I am the monster from that Twilight Zone episode..booogie boogie boo."
When the plane made an emergency landing, Boz was shot with hyperdermic needles filled with sleeping agents usually reserved for escaped wildlife or crazy fat people at buffets.
"Shonen Knife! You broke up the Beatles! I hate Shonen Knife!" Boz screamed as he ran around the landng strip with his arms flailing. "We would never sign with Maverick because Madonna-we hated 'Girls Just Want to Have Fun' and 'Electric Youth' "
A fisticuffs engaged between Boz and the authorities while the drunken entertainer was making "kung fu" noises. Boz was then booted in the nuts by airline security.
"I am Boz, I am Boz!" he shouted while being escorted by twenty of Kyoto's finest.
Morrissey had no comment except to say the food in Japan was suspicious and evil smelling before returning to buy some Pikachu paraphanalia. Boz Boorer is scheduled to meet in court this October.
Strangely enough Johnny Marr was there squatting on a rock saying "Use the Force" to anyone who would listen.
