www.morrisseysnore.com--please help us!

[wet paper towel]

Greetings to you, fellow Mozzites!

As you recall, we worked very hard on this last tour to bring you the most up-to-date information of Oye Esteban 1999. Yes, we may have turned up late to half of the gigs, but that wasn't our fault! We were putting lots of body makeup on just to cover up our chest rashes when we flashed Sack. It is all about looking good for our idols. We thought maybe Sack would have told Morrissey what nice chests we had and possibly talk to us, but hey, maybe this year.

Yes, the year 2000. You know what that means....another Morrissey tour! We're going to give Morrissey an award for it. We hereby decree Morrissey the best artist who played on February 1 in Spokane and left town for Portland the next day. Congratulations, Morrissey!

In the past, the website has been all about us. Our adventures of not being able to feed ourselves, the missed ferries, our canker sores, and our hygiene habits while on the Morrissey tour. Now, it is your chance to be about you. Yes, send us money, and you will be doing your part to help us. Send us to South America. If someone sends us $200 in the next day, we will personally guarantee that one of our Westsham Girls will be exposed to Malaria. We will trap every available mosquito in the area and lock them in the bathroom with one of our girls until she is sufficiently bitten. Thrill to our exciting adventures as we take her to every hospital in the area and snootily turn our noses up at their substandard 2nd world medicine.

If you pledge $25, you will receive an award for "Best Person who gave us $25"

Act now, and when your rent is due at the end of the month, enough time will have passed that you will have forgotten why you are short on cash this month. Feel that twinge of happiness in your heart when you realize you have sent money to several able bodied adults who are out enjoying themselves and trying to have group sex with the roadies while you stay at home and stare listlessly at a rerun of Shasta McNasty.

Please. Do it for us. Do it for our own personal happiness.

 

[Popper]

Your paper towel is wet with pee. Pissssssssszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

 

[greasey]

Very well put.

 

[alexandrea]

ohhhh...someone is jealous.
and for it being a "snore" you certainly have enough of this site memorized.

 

[gil hicks]

Re: www.morrisseysnore.com--please help us! Wet Paper Towel!!!!

Very well said and the funniest post since Greasetea eneters the site.
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They have some nerve to be asking for free money with their self indulgent charity drive. Once they started with askin' for money, I lost all respect for those gals

gH

> Greetings to you, fellow Mozzites!

> As you recall, we worked very hard on this last tour to bring
> you the most up-to-date information of Oye Esteban 1999. Yes, we
> may have turned up late to half of the gigs, but that wasn't our
> fault! We were putting lots of body makeup on just to cover up
> our chest rashes when we flashed Sack. It is all about looking
> good for our idols. We thought maybe Sack would have told
> Morrissey what nice chests we had and possibly talk to us, but
> hey, maybe this year.

> Yes, the year 2000. You know what that means....another
> Morrissey tour! We're going to give Morrissey an award for it.
> We hereby decree Morrissey the best artist who played on
> February 1 in Spokane and left town for Portland the next day.
> Congratulations, Morrissey!

> In the past, the website has been all about us. Our adventures
> of not being able to feed ourselves, the missed ferries, our
> canker sores, and our hygiene habits while on the Morrissey
> tour. Now, it is your chance to be about you. Yes, send us
> money, and you will be doing your part to help us. Send us to
> South America. If someone sends us $200 in the next day, we will
> personally guarantee that one of our Westsham Girls will be
> exposed to Malaria. We will trap every available mosquito in the
> area and lock them in the bathroom with one of our girls until
> she is sufficiently bitten. Thrill to our exciting adventures as
> we take her to every hospital in the area and snootily turn our
> noses up at their substandard 2nd world medicine.

> If you pledge $25, you will receive an award for "Best
> Person who gave us $25"

> Act now, and when your rent is due at the end of the month,
> enough time will have passed that you will have forgotten why
> you are short on cash this month. Feel that twinge of happiness
> in your heart when you realize you have sent money to several
> able bodied adults who are out enjoying themselves and trying to
> have group sex with the roadies while you stay at home and stare
> listlessly at a rerun of Shasta McNasty.

> Please. Do it for us. Do it for our own personal happiness.

 

[Maladjustedly Keen]

Re: How can I contribute???

If you pledge $25, you will receive an award for "Best
> Person who gave us $25"

> Act now, and when your rent is due at the end of the month,
> enough time will have passed that you will have forgotten why
> you are short on cash this month. Feel that twinge of happiness
> in your heart when you realize you have sent money to several
> able bodied adults who are out enjoying themselves and trying to
> have group sex with the roadies while you stay at home and stare
> listlessly at a rerun of Shasta McNasty.

> Please. Do it for us. Do it for our own personal happiness.

Where can I send my $25 tax-deductable, charitable contribution...PLEASE respond quickly, I have an desperate feeling of being recognized as the "Best person who gave us $25."

 

[miserable lie]

money for tour

okay now...not all of the girls that help with that site are asking for money. the 2 head tour girls are the ones that want to venture to S. America. I know it SEEMS greedy, but ALL of you go to that site for tour info, to find out about last nights' show, etc....if everyone that went to that site sent $1 they could go and report on all those shows that we would probably not be able to hear about any other way. it is not a bad deal.

 

[Popper]

Re: money for tour

Do you have body odour? I enjoy girls with body odour. Just don't shave your armpits!

 

[gil hicks]

Re: money for tour

What are you on crack?!?!?!?!? We'll find out without them...there's posts from all over the world, I don't need to send a dollar to those girls so I can hear about how they sat in their VIP seats, or how that sat back stage with the singer of Smash Mouth...I mean Sack and had tea and did laundry. DO NOT GIVE THEM MONEY!!! They are giving you nothing other than information that will be handed out here or some other website for free. Don't buy into the scam. Nobody is holding them up to do this...they're doing this on their own and if they want to go, they should pay for it, not us...you don't see David Tseng asking for money, so why should they? What makes them so special? I don't remember David asking for money for the Maladjusted tour do you?

Fu$k Them!
-rob

> okay now...not all of the girls that help with that site are
> asking for money. the 2 head tour girls are the ones that want
> to venture to S. America. I know it SEEMS greedy, but ALL of you
> go to that site for tour info, to find out about last nights'
> show, etc....if everyone that went to that site sent $1 they
> could go and report on all those shows that we would probably
> not be able to hear about any other way. it is not a bad deal.

 

[Maladjustedly Keen]

Re: money for tour

if everyone that went to that site sent $1 they
> could go and report on all those shows that we would probably
> not be able to hear about any other way. it is not a bad deal.

I'll give them a $1 if they give me head..."not a bad deal."

 

[miserable lie]

Re: money for tour

IF the info was found somewhere else on the web you know it wouldn't be as complete and consice ( i.e photos and reviews of the show the day after it happened, and inside info that your regular fan would never have access to)as morrisseytour.com!! . why else would david use them as the official tour link that provides all the solo.com regulars with the tour info? they are the best. go ahead and try to find that info somewhere else!! you will always come back to morrisseytour.com, and you know it!

 

[~~ flirty ~~]

Re: money for some real news

> go ahead and try to find that info somewhere else!!
> you will always come back to morrisseytour.com, and you know it!

They give us more info and news of the tour than you can find on Morrissey-Solo. This board is more interested in bowel movements and urinary habits that what and how Morrissey's tour is going. I'll send them a few bucks. It is well worth it.

 

[suzanne]

Re: money for tour

> IF the info was found somewhere else on the web you know it
> wouldn't be as complete and consice ( i.e photos and reviews of
> the show the day after it happened, and inside info that your
> regular fan would never have access to)as morrisseytour.com!! .

but from what I can see, any fan can do it. If you start up a web site, and present yourself as a fanzine, you can get all the press passes. Even Thrill managed to get a pass with her fanzine at one point. Someone's access to the show was paid by Morrissey's people. After a while, if you are following the tour, that turns into a pretty big financial savings.

After reading the book "Please Kill Me", I got the sense that it is a hell of a lot easier to be a groupie and follow the big stars around than people think. If you hang out in their hangouts, make yourself known to them, and offer them a service of some sort (this time free publicity), then they are bound to take you along.

What better way for Sack to drum up some support for themselves by taking a bunch of wide-eyed fans who happen to run a webzine and being super nice to them? They aren't dumb. They've been playing in crappy dives for too long not to pass something like that up. They weren't big enough at the time to be able to hide in their hotel room like Morrissey.

> why else would david use them as the official tour link that
> provides all the solo.com regulars with the tour info? they are
> the best. go ahead and try to find that info somewhere else!!

maybe on the moz-solo tour link....between that and a few contributions of fans who visit this site, set lists for all the shows and several photos have been provided. It's about the same thing. If something shockingly different happens, people come here and make a big deal about it. Right now, I don't think people discuss the technicalities of the shows that much is because it is sort of like giving a point by point recount of a movie that everyone has already seen.

It May not be as organized per tour date on this website, but still...he's not really changing his set list that much, and you can only get so excited before you read (again) how he put on his English Martyr's shirt. It's sort of fun at the beginning to see what's new

> you will always come back to morrisseytour.com, and you know it!

 

[exorcist]

You're mean. you know you like those pictures and reviews.

 

[Netrag]

It's always ME, ME, ME!!

Yes, I’d like to contribute to this cause because, for goodness’ sake, if I’m going to earn money for someone to go to a Morrissey show, it sure as hell isn’t so that I can go! I mean, what kind of selfish bastard would that make me? To expect that money I earn would actually be spent on something for my own personal enjoyment. What a damn fool I would be! So sign me up, I’m totally enthusiastic about this – I haven’t been this razzed about a cause since Live Aid.
I’ll sell my body just to get these wonderful, selfless girls to another zillion Morrissey shows because I know it would be for MY benefit. Yeah, that brilliant web site of theirs is proof enough.