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Thread: Morrissey found dead in funeral home

  1. #1
    Mr. So&So
    Guest

    Default Morrissey found dead in funeral home

    With an astonishingly minimal amount of decay, aging pop icon Steven Patrick Morrissey was found dead this morning by patrons of Hunderside funeral parlor.

    Undertaker Parnelle Pasley found the resting singer positioned face down within one of the home’s disused coffins that is generally employed as a sales prop in one of the parlor’s newly renovated casket galleries.

    Initially, local authorities suspected the humorously tragic incident to be some sort of practical joke, but upon further investigation it was concluded that the singer was indeed dead, and will be forced to cancel the remaining shows on his current “Oye Esteban” tour.

    Authorities and patrons of the funeral home are still baffled as to how the singer’s remains managed to end up within the stored coffin, and exactly how long he had been resting there. At first it was suspected that the body was that of a local transient known for residing in the parlor after hours, but that particular assumption was quickly dispelled upon discovery of the singer’s expensive designer underwear.

    Memorial services will be held for the singer, as soon as the rosary is pried from his right hand.

    0 Not allowed!

  2. #2
    SleepTheClockAround
    Guest

    Default Stop reading those stupid magazines at the checkout.....the alien baby isnt real either(NM)

    > With an astonishingly minimal amount of decay, aging pop icon
    > Steven Patrick Morrissey was found dead this morning by patrons
    > of Hunderside funeral parlor.

    > Undertaker Parnelle Pasley found the resting singer positioned
    > face down within one of the home’s disused coffins that is
    > generally employed as a sales prop in one of the parlor’s newly
    > renovated casket galleries.

    > Initially, local authorities suspected the humorously tragic
    > incident to be some sort of practical joke, but upon further
    > investigation it was concluded that the singer was indeed dead,
    > and will be forced to cancel the remaining shows on his current
    > “Oye Esteban” tour.

    > Authorities and patrons of the funeral home are still baffled as
    > to how the singer’s remains managed to end up within the stored
    > coffin, and exactly how long he had been resting there. At first
    > it was suspected that the body was that of a local transient
    > known for residing in the parlor after hours, but that
    > particular assumption was quickly dispelled upon discovery of
    > the singer’s expensive designer underwear.

    > Memorial services will be held for the singer, as soon as the
    > rosary is pried from his right hand.

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  3. #3
    Greasetea World Order
    Guest

    Default Mr. So and So-friggin what!

    Now this is the kind of stuff that gets raisinbrains like you shot, hung and quatrtered without a tear in anyone's eyes. You are a fruitface to the nth degeree you stupid steaming pile of kangaroo SHlT! I think morons like you should be impaled with a grape juice popsicle while the rest of us tinkle on your knees you stupid fat toinky toink!
    Lissen up fat ass, I have a present for you. Open your hands out as I smash a mallot on your diggedery doo digity finger-foos so you can't type anymore of your drivel. Better yet, do us a favor and shove your head into a juicer and drink your damn face you damn snapneck!

    Yo, we all know that shiznit or not, singing ain't easy, so lets give it up to M.C> Moz, cawz tha dawg be in the hizzzy-ha-hoouzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaa! Kowabunga dudes and dudettes!

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  4. #4
    Fabricio
    Guest

    Default Re: Morrissey found dead in funeral home

    "You breaks my heart
    when you call Mister So-and-So's name"

    (Robert Johnson)

    Welcome home, Mr.So&So!!! I'm glad to see you again!!!

    > With an astonishingly minimal amount of decay, aging pop icon
    > Steven Patrick Morrissey was found dead this morning by patrons
    > of Hunderside funeral parlor.

    > Undertaker Parnelle Pasley found the resting singer positioned
    > face down within one of the home’s disused coffins that is
    > generally employed as a sales prop in one of the parlor’s newly
    > renovated casket galleries.

    > Initially, local authorities suspected the humorously tragic
    > incident to be some sort of practical joke, but upon further
    > investigation it was concluded that the singer was indeed dead,
    > and will be forced to cancel the remaining shows on his current
    > “Oye Esteban” tour.

    > Authorities and patrons of the funeral home are still baffled as
    > to how the singer’s remains managed to end up within the stored
    > coffin, and exactly how long he had been resting there. At first
    > it was suspected that the body was that of a local transient
    > known for residing in the parlor after hours, but that
    > particular assumption was quickly dispelled upon discovery of
    > the singer’s expensive designer underwear.

    > Memorial services will be held for the singer, as soon as the
    > rosary is pried from his right hand.

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  5. #5
    my only desire is to die
    Guest

    Default Re: Morrissey found dead in funeral home

    That's funny. Nice that you stopped the Mouse thing, that was getting tired.

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  6. #6
    Fabricio
    Guest

    Default Re: Morrissey found dead in funeral home

    > That's funny. Nice that you stopped the Mouse thing, that was
    > getting tired.

    Mr.So&So was Mouse?
    Funny indeed.

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  7. #7
    suzanne
    Guest

    Default Re: Morrissey found dead in funeral home

    > That's funny. Nice that you stopped the Mouse thing, that was
    > getting tired.

    Well, i was mostly right about what this Mouse character was, both a nutcase and a sarcastic twit, but I left out the bit about him being a freakishly morbid and annoying little @#!!!head.

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  8. #8
    Mr. So&So
    Guest

    Default The bitter and paranoid world of Suzanne.

    > Well, i was mostly right about what this Mouse character was,
    > both a nutcase and a sarcastic twit, but I left out the bit
    > about him being a freakishly morbid and annoying little @#!!!
    > head.

    Suzanne,
    If within your warped and self-obsessed world you think I would spend the time that this "Mouse" character did on chasing you around this forum, then the many hours you've spent inside have had an even more harsh effect on your fragile little psyche than I could have suspected.

    If you're so bothered with this "Mouse" character then I suggest that you use your "ties" with Mr. Tseng to find out exactly who this person is.

    I think it's time that you drop the bitterness Suzanne, and find something truly worthwhile to concentrate on.

    Finally, next time you assume that I am someone, please assume that I am someone a lot more interesting.

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  9. #9
    Cili Barnes
    Guest

    Default Re: The bitter and paranoid world of Suzanne.

    > Finally, next time you assume that I am someone, please assume
    > that I am someone a lot more interesting.

    Edith Sitwell! :-)



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  10. #10
    Gothy
    Guest

    Default A different era...

    It is wonderful to see you again, Mr. So & So...

    ...reminds me of a time when a lurker like myself could come to this board and read pronouncements of love cleverly written and heartfully sent. Then I could read response after response about how "this was a message board about Morrissey and you were off topic and take it somewhere else..."

    Trite... but a hell of a lot better than things about 'dawgs in da house" and all that...

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  11. #11
    suzanne
    Guest

    Default *sigh* have some Bailey's. It'l make you feel better

    > Suzanne,
    > If within your warped and self-obsessed world you think I would
    > spend the time that this "Mouse" character did on
    > chasing you around this forum, then the many hours you've spent
    > inside have had an even more harsh effect on your fragile little
    > psyche than I could have suspected.

    First of all, blame this other person who said you were them. I just assumed it was one of your many net friends who kept tabs on this stuff.

    If you read that, then you will obviously see that I had help coming to this conclusion and didn't dream it up in a drug induced state.

    > If you're so bothered with this "Mouse" character then
    > I suggest that you use your "ties" with Mr. Tseng to
    > find out exactly who this person is.

    jealous? well, one of the following may explain why I have "ties":

    1. I am actually Morrissey's web site slave. I am so well known and respected by Moz himself that he doesn't come to my home state on tour and I have to fly to California and pay to get into his shows, stand behind the barrier, and have stoner yuppies put their elbow in my face as Morrissey drives off in his limo and has a cheap laugh at my expense, and David still thinks I'm cool because of it.

    2. After months of not saying anything to him, I emailed David with something sort of unrelated 2 days before he made his web board debut and remembering that I'm an old coot on this board with a relatively level head, he pre quo pro'd me on it.

    Guess which one it is?

    > I think it's time that you drop the bitterness Suzanne, and find
    > something truly worthwhile to concentrate on.

    > Finally, next time you assume that I am someone, please assume
    > that I am someone a lot more interesting.

    *sigh* You are yelling at the wrong person, I tell ya.

    Oh well. What does it matter?

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  12. #12
    Greasetea
    Guest

    Default Re: *sigh* have some Bailey's. It'l make you feel better

    Suzzane, no razor blades..no things shoved up your ass, no Moz in tha' houzzeeaa's, no shiznits, no stick your head in...

    For God's sakes woman, shut the hell up! You ask for this abuse so don't bitch about it when it comes. besides that, happy halloween ya toinky toink.

    And your essays are boring. Please shut up, shut up , SHUT THE HELL UP!

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  13. #13
    suzanne
    Guest

    Default guess what I did today? as once promised....

    I went to the store, but I couldn't decide if I wanted orange juice or grape juice.

    Would you like to hear more?

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  14. #14
    Fabricio
    Guest

    Default Re: *sigh* have some Bailey's. It'l make you feel better

    > 1. I am actually Morrissey's web site slave. I am so well known
    > and respected by Moz himself that he doesn't come to my home
    > state on tour

    Oh, why won't you change ?
    Change and be nicer with Morrissey ?

    He'll certainly forgive you for saying he is like Paul MacCartney and he will go to Texas.

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  15. #15
    suzanne
    Guest

    Default it's time for his 8 o'clock whipping

    > Oh, why won't you change ?
    > Change and be nicer with Morrissey ?

    because he is a little hearbreaker. :^)

    he's not nice

    he needs discipline!

    > He'll certainly forgive you for saying he is like Paul
    > MacCartney and he will go to Texas.

    Um, I won't apologize for that, but I will say I'm sorry for saying he is a dope.

    i am the wind
    the rain and the sun
    the light on your door
    to show that you're home
    when you think the night has seen your mind
    there inside you twisted and unkind
    let me stand to show that you are blind
    please put down your hands
    coz i see you.....

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  16. #16
    Fabricio
    Guest

    Default ???????

    > i am the wind
    > the rain and the sun
    > the light on your door
    > to show that you're home
    > when you think the night has seen your mind
    > there inside you twisted and unkind
    > let me stand to show that you are blind
    > please put down your hands
    > coz i see you.....

    ???????
    This poem is yours?
    I liked it.
    And, sorry for asking, you see me?
    Or Morrissey?

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  17. #17
    suzanne
    Guest

    Default @@@@@

    > ???????
    > This poem is yours?
    > I liked it.

    it is from the velvet underground's first album.

    "I'll be your Mirror" is the track.

    John Cale, the supposed producer for Morrissey's next album is a member of this group....

    I also like

    "Who loves the sun?
    Who cares that it makes trees grow?
    Who cares what it does since you broke my heart

    pah pah pah paaaahhhh
    Who loves the sun?"

    But John didn't work on that song coz he was kicked out of the group at that point. Too bad.

    > And, sorry for asking, you see me?
    > Or Morrissey?

    well, ya ken, usually Morrissey...sometimes i get sidetracked.

    i have some original songs for him as well!

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  18. #18
    Fabricio
    Guest

    Default Re: @@@@@

    > it is from the velvet underground's first album.

    > "I'll be your Mirror" is the track.

    > John Cale, the supposed producer for Morrissey's next album is a
    > member of this group....

    Oh what a shame. This album belongs to my list of 10 better albums ever. The song was sung by Nico.

    Anyway, I said I never pay attention to lyrics, principally english ones etc etc

    > I also like

    > "Who loves the sun?
    > Who cares that it makes trees grow?
    > Who cares what it does since you broke my heart

    > pah pah pah paaaahhhh
    > Who loves the sun?"

    > But John didn't work on that song coz he was kicked out of the
    > group at that point. Too bad.

    To which album belongs this song? Probably the 3rd one, without John Cale, that has some wonderful songs too (I don't like their 2nd one - too much noisy).

    > well, ya ken, usually Morrissey...sometimes i get sidetracked.

    And why are you so cruel with him?

    > i have some original songs for him as well!

    Give him a chance.

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  19. #19
    suzanne
    Guest

    Default pppppp

    > Oh what a shame. This album belongs to my list of 10 better
    > albums ever. The song was sung by Nico.

    yes, indeed it was.

    > Anyway, I said I never pay attention to lyrics, principally
    > english ones etc etc

    I usually don't unless I want to learn the guitar part. That's what happened with that song.

    > To which album belongs this song? Probably the 3rd one, without
    > John Cale, that has some wonderful songs too (I don't like their
    > 2nd one - too much noisy).

    their last studio album. great album as well, but for different reasons.

    > And why are you so cruel with him?

    Because the whole thing is so ding dang frustrating! sometimes, well, I sort of like....direction. and when there is lack of it, confusion results and nothing is done.

    And well, also, I'm used to having things in small doses and not really exposing myself in such a sychophantic way, and when I do engage in obsessiveness, i try and do it in ways where i'm generally ignored. either that, or surround yourself with other obsessives. it's sort of like in jr. high when everyone sticks their nose in and starts behaving like 5 year olds if you have a crush and it annoys the @#!!! out of you.

    oh, and i don't know why you think i'm comparing him to McCartney in a way that is bad. Paul had the honor of being the "cute" one, he is prolific and multitalented, and he appreciates his audience. I don't see that as bad.

    > Give him a chance.

    i'd...like to...

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  20. #20
    Fabricio
    Guest

    Default Re: pppppp

    yes, indeed it was.

    > I usually don't unless I want to learn the guitar part. That's
    > what happened with that song.

    > their last studio album. great album as well, but for different
    > reasons.

    V.U.? The one that was released in the eighties? I always remember "Ocean" from this album. Velvet at its best.

    > Because the whole thing is so ding dang frustrating! sometimes,
    > well, I sort of like....direction. and when there is lack of it,
    > confusion results and nothing is done.

    What exactly is frustrating in your relationship with Morrissey?

    > And well, also, I'm used to having things in small doses and not
    > really exposing myself in such a sychophantic way, and when I do
    > engage in obsessiveness, i try and do it in ways where i'm
    > generally ignored. either that, or surround yourself with other
    > obsessives. it's sort of like in jr. high when everyone sticks
    > their nose in and starts behaving like 5 year olds if you have a
    > crush and it annoys the @#!!! out of you.

    Oh, I think here you can find other people obsessive about Morrissey as well. At least here nobody can tell you are obsessive about him.

    Anyway, in Curitiba almost nobody knows as much I am attached with this guy. My mail from work is moz@mail.copel.br. Almost nobody knows what "moz" mean. I say it's my "secret". It's funny. Perhaps now that Morrissey seems to come here and see me some of my friends will read some newspaper and will the real meaning of "moz". Perhaps not.

    > oh, and i don't know why you think i'm comparing him to
    > McCartney in a way that is bad. Paul had the honor of being the
    > "cute" one, he is prolific and multitalented, and he
    > appreciates his audience. I don't see that as bad.

    I think he is very proud for sold out shows without singing his great standards. The last edition of the brazilian magazine Showbizz has a review of a London show, that begins that way:

    "
    Few artists nowadays can do an european tour without a record label. Fewer artists can do a show without playing his greatest success from his solo career or from his former band, and even this way, don't deceive anybody. Morrissey can. Without a new cd and without a record label, the former vocalist of Smiths did recently sold out shows from Stockolm (Sweden) to Tessalonika (Greece) and saw his prestige remains intact in Europe. Welcome to the The Magic World of Moz (as his fans with caress call him).
    "

    Sorry for the translantion, but you see Suzanne? Few solo artists can make success following his own rules, stablishing solidly a new career after a great succes in a group. You see Echo came here to Curitiba and sang "Killing Moon" and lots of other success from their past. I didn't go. It would be sad.

    And there are some other people that see how difficult is to do what Morrissey does, as you see in the review above. But you refuse to see any merit in the choice Morrissey made.

    So think about and he'll go to Texas. Be sure.

    > i'd...like to...

    Any feelings there?

    What a good surprise!

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