With an astonishingly minimal amount of decay, aging pop icon Steven Patrick Morrissey was found dead this morning by patrons of Hunderside funeral parlor.
Undertaker Parnelle Pasley found the resting singer positioned face down within one of the home’s disused coffins that is generally employed as a sales prop in one of the parlor’s newly renovated casket galleries.
Initially, local authorities suspected the humorously tragic incident to be some sort of practical joke, but upon further investigation it was concluded that the singer was indeed dead, and will be forced to cancel the remaining shows on his current “Oye Esteban” tour.
Authorities and patrons of the funeral home are still baffled as to how the singer’s remains managed to end up within the stored coffin, and exactly how long he had been resting there. At first it was suspected that the body was that of a local transient known for residing in the parlor after hours, but that particular assumption was quickly dispelled upon discovery of the singer’s expensive designer underwear.
Memorial services will be held for the singer, as soon as the rosary is pried from his right hand.