What Happened to His Fear of Flying?

[CrushedRoseGoesSplat!]

For someone who's supposed to be so afraid to fly, Morrissey does take a lot of trips doesn't he? I don't imagine he swims to Los Angeles, yet with each year that passes he takes more and more trips there. Is Morrissey relaxing as he gets older, or is it the comfort of first class that's providing a false sense of security? Or maybe it's quick sex in a bathroom with a flight attendant that helps to keep his mind off the turbulence...more likely he just goes to the bathroom to play with the blue water...

[Paula]

> For someone who's supposed to be so afraid to fly, Morrissey¿ does take a lot of trips doesn't he?

Yeah I know I thought that too! He's such a faker. Maybe he is only afraid of flying when he has to tour - heheee!

Or maybe he really is just trying to get another hole punch in his mile high club card.

[Mani]

> Yeah I know I thought that too! He's such a faker. Maybe he is¿ only afraid of flying when he has to tour - heheee!

I could be just aniher convienient thing for him to put on his resume of restraints--vegetarian, celiate, fear of flying...get it?¿ Or maybe he really is just trying to get another hole punch in¿ his mile high club card.

The wouldn't give him one--they saw his signature, and laughed him out of the airport. Imagine, a man that can't write cursive.

[Sam Shuster]

He can't be a @#!!! all his life.

[Fabricio]

> I could be just aniher convienient thing for him to put on his¿ resume of restraints--vegetarian, celiate, fear of flying...get¿ it?

no doubt about it... and everything false, hehe...¿ The wouldn't give him one--they saw his signature, and laughed¿ him out of the airport. Imagine, a man that can't write cursive.

[crushed roses]

> He can't be a @#!!! all his life.

Nice Smoking Popes reference!

[boyleastlikelytoo(kakarot)]

whats that supose to mean? I can't write in cursive!

[Mr. So&So]

For someone who's supposed to be so afraid to have sex, Morrissey
does take a lot of sex trips doesn't he? I don't imagine he has sex all the way to Los Angeles, yet with each year that passes he takes more and more sex trips there. Is Morrissey having sex as he gets older, or is it the comfort of first class sex that's providing a false sense of security? Or maybe it's quick sex in a bathroom with a flight attendant that helps to keep his mind off the turbulence...more
likely he just goes to the bathroom to play with the blue water or create dramatic scenes with his tinky-winky hand puppet.

[Mr. So&So]

> Yeah I know I thought that too! He's such a faker. Maybe he is¿ only afraid of flying when he has to tour - heheee!

There you go again shooting your mouth off without doing the proper research.

Were you aware that the ol' Mozzer was a flight attendant before he hit it big as a con artist?

There never was a fear of flying.

Those rumors about him bursting into tears in airports were all concocted stories perpetrated by Jerry Falwell to convince the American public that all gay British pop icons are sissies.

So next time you get some dim idea about cracking a few jokes for your own viewing pleasure, make doubly sure that you don't know what you are talking about.

Speak before you think!

Okay sweetheart?

Can I ask you something?

Are you even a Morrissey fan?

Do you even know anything about the man himself, or what motivates him to not do certain things?

You speak in absolutes like you know these things for certain, and I have found that you are usually wrong.¿ Or maybe he really is just trying to get another hole punch in¿ his mile high club card.

Mile high club?

Is this another one of your heterosexual inside jokes?

Do this club honestly punch holes in a card for certain achievements?

Sounds juvenile if you ask me.

I'm not surprised though.

You probably are a member (if not the creater) of this "elite" group, and are shamelessly trying to drum up interest for it.

So miss "Woman Of The Skies" tell us about this club you seemed to be so obsessed with.

Is there a website for it?

I'm sure you have wasted your time creating one.

I await a link to see what the big secret is.

Now get away from me!

Signed,
Fervil Linkman

P.S. Nevermind.

[sam shuster]

> Nice Smoking Popes reference!

Nice spot! Even with the censored p-word no less.

[Lifeguard Reminiscing]

Hahahahhhaahhhahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jamie]

Back in the airplane,

Into the bathroom,

Steward or stewardESS?

Just think of the good will!

Holding myself back from making cracks about Morrissey and unisex bathrooms...

Cheers,

Jamie

[crushed roses]

> For someone who's supposed to be so afraid to have sex,¿ Morrissey¿ does take a lot of sex trips doesn't he? I don't imagine he has¿ sex all the way to Los Angeles, yet with each year that passes¿ he takes more and more sex trips there. Is Morrissey having sex¿ as he gets older, or is it the comfort of first class sex that's¿ providing a false sense of security? Or maybe it's quick sex in¿ a bathroom with a flight attendant that helps to keep his mind¿ off the turbulence...more¿ likely he just goes to the bathroom to play with the blue water¿ or create dramatic scenes with his tinky-winky hand puppet.

Original.

[Paula]

Fervil, my love.¿ There you go again shooting your mouth off without doing the¿ proper research.

I do these things just because I know you will scold me. It works like a charm you fall for it everytime.¿ Were you aware that the ol' Mozzer was a flight attendant before¿ he hit it big as a con artist?

Really Fervil? Tell me more. Tell me some more Mozzer stories ¿ Those rumors about him bursting into tears in airports were all¿ concocted stories perpetrated by Jerry Falwell to convince the¿ American public that all gay British pop icons are sissies.

=:O¿ So next time you get some dim idea about cracking a few jokes¿ for your own viewing pleasure, make doubly sure that you don't¿ know what you are talking about.

Yes sir!¿ Speak before you think!

I will sir!¿ Okay sweetheart?

Yes *grinning shyly*¿ Can I ask you something?¿ Are you even a Morrissey fan?

Is he the guy who sings with The Smiths? He's okay I really only come here to see you Fervil ¿ Do you even know anything about the man himself, or what¿ motivates him to not do certain things?

Umm I don't know? Yes?¿ You speak in absolutes like you know these things for certain,¿ and I have found that you are usually wrong.

I know and I am ashamed of myself! ¿ So miss "Woman Of The Skies" tell us about this club¿ you seemed to be so obsessed with.¿ Is there a website for it?¿ I'm sure you have wasted your time creating one.¿ I await a link to see what the big secret is.¿ Now get away from me!

Say it again! Come on say it like you really mean it!!

Come on Fervil let's see it grrrrrrrrrr

[Mani]

> whats that supose to mean? I can't write in cursive!

You should try to learn if you're gonna be a rock star. It makes the autographs more convincing. I can autograph CDs for Moz if he wanted me to. His handwriting is substandard.

[boyleastlikelytoo(kakarot)]

> You should try to learn if you're gonna be a rock star. It makes¿ the autographs more convincing. I can autograph CDs for Moz if¿ he wanted me to. His handwriting is substandard.

hmm...well if you say so

[interesting drug]

Extasy supposely causes brain damage you know. I think I've heard Dr. Drew say a zillion times that it's a methamphetamine chemically altered to have hallucinogenic properties.

[Fabricio]

> For someone who's supposed to be so afraid to have sex,¿ Morrissey¿ does take a lot of sex trips doesn't he? I don't imagine he has¿ sex all the way to Los Angeles, yet with each year that passes¿ he takes more and more sex trips there. Is Morrissey having sex¿ as he gets older, or is it the comfort of first class sex that's¿ providing a false sense of security? Or maybe it's quick sex in¿ a bathroom with a flight attendant that helps to keep his mind¿ off the turbulence...more

sex, sex, sex, you think all the time about sex, mr so&so... anyway, quick sex in a bathroom with a flight attendant... i'm imagining it... wow... i won't sleep tonight... mmmmmmm...

[Mr. So&So]

Well, Fabricio, I could talk about my passion for sticker collecting, but that wouldn't be much fun now would it?

By the way, did I tell you that I am the proud owner of a rare, limited edition sticker album, commemorating the 3000 anniversary of the "Kama Sutra?"

You see?

Now you got me talking about my Goddamn sticker collection!

-So&So

[Fabricio]

frankly mr. so&so, i want you to talk more about quick sex in a bathroom with a flight attendant...

the girl below is not a flight attendant... but she flies a lot! what do you think about?