T
The clumsy mortician
Guest
Here is an account of the accident from the "Sad Mind Tribune."
"Mothers have been warned for years that a child can drown in only an inch of water. Sadly, within the hours of mid-morning last night, a grown child was found suffocated by this clear, familiar element that runs secretely within the most hidden apects of our homes and office buildings throughout the nation.
The victim, one Stephen(sic) Patricia (sic) Morrisissy, former
ex-lead singer of the now defunct punk band, "The Nosebleeds," failed to withdraw the drain plug from its deadly position before placing his head beneath the shallow layer of water in order to drown himeslf.
"Trent Crumlin of the local fire department, had this to say about the tragic scene: 'What I want people to learn from this sad intended accident is that it is impossible to survive when placing your head into any depth of water for an extended period of time without coming up for air. Especially if your intentions are to kill yourself.'
Friends of the singer in theory would be shocked by the artists
sudden and expected deaprture, but the fact that he is in
possession of none, leaves such realities in the realm of a best
guess.
A tour of the pop-star's remains will begin next week on October
3rd, and make its way around the country throughout many small
venues, until it ends on December 8th where proper memorial services will be held in some anonymous funeral home."
-Morton Strutendale
(Free-lance imaginist for the Sad Mind Tribune)
"Mothers have been warned for years that a child can drown in only an inch of water. Sadly, within the hours of mid-morning last night, a grown child was found suffocated by this clear, familiar element that runs secretely within the most hidden apects of our homes and office buildings throughout the nation.
The victim, one Stephen(sic) Patricia (sic) Morrisissy, former
ex-lead singer of the now defunct punk band, "The Nosebleeds," failed to withdraw the drain plug from its deadly position before placing his head beneath the shallow layer of water in order to drown himeslf.
"Trent Crumlin of the local fire department, had this to say about the tragic scene: 'What I want people to learn from this sad intended accident is that it is impossible to survive when placing your head into any depth of water for an extended period of time without coming up for air. Especially if your intentions are to kill yourself.'
Friends of the singer in theory would be shocked by the artists
sudden and expected deaprture, but the fact that he is in
possession of none, leaves such realities in the realm of a best
guess.
A tour of the pop-star's remains will begin next week on October
3rd, and make its way around the country throughout many small
venues, until it ends on December 8th where proper memorial services will be held in some anonymous funeral home."
-Morton Strutendale
(Free-lance imaginist for the Sad Mind Tribune)
