¿ Did you ever consider that if everyone took this advice there¿ wouldn't be any great books? Because nobody would have anything¿ to write about....
There are many great novels about suffering. Matter of fact, there is one called "Les Miserables"
I can see where she is coming from though. If you are very unfamiliar with the turf involved in dating and love, you can see why the idea is very frightening. Suddenly, there is this whole code of interaction that you are not used to and don't know how to handle. Feelings that you are used to keeping only to yourself must suddenly be shared, and then if you share the wrong thing, you have to worry if that other person will understand or think you are a weirdo and leave you. Despite what all those self help therapists preach about unconditional love, it really doesn't exist anywhere. Especially in dating relationships when that person thinks to themself, "I'm smart, I'm good looking, I have means, and it is possible for others (besides this person I'm with) to like me. Why should I stay with them?"
I don't know. I've seen too many people bounce from one relationship to another to the point where it just doesn't mean a whole lot. I've seen too many people miserable, tied down, and sacrificial for some guy that is a complete jerk. The guys I liked were well out of my reach and all the losers came around and made me miserable. And for so many years, I had absolutely nothing positive to base what a relationship should be on and I immediately chunked every guy's phone number in the trash (which I would usually take to get them off my back) because I did not feel anything was worth any effort. I didn't think it would matter to most of them anyway. They would just find some other girl and not think anything of it.