Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Monty Python learns lesson from Bush

  1. #1
    Notastitchtowear
    Guest

    Default Monty Python learns lesson from Bush

    A letter to the London Observer from Terry Jones (yes, of Monty Python)

    Letter to the Observer
    Sunday January 26, 2003
    The Observer

    I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq:
    he's running out of patience. And so am I! For some time now I've been really pissed off with Mr Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street.
    Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me, but so far I haven't been able to discover what.
    I've been round to his place a few times to see what he's up to, but he's got everything well hidden. That's how devious he is. As for Mr Patel, don't ask me how I know, I just know - from very good sources - that he is, in reality, a Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the street telling them that if we don't act first, he'll pick us off one by one.
    Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the
    police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours.
    They'll come up with endless red tape and quibbling about the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive strike and all the while Mr Johnson will be finalising his plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr Patel will be secretly murdering people.
    Since I'm the only one in the street with a decent range of automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to me to keep the peace. But until recently that's been a little difficult. Now, however, George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need to do is run out of patience, and then I can wade in and do whatever I want!
    And let's face it, Mr Bush's carefully thought-out policy towards Iraq
    is the only way to bring about international peace and security. The one certain way to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers targeting the US or the UK is to bomb a few Muslim countries that have never threatened us.
    That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and kill his wife and children. Strike first! That'll teach him a lesson. Then he'll leave us in peace and stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way.
    Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass destruction - even if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just as much justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as Mr Bush has for bombing Iraq. Mr Bush's long-term aim is to make the world a safer place by eliminating 'rogue states' and 'terrorism'. It's such a clever long-term aim because how can you ever know when you've achieved it?
    How will Mr Bush know when he's wiped out all terrorists? When every single terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only a terrorist once he's committed an act of terror.
    What about would-be terrorists? These are the ones you really want to eliminate, since most of the known terrorists, being suicide bombers, have already eliminated themselves.
    Perhaps Mr Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a future terrorist? Maybe he can't be sure he's achieved his objective until every Muslim fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate Muslims might convert to fundamentalism. Maybe the only really safe thing to do would be for Mr Bush to eliminate all Muslims?
    It's the same in my street. Mr Johnson and Mr Patel are just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of other people in the street who I don't like and who - quite frankly - look at me in odd ways. No one will be really safe until I've wiped them all out. My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm simply using the same logic as the President of the United States. That shuts her up.
    Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a good enough
    reason for the President, it's good enough for me. I'm going to give the whole street two weeks - no, 10 days - to come out in the open and hand over all aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws and interstellar terrorist masterminds, and if they don't hand them over nicely and say 'Thank you', I'm going to bomb the entire street to kingdom come. It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing - and, in contrast to what he's intending, my policy will destroy only one street.

    0 Not allowed!

  2. #2
    Mindy
    Guest

    Default ah, i love terry jones

    thanks for posting that! it was brilliant.

    0 Not allowed!

  3. #3
    alma
    Guest

    Default Re: ah, i love terry jones

    > thanks for posting that! it was brilliant.

    I agree. What if they only had a blooming gabbage growing industry with a dictator in Iraq and no oil whatsoever... Would there be a war? I'm just wondering.

    0 Not allowed!

  4. #4
    hairdresser on fire
    Guest

    Default Re: ah, i love terry jones

    > I agree. What if they only had a blooming gabbage growing industry with a
    > dictator in Iraq and no oil whatsoever... Would there be a war? I'm just
    > wondering.

    That was great, forwarding it to everyone I know!

    0 Not allowed!

  5. #5
    Benton
    Guest

    Default Re: ah, i love terry jones

    Well, Iím a Python fan and Iíve heard many reasonable arguments against war with Iraq (some on this site), but what a dismal, juvenile piece.

    Even in his ludicrous analogy, he could have mentioned that the reasons for being ďa bit pissed off with Mr JohnsonĒ might have something to do with the fact that 13 years ago Mr Johnson thought that heíd help himself to a bit of next doorís land, was chased out of it by the wider neighbours who wanted to throw him out of his house , but agreed to let him stay there on the condition that he changed his ways and that he would provide evidence of this over the next few years.

    Hereís a link to someone who addresses his readers as if theyíre adults




    http://www.guardian.co.uk/Columnists...897695,00.html

    0 Not allowed!

  6. #6
    Qui Vive
    Guest

    Default Re: ah, i love terry jones

    > Well, Iím a Python fan and Iíve heard many reasonable arguments against
    > war with Iraq (some on this site), but what a dismal, juvenile piece.

    I agree, completely unimaginative and utterly pathetic. A sophomoric, ill thought out and embarrassing analogy. I had always suspected that Terry Jones' contribution to the Pythons was little more than dressing up in womans clothes and talking in a high pitched voice, this has convinced me I was correct.

    0 Not allowed!

  7. #7
    Notastitchtowear
    Guest

    Default Re: ah, i love terry jones

    > I agree, completely unimaginative and utterly pathetic. A sophomoric, ill
    > thought out and embarrassing analogy. I had always suspected that Terry
    > Jones' contribution to the Pythons was little more than dressing up in
    > womans clothes and talking in a high pitched voice, this has convinced me
    > I was correct.

    That's very true, Bush's logic for attacking Iraq is unamaginative, utterly pathetic, embarrassing and juvenile, I'm glad we agree on this.

    0 Not allowed!

Similar Threads

  1. Monty Python
    By wolve in forum Off-topic archive 2006 (read-only)
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: July 28, 2006, 06:03 PM
  2. Favorite Monty Python Cast Member
    By Denia in forum Off-topic archive 2006 (read-only)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: May 21, 2006, 11:01 PM
  3. No British fan of Cod or Theo would dare purchase Calvin and Hobbes as we are more into Monty Python
    By flawed again in forum General Discussion archive 2005 (read-only)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: June 6, 2005, 12:52 AM
  4. Bush or Morrissey, you can't have both. Off to www.bush-solo.com for the lot of you Bush-lovers.
    By The Voice Of Reason in forum General Discussion archive 2004 (read-only)
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: June 8, 2004, 05:55 PM
  5. Monty Clift
    By Paula in forum General Discussion archive 1999 (read-only)
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: March 5, 1999, 04:05 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •