INFO RELEVANT TO MOZ FANS IN THE UK

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Mindy.

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A GUIDE TO ALL THINGS SCOUSE AND SCUM

The Home Secretary under Margaret Thatcher confirmed that a large quantity of lead had seeped into the public water supply of the greater Liverpool metropolitan region throughout the 1960’s and 70’s. The end result was an abnormally large percentage of birth defects and genetic mutations. One study speculated that close to 95% of the population of greater Liverpool had been impacted by the tainted water. Over the course of 2 decades it became clear that Liverpool had become largely inhabited by a breed of half-retarded, socially dysfunctional misfits. Probably the most marked characteristic of persons from this region was their physical repulsiveness, and Parliament passed a series of guidelines for the medical community to help them recognize and identify Scousers. “The Scouse Scum” as they came to be labeled, were characterized by:

Stooped body posture
Sloped forehead
Excessive body hair
Webbed fingers and toes
Explosive and uncontrollable bowel movements

Knowing just how utterly unmanageable a half-retarded, trouser-shitting mob of scouser scum can get, the Liverpool City council began focusing immense amounts of time and energy developing and promoting two shite football clubs. This venture was a double-edged sword. While it kept the scouser hordes occupied, it also inadvertently revealed to the world the depth of depravation and ineptitude to which the scousers had sunk.

As recently as 2001 Tony Blair promoted, with a great deal of support from Parliament, an act informally known as the, “Keep the Scousers Scum Out”. This act proposes building a massive and un-scalable concrete wall essentially isolating the inhabitants of Liverpool from the outside world. In fact, such is the menace from the scouse scum that it has even been suggested blocking off the entire coast of Western England and Wales as a means of containing the threat.

Popular culture has responded by devoting volumes of literature and musical offerings to sum up the feelings of the rest of England towards Scouser scum. This attitude is probably best epitomized by the following widely recognized pub sing-a-long:

In your Liverpool slums,
You look in the dustbin for something to eat,
You find a dead rat and you think it's a treat,
In your Liverpool slums
.
In your Liverpool slums,
You shit on the carpet, you piss in the bath,
You finger your grandma, and think its a laugh,
In your Liverpool slums.
.
In your Liverpool slums,
You speak in an accent exceedingly rare,
You wear a pink tracksuit and have curly hair,
In your Liverpool slums.
.
In your Liverpool slums,
Your mum's on the game and your dad's in the nick,
You can't get a job 'cos you're too f***ing thick,
In your Liverpool slums.
.
In your Liverpool slums,
You used to sing "Munich" but not anymore,
Since ninety-six scousers lay dead on the floor,
In your Liverpool slums
 
Be brave and use your own name
 
I'm not from England, but goddamn that was funny shit! lmao!
 
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