True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real life?

True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real life?

  • true

    Votes: 2 22.2%
  • false

    Votes: 7 77.8%

  • Total voters
    9
Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

Yes you can meet, but nothing replaces the experience of time with someone and the nuance of everyday life. I could surely learn a lot by the sharing of myself and them sharing with me online. But the benefit of time with someone physically in your life determines compatibility. A good start online, possibly, you will never know until regular contact is put in motion. Things and people are a mystery until face to face. You cannot predict temperament from an online tryst.

I think about myself. You adapt and change with time when you are with someone. You cannot predict these things online. I surely was open to my wife starting a career after college. When we decided to have children, I was able to comfortably support our household with my career. She, given the her own free will, was able to chose whether to begin a career or start a family. She chose to raise our children, and I have a lot of respect for that. So much so that I am keenly aware of what she sacrificed and do everything to emotionally support that. See she did not have to forgo a career but she did. This is life and issues that shape us as a family happen in real time. I hardly doubt that these can be vetted online. Online is probably a wonderful introduction to learn someone's moral and ethical values. All long as you are trying to actually find those moral and ethical values when talking to someone online and not just looking to look, or to satisfy some temporary craving for affection.

Introduction yes, would it keep me from meeting someone in real life, no way, because real life is the only way you are going to know a real person. Otherwise they are just words written somewhere.

Some people have online affairs, true, and never meet in real life. But I think they are in the minority. Most people I know are looking locally and hope to meet the other person as soon as possible after connecting online--usually after a few messages and a phone call. I just see it as another tool. No different from a brother introducing you to his wife's friend. Or you running into someone at an art gallery or a Meetup group for cyclists. Say you were single and posting on a cycling website. And there you find you have many common interests with a gal who lives in your city. You guys decide to meet for coffee. You hit it off and plan a date where you go cycling along the water and have a picnic lunch and get to know one another. You meet again, and again. Soon you find you both want to be exclusive and build a relationship. And you are in love. But you met online. That is the MO for most online daters who find love online.
 
Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

With all due respect, No1uno, I don't think you're in a position to speak for anyone other than yourself here. You are quite clearly not comfortable with being non-anonymous online, as evidenced by your blue dots (and so on), and you have drawn a line between your identity in the physical realm and your cloak in the internet world. There's nothing wrong with that, of course, but you are coming from a VERY different place and with an entirely different approach than someone like me, who has chosen to be entirely accessible and identifiable on the internet. It even makes me uncomfortable to use the name "Chickpea," frankly, and this is the only forum in which I don't use my real name (Anna) as an identifier. In other words, we have completely different approaches to how we present ourselves online, and your discomfort with the format is precisely the reason why it's not a place where you are likely to meet a partner—whether a lifelong friendship or a romantic relationship.

Personally, I think the greatest error in judgement made when meeting new people is believing that the person you see before you—in the flesh, I mean—is both trustworthy and an accurate representation of who they are outside of that moment. The truth is that people change from moment to moment, and our behavior and beliefs fluctuate depending on any number of variables. Those variables don't disappear when you step away from the internet, nor do all of the affectations that come with wanting to present your best self to a potential new mate or friend. If anything, I've found that meeting in person can complicate perception, since physical attraction (and physical self-consciousness) can so easily get in the way of understanding point of view or taking time to pay attention to what's being said. As I said in another comment, the longest-lasting relationships I've had in my life are the ones that began online—or even earlier, in the days of writing letters to penpals. I don't think that's because I'm socially inept or physically revolting, I think it's more to do with putting a greater value on words than anything else a human can produce.

I don't believe that what's true for me is true for anyone else, of course, but this has been my experience. If you treat the internet and your presences within it the same as you do your offline life, you find that it's not really all that different. I don't think anyone is trying to make a case for starting a family with someone you will never meet in person (which seems to be what you're countering in your second paragraph), but there is nothing of lesser value about a relationship that begins that way.

Bravo. Very well said.
 
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Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

Is it possible that those that are saying OP has a "MO" also have an "MO"? I think you are confusing modus operandi with ulterior motive. That alone shows the level of discussion and its loweness, the lack of intelligence and critical thinking. This is a true or false poll, nothing more. Live and let live. Perhaps stop complaining and actually make a contribution to the site or go back to talking about cats.
 
Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

Is it possible that those that are saying OP has a "MO" also have an "MO"? I think you are confusing modus operandi with ulterior motive. That alone shows the level of discussion and its loweness, the lack of intelligence and critical thinking. This is a true or false poll, nothing more. Live and let live. Perhaps stop complaining and actually make a contribution to the site or go back to talking about cats.

I have no clue if BG has a MO or an UM. But the way the poll was structured leads me to think he does not think one can meet people online and IRL. He seems to think it has to be one or the other. And that those who use online dating sites only do so because they cannot meet others IRL. Like it is a last resort. It may actually be a preferred option even when others exist.
 
Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

You have stated, without backup, that these polls are "unscientific." Nothing could be more unscientific than a True/False poll with an option for "other"
 
Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

Hey, I have a crazy idea! How about we ask Belligerent Ghoul? I'll volunteer.

BG, do you have an MO? How about a UM? Or are you perhaps just curious how others feel, and thought this subject might make for an interesting discussion?
 
Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

Hey, I have a crazy idea! How about we ask Belligerent Ghoul? I'll volunteer.

BG, do you have an MO? How about a UM? Or are you perhaps just curious how others feel, and thought this subject might make for an interesting discussion?

Lawyers are paid to lie so do not expect an honest answer.
 
Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

Hey, I have a crazy idea! How about we ask Belligerent Ghoul? I'll volunteer.

BG, do you have an MO? How about a UM? Or are you perhaps just curious how others feel, and thought this subject might make for an interesting discussion?

I was just interested to know how others feel and thought this would make for an insightful discussion. I have met people from Match.com, PlentyofFish, OKCupid, TwoMangoes (check it out!), and even this website. Yesterday, I got a woman's number from a Trader Joe's. Then, Zarah called (see Robby's what friends are for thread) wanting me to meet her single friend. Online vs. IRL is no versus. We meet people where we meet them. I personally superimposed societal stigmas on myself in the past about meeting others online. I wanted to see if those stereotypes had lessened, increased, remained the same, etc. in the decade that has followed my first meeting with someone whom I had first met online. And further, I am sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings or upset anyone. That was not my intent.
 
Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

I was just interested to know how others feel and thought this would make for an insightful discussion. I have met people from Match.com, PlentyofFish, OKCupid, TwoMangoes (check it out!), and even this website. Yesterday, I got a woman's number from a Trader Joe's. Then, Zarah called (see Robby's what friends are for thread) wanting me to meet her single friend. Online vs. IRL is no versus. We meet people where we meet them. I personally superimposed societal stigmas on myself in the past about meeting others online. I wanted to see if those stereotypes had lessened, increased, remained the same, etc. in the decade that has followed my first meeting with someone whom I had first met online. And further, I am sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings or upset anyone. That was not my intent.

Thanks for clarifying your position.
 
Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

You have stated, without backup, that these polls are "unscientific." Nothing could be more unscientific than a True/False poll with an option for "other"

A sample size of seven is not a clear representation of the opinions of this 500 plus member community. Let alone the society at large. Who voted? Seven people? One person registered under multiple names? Only those registered? Only those who are strongly for or against online dating? Plus the question was phrased in a biased way.
 
Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

With all due respect, No1uno, I don't think you're in a position to speak for anyone other than yourself here. You are quite clearly not comfortable with being non-anonymous online, as evidenced by your blue dots (and so on), and you have drawn a line between your identity in the physical realm and your cloak in the internet world. There's nothing wrong with that, of course, but you are coming from a VERY different place and with an entirely different approach than someone like me, who has chosen to be entirely accessible and identifiable on the internet. It even makes me uncomfortable to use the name "Chickpea," frankly, and this is the only forum in which I don't use my real name (Anna) as an identifier. In other words, we have completely different approaches to how we present ourselves online, and your discomfort with the format is precisely the reason why it's not a place where you are likely to meet a partner—whether a lifelong friendship or a romantic relationship.

Yes, you are correct, I am only speaking for me. And yes, we seem to be at opposite ends of the "all or nothing" online identity spectrum. Nonetheless I respect yours and it is obvious from your reply that you respect others and I appreciate that.
 
Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

online identity, hmm, thats a tricky one, its simply not the sum and total of who I am :straightface:
& if I were to use a site to "date people" :blushing: I think I would probably filter what I said there :o
rather than what I've done on this site over the years :crazy:
heck I am probably more consistently honest here then I am in my real life and it is just because I do consider this place to be "different" then anywhere else for me
I know this is not exactly what BG or others are talking about, but I simply don't have the time to have all these different personas that others seem able to maintain
if anything I try to bring a real genuiness to my meeting of people in what I still like to call "real life" and this forum was in many ways a test lab for that
I am ever so thankful that I chose this route rather than some dating site, but hey, to each their own :thumb:
 
Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

I met my wife before online dating, before going online in my case. So everyone I ever met was through work, college, friends, etc. I think if you're older it's probably necessary, if I became single again I literally don't know any single people so that would narrow my options right down.

When you're young I think you should get out and about and you'll meet people often enough. Not many people settle down with their first partner for life so there's plenty to go at without resorting to online dating. It seems a shame to cut out the adventure of meeting people in "real life". Sure most people you meet are a terrible match and even when you meet your life partner you're probably still a terrible match in many ways but if you love someone you make it work. My way would be to accept what someone is, don't change them and don't look for perfection - if you're looking online to find this it'll work as well as if you're looking for perfection in the real world.

I know two couples who met online, both got to an age where they thought enough was enough I guess and took matters into their own hands. Both couples have been together for a few years and are now married and seem as happy as anyone else. So yes, whatever floats your boat! But don't skip the adventure of real life before taking a short cut.
 
Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

I met my wife before online dating, before going online in my case. So everyone I ever met was through work, college, friends, etc. I think if you're older it's probably necessary, if I became single again I literally don't know any single people so that would narrow my options right down.

When you're young I think you should get out and about and you'll meet people often enough. Not many people settle down with their first partner for life so there's plenty to go at without resorting to online dating. It seems a shame to cut out the adventure of meeting people in "real life". Sure most people you meet are a terrible match and even when you meet your life partner you're probably still a terrible match in many ways but if you love someone you make it work. My way would be to accept what someone is, don't change them and don't look for perfection - if you're looking online to find this it'll work as well as if you're looking for perfection in the real world.

I know two couples who met online, both got to an age where they thought enough was enough I guess and took matters into their own hands. Both couples have been together for a few years and are now married and seem as happy as anyone else. So yes, whatever floats your boat! But don't skip the adventure of real life before taking a short cut.

But from my experience the ones I know that met in real life did not stay together for long and those that met online did. I think the reason is that online people find soulmates easier whereas people who met in real life seem to be having more one night stands and such. I don't think you can find quality people in bars and clubs and I know that the old solo chat created several couples and some even had kids.

Maybe we have to conclude that all love is good love no matter how long or short it lasts. My relationships from real life like work and such did not last long but the women I met online those relationships lasted for years and the latest one has been going on for 8 years now.
 
Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

When you're young I think you should get out and about and you'll meet people often enough. Not many people settle down with their first partner for life so there's plenty to go at without resorting to online dating. It seems a shame to cut out the adventure of meeting people in "real life".

Agree with this 100%. Folks in their twenties should try to meet others in real life--at work and school or at clubs, etc. They should be out and about enjoying all that life has to offer--not sitting at a computer chatting and looking at profiles. But the older folks have less opportunities to meet singles. So online dating can be a great tool/means for meeting others.


I know two couples who met online, both got to an age where they thought enough was enough I guess and took matters into their own hands. Both couples have been together for a few years and are now married and seem as happy as anyone else. So yes, whatever floats your boat! But don't skip the adventure of real life before taking a short cut.

Agree.
 
Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

But from my experience the ones I know that met in real life did not stay together for long and those that met online did. I think the reason is that online people find soulmates easier whereas people who met in real life seem to be having more one night stands and such. I don't think you can find quality people in bars and clubs and I know that the old solo chat created several couples and some even had kids.

Maybe we have to conclude that all love is good love no matter how long or short it lasts. My relationships from real life like work and such did not last long but the women I met online those relationships lasted for years and the latest one has been going on for 8 years now.

I like that. Online is a great place to meet friends as well. I met one of my best friends online. I could ONLY have met him this way as he lives in another state. But we email several times a day. Text. Maybe one day we will meet. I feel very fortunate to have met him. My life has been enriched. A guy like that is rare. Thanks to the Net, I found him. :)
 
Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

False. However, most of the "good ones" over age 30 are taken.
If you are over 30 and are 'spoken for' you really can't make a good faith denial of my claim...unless you are a widow.
 
Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

False. However, most of the "good ones" over age 30 are taken.
If you are over 30 and are 'spoken for' you really can't make a good faith denial of my claim...unless you are a widow.

Fascinating.
 
Re: True/False: People who use online dating sites are not able to meet romantic partners in real li

False. However, most of the "good ones" over age 30 are taken.
If you are over 30 and are 'spoken for' you really can't make a good faith denial of my claim...unless you are a widow.

False. Most of the good ones over thirty are back on the market.
 
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