Symbolic Stuff Nobody Gives a Crap About

[CrystalGeezer]

It's just a gnarly tree. I'm bummed it's so hazy today, the last few weeks have been pristine clear mountains and the day I finally park in the right spot it's ugly out, but this is a real glyph. The bull horns or ship are the half moon "smile," the steps or triangle are upside down which is normal for these things, they often get delivered like a Picasso portrait, but all the elements are there. Add an ANCH which is a "key" and you have the makings of an official new age. The dudes are being born chicks now. Compassion and empathy will reign eventually.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

There is this Venn Diagram of my world and your world, the intersection is a vesica piscis filled in by a water colorist and 100,000 zombies. And that's how it has to stay because there is more to show. I just don't know what it is yet.

It's very hard for me to watch movies. THere is simultaneously me reacting to the emotion of the metaphor while receiving valuable leads to move on to the next thing. It is exhausting. It is not manic, it is a language.

It's Babble.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Old but gold, one of my best ones imho.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I saw a couple of awesome ghost cats likely running the show over at Bodhi Tree, Covina Annex. The first one was a real cat camped out underneath the trailer I was photographing the graffiti of. I think he was expecting me to feed him, it looks like someone is leaving him food which is good.

But the other was quite startling and freaked me out. I noticed a hose was tapping the fire hydrant around back and traced it to likely the construction site behind the store so they can water down the dirt to cut down on dust. When I went over to look over the fence there seemed to be a glowing ice sculpture of a mountain lion. I couldn't get close enough to figure out if it's flat or sculpted, temporary or real, but at any rate it was a monument to the other glowing cat tonight under the truck tires, they were both white and eerie. THen again I'm in telling-myself-ghost-stories-mode so maybe in the daytime it's totally lame. The tree is lame at night, it needs sunshine to read.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

He gave me a gold waterman fountain pen I lost in my backyard, it fell out of my pencil case or something, I was being inattentive. I had a box turtle in my backyard I rescued and the turtle carried it under the house for some reason and hid it. My dad and I crawled under the house looking for the gold pen and never could find it, it was a $500 pen in the 90s.

The moral of the story is don't give 16 year old girls with ADD you are trying to Stockholm seduce into being your Eliza Doolittle Lolita $500 irreplacable gold fountain pens.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

A man handed me this on the subway and asked if I knew Jesus Christ. Is this an example of irony, Evan?

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I think about her every day.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Saint Anne blows out the candles of her cake in her tradewinds, her santa anas and whispers...

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Emily gave me post notes for my birthday in the shape of a desk. The post it note scene got me the worst even though the car crash dream is constant, the suicide on the tracks attempted, the view looking up into the trees on every car ride The Pali, but the post it note, "He belongs here." with the keys...lost it. Emily is smart and keeps in touch, I'll never be far from her in case she gets weird, I can coach her through it.

Sorry, selfish movie other than the bits of us both being f***en damaged from selfish people.

I was put in charge of doing her baby book. I should probably get that done before she turns three next month. It'll be my sitting up in the car scene.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

America, your head's too big
Because, America,
Your belly's too big
And I love you, I just wish you'd stay where you is

In America
The land of the Free, they said
And of Opportunity
In a just and a truthful way
But where the President
Is never black, female or gay
And until that day
You've got nothing to say to me
To help me believe
In America

"It brought you the hamburger"
Well. America, you know where
You can shove your hamburger
And don't you wonder
Why in Estonia they say
"Hey you, Big fat pig
You fat pig, You fat pig"

Steely-blue eyes with no love in them
Scan The World
And a humourless smile
With no warmth within
Greets the world
And I, I have got nothing
To offer you
No-no-no-no-no
Just this heart deep and true
Which you say you don't need

See with your eyes
Touch with your hands, please
Hear through your ears
Know in your soul, please
For haven't you me with you now?
And I love you, I love you, I love you
And I love you, I love you, I love you

***

I read "belly" as "bully," her bully was too big to take on, but she did.

See the X under the guy with the big head? That's the bottom of the wreath, the arch makes the wreath of Union Station or US of America.

New plot development. Devotchka is suggesting he didn't buy the magnums for the girl at the table who he argues with, they're for the next girl.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I should give these letters to a Stockholm Syndrome researcher. I never wanted to cut my hair, I'd tell him I did because I knew that's what he wanted to hear., but then I'd fight it when I asked myself what I wanted and he'd use that to call me erratic and untrustworthy. "You said you wanted to cut your hair, now you are being petulant." By 1994 I gave in as evidenced by this photo in tis letter for some reason, preparing Thanksgiving at my mom's house as the "happy couple."

I didn't love living, it was around this time I was considering suicide more and more. You have no idea how powerful he was, the control he had.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Some scraggley old cat in the parking lot of Home Depot had my heart skip a beat. I love tricking myself, it's so fun.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I'm a little nervous because I'm bombing my OWN house tonight. Too many nymphs. (baby roaches)

Usually I squash them one at a time and say a little prayer but I need to bomb it. Jerry's already at the neighbors, Barney's going with me, we can sleep at Hogwarts after I pick up Crash for the weekend.

Hopefully it's a happy bomb and not some horrible eye-opening awareness like the other houses I've bombed. But I guess eye-opening awareness is always a good thing.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I think I got tricked into eating meat last night. I ordered a stuffed mushroom under the promise from the waiter and my vegetarian friend it was vegetarian. And it was, but not the beef gravy it was floating in. My friend noticed it and did this fake quick oh it's definitely not beef thing to subdue the situation, but it was. And I feel queesy today. So if you read I ate meat or "met up w someone", I think I did by accident. My someone is always battery operated. #celibuddy4life

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I'm not a vegenazi. I eat the ocassional marshmallow, sometimes don't ask if the Ceasar Salad dressing has real anchovies, have likely consumed rendered beef fat in fast food fries that are like McDonakds I don't know about (don't eat theirs anymore now that I know) but eating beef gravy is pretty f***ing close to the source. And I was too buzzed and swayed to please my toxic company in order to get through situation I just ate some of it. I really do feel gross. And have cramps. And not a lot of sleep. And crabby. And bloated. And crabby. Did I mention I'm crabby? If you are what you eat I am a crabby cow. May he rise from the ashes of my gut and make use if this situation and be an anomalous news item next crabby crown.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Every meditation session. Every single one. FINALLY getting somewhere. I know Rome wasn't built in a day but the slow drag on this issue is f***ing ridiculous.

http://news.yahoo.com/ivory-mafia-criminal-gangs-killing-africas-elephants-064727029.html

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I love the new MIM live...EXCEPT for the Kill Eat Kill Eat part. He's saying "CLEAT." (When you're meditating what's what you hear in bird.)

A CLEAT is the portion of a dock you tie a boat to, it keeps it from sailing.

In Tarot it's the cleat that ties the minions to the Devil calling the shots, not allowing them to sail their own journeys but to cower to the apron strings of the devil running their show.

So it startles my meditation and disrupts the original flow which is SAVE HER, the FALL AVER(iary) which is trying to free the bovine the angels. It's hard to explain but not my favorite edit.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I've decided to skip Six Dance Lessons in Six Weeks just because the acting looks horrible in the trailer and Archeology of a Woman for the same reason. It has a four minute trailer I could only watch half of, they must be the pity-the-little-guy nominations. Or I'm an asshole. This was left, I'll watch this instead today. My mom was telling me about how her mom always had her sit down and listen to Art Linkletter on the radio at lunch every day and that this is his son. I'll probably want to fact check that as my mom has a propensity to "make shit up" when the names sound the same and I learn it like fact. I was telling people I was Amish when we moved to California for years before the mother of a friend sat me down and explained what Amish people were, that it wasn't because my name was in the first part of Amish. My mom told me I was Amish. When you're 4 you believe those things, you know?

Dawn is at Mark's tonight, I asked her to bring home Birdman and Whiplash.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I feel like I'm in a perfect storm of confusion.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Happy Birthday Mozzy!