Symbolic Stuff Nobody Gives a Crap About

[CrystalGeezer]

How do I do it?

We are computers. Music is software. If you don't update your software your computer becomes useless, on the internet anyway.

Do you think Ronda Rousey is working out to exotic B-sides of The Kinks or Dr. Dog and Grizzly Bear? I play the same software she does so she plays my programs. The magicians hangup is not adapting to the times they themselves created.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I'm having flashbacks to the dreaded Sunshine Theater night, the furthest I've driven to see Moz. I had a bizarre altercation with Mel Torment before the show, unprovoked. THen during the show as I inched closer this really angry lispy gay guy spazzed out and kept calling security to kick me out, the greys were intensely weird that night, there was a security guard that looked like Santa Clause who kept telling me I was never going to touch Morrissey, it was f***ing weird. I decided Area 51 was the Sunshine Theater in Albuquerque. Only the movie Sunshine Cleaning made the whole experience better in my memory. It was CREEEEEEPY. I did like that one of the tour buses was playing Family Guy that Jon walked me past and kept trying to get me to tap on the window. And interrupt Family Guy? No way.

I don't know what year, the tour where he walked off the stage at Coachella. It was the next show I skipped bc I hate festivals.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

In Bird, the word "mini skirt" is the same as "I'm Christian." Not as in a 50 shades way, just in a worried-he's-an-atheist way. So the missed connection still yielded gold.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Omg I'm not an aspy. Aspy's don't work retail for fourteen years. Stop trying to figure me out, it's impossible. I'm everything.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I keep seeing signs Barney needs to go to the dentist. So I give him biscuits and he chews them on one side favoring the other, but I do that too. And when I look at his teeth they just look like they need to be cleaned, there's nothing absessy or anything going on in there. But he keeps giving me that look like "Pay attention to what I'm about to say." and all the signs after are "My teeth hurt." I guess a checkup wouldn't hurt. #stfrankftw

 

[CrystalGeezer]

So the Kardasians live in Kalabasas. What if life now is Billy Shakespeare's pop culture version of The Tempest and Caliban is represented by the useless fame-whore Kardasian family?

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I'm reading an interview in LA Record of Chris D. from the Flesh Eaters that is blowing my mind. He says his intent in A Minute To Pray was NOT to summon demons, but to SUPRESS them and everyone thought his work was the essence of evil while HE WAS TRYING TO SQUASH IT.


YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!!!!!!!!!!

 

[CrystalGeezer]

The illuminardi shops for their plain-looking, blend-in-with-the-commonfolk, black cars in Alhambra. (You're not supposed to park them all together. Jesus. )

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Every concert, every crown effects that deliberation. So sometimes there will be weeks where there are zero bands in town of interest, those are your sabbatical's as dictated by God. But other weeks you're out dancing and crowding EVERY NIGHT. And you get exhausted and tired, but God wants you to contribute you antlers/crown to the deliberation and you rarely know why though there will be hints. You'll be vacuuming and the hose will be an issue and it'll remind you of a trunk and you'll think, "Oh I must be working on poaching tonight" but it turns out it's the circus. This is my life.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

That plane wasn't mine.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Okay the other plane is mine.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

TBT! Who has ADHD?

That thing on my left forearm is a gold watch that my wrist was too tiny for. I was OBSESSED with having a watch, so I wore it on my arm since it kept falling off my wrist. My dad finally couldn't stand it and removed over half the links so it would fit normally.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Being at the zoo was like being in heaven to me, I just loved animals so much. I had a black eye because I punched myself in the face with the sidewalk riding a bike, I was accident prone...am accident prone.

Or there was a period where I didn't get a lot of sleep when I was a kid. Have you ever had a night terror?

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Brace yourself for the cacophonous madness that is my grandparents house that served as my early training for listening to two voices speak at the same time. You might wanna press record. I'm helping them get their daughter, my Aunt Julia signed up for disability. They have finally admitted she is nuts and are about to tell me all about it. Social Security instructed me to do it online.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

My new fantasy is an Iraqi man riding an albino moose seeking widespread ghost revenge in the form of an amazing patronus.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Triplets of Bellville used to be compartments of separate bits of symbology unrelated one scene to the next. Now it's just one ginormous beautiful metaphor other than the mother changing roles from task master to savior.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

My sister follows football. I can work a football game, () but my passion is baseball. Today as we closet-organized this news was on her TV she kept popping in to watch. Everyone is being traded like mad, I guess.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

On Monday morning I had a dream I had rented an apartment to our exterminator who always smells like pyrethrum and poison. I felt horrible and was bloated and convinced myself something was off so went to my urgent care clinic and waited forever, they took a liver panel and did other blood tests. All normal, even my HGA1C was normal. But the dream was so real, like I was Twinds and I invited poison to live in me. Maybe I was just dreaming of having the flu?

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Okay, logic and the real world aside, the other day i saw a sign that God wanted me to point out that I haven't got around to doing yet so I will now so I can go back to being the crazy lady instead of the rational, agitated lady. Because crazy is more fun.

So Sue has made a big production of assembling detailed Easter Baskets for years. I think it may be because she never had children or maybe lost a child or something, sometimes she gets teary while I'm helping her and I don't ask why, I just help. She spends a BOATLOAD on these baskets, maybe $100 a piece. One year we had 13 baskets to assemble, and color coordinating them is very important. Each child is assigned a color and must find 8 eggs of that color, that way every child get the same amount of eggs and it's all coordinated. China only churns out about 10 different colors, so one year we had to get creative and make a football-themed basket, a spiderman-themed basket, a gold basket, etc.. This year there are only 8 baskets, when the kids hit barmitzvah age they get Target and iTunes gift cards. This is a new rule. They're not even Jewish, well one of them is, he determined the new rule. ANYWAY, I was commenting to Sue that I thought the year we had 13, it must've been hard for the kids to distinguish the difference between the turquoise eggs and the teal eggs, that when they're together they look different but in a bush on their own they might look like the same color, to which Sue gave me that look, that GOD look and explained carefully, "When their mothers are with them they help them find the right color. THeir mothers help."

The metaphor was that Great Workers all have their own God Mother that lines them up with the news item their mothers knew they were responsible for. So my God Mother knew I wasn't part of the great ice runway landing, but that I WAS part of the Ford golf course landing. A rational, reasonable artist doesn't take credit for all the great stuff, just the great stuff they participated in, because they follow their mother's lead and find only their proper-colored eggs...in the news.