CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
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Symbolic Stuff Nobody Gives a Crap About
- Thread starter CrystalGeezer
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CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
My uncle just randomly dropped off the couch that was going to take all day Saturday to deal with which means I can have Barney blessed Saturday at Olvera Street. 
CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
They're naming candies after my birthplace because I'm sweet.
omg they're good too!
omg they're good too!
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CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
Oh! the pain in my arms!
Oh! the pain in my legs!
Oh yeah! and oh yeah!
And, Oh yeah! and oh yeah!
And, Oh! my shiftless body.
Oh! the pain in my legs!
Oh yeah! and oh yeah!
And, Oh yeah! and oh yeah!
And, Oh! my shiftless body.
CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
Though irreverent-seeming at first...
Upon closer inspection PROOF the ghost of Morrissey has visited my neighborhood. You have your kids working, the tambo-to-go in the basket is the giveaway.
Upon closer inspection PROOF the ghost of Morrissey has visited my neighborhood. You have your kids working, the tambo-to-go in the basket is the giveaway.
You see, Crystal, this post, it's why I really like you, it's just so nuts.Oh! the pain in my arms!
Oh! the pain in my legs!
Oh yeah! and oh yeah!
And, Oh yeah! and oh yeah!
And, Oh! my shiftless body.
Brilliant, but bonkers.
CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
You don't think I'll make it I never said I wanted to, well did I?
*spoiler alert* He does and comes back two days later.
CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
I'm exhausted, sun burnt, crabby, frustrated, look forward to mopping a floor next...but a cow said thank you today which makes it worth it. And she said she was scared. Scared and sacred have a way of getting mixed up in bird, she was both.
CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
I was pretty much obsessed with red shirt all day yesterday, that gaze... I am a creature of habit, I drink cans of beer, I think it tastes better out of a can, is colder. I saw this gal drinking a Budweiser out of a bottle on the dance floor and I randomly ordered a Red Stripe to grease the wheels. I couldn't tell if it was saying Red was a Spiret, or Red is your Spiret? My wheels were a tad too greased to pick up the essential Bird details.
I did narc out a guy acting bizarre on the floor. As I left Security said "Girrrrrrl, you started all kinds of trouble. That guy is PSYCHO!!!!! He was across the street screaming at empty cars like there were people in them he knew. Security said he tried climbing the wall back in the smoking section to escape from the man!! He was losing it. I don't like dancing with f***ed up people who don't know what planet they're even on stumbling all over the place, this guy was just possessed by something really dark and psycho. The security guys are awesome, they know me and always smile big which is heartwarming. I should learn their names, Jon taught me to call doormen "Boss" so I just call the head guy that.I'm glad I went afterall, on the drive home I got to see the waning pink moon everyone was talking about the other day. Nick Drake would've dug it.
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CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
In the world of weird metaphors...(and YES there's a difference between someone viewing the world in whimsical metaphor and a psycho screaming at empty cars in Echo Park)
The apartment complex next to us is owned by a strange man named Glen. (I have never once thought of taking a hatchet to his ear.) I was walking Barn this morning and passed his managers who were washing their car who asked if we had any vacancies. I said we had one almost filled (I think I'm about to sign two leases in a row to two women named Lucille, one in her 20s who refuses to go by Lucy and one in her 90s who may not be entirely aware her name is Lucille.
). ANyway, next door guy says if he gets any calls he'll send him my way. I asked him why he doesn;t take his FOR RENT signs down with their phone number on it and he explains that Glen wants them up at all times without explaining why. This creates a nightmare of extra work for the managers fielding calls of people pissed it looks like they're renting when they aren't, waste of time, blah... SO I told my boss and he laughed and said Glen was weird, that he'd bring it up to him because it makes the neighborhood look undesirable (or it makes TEN FORR and her SIGNS look CRAZY but GLEN KEEPS SAYING LETS KEEP THE SIGNS UP). Long story short, I think we're in a strange holding pattern of "Wait for it...wait for it...She's cooking up something..." So we wait.
She being God.
The apartment complex next to us is owned by a strange man named Glen. (I have never once thought of taking a hatchet to his ear.) I was walking Barn this morning and passed his managers who were washing their car who asked if we had any vacancies. I said we had one almost filled (I think I'm about to sign two leases in a row to two women named Lucille, one in her 20s who refuses to go by Lucy and one in her 90s who may not be entirely aware her name is Lucille.
). ANyway, next door guy says if he gets any calls he'll send him my way. I asked him why he doesn;t take his FOR RENT signs down with their phone number on it and he explains that Glen wants them up at all times without explaining why. This creates a nightmare of extra work for the managers fielding calls of people pissed it looks like they're renting when they aren't, waste of time, blah... SO I told my boss and he laughed and said Glen was weird, that he'd bring it up to him because it makes the neighborhood look undesirable (or it makes TEN FORR and her SIGNS look CRAZY but GLEN KEEPS SAYING LETS KEEP THE SIGNS UP). Long story short, I think we're in a strange holding pattern of "Wait for it...wait for it...She's cooking up something..." So we wait.She being God.
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CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
I have a closet in my dining area that is busting open constantly because it's overfilled with projects. OTHER people's projects that I've agreed to at one point or another. Make this for me, hold onto that for me, do this because I want you to, make this thing I need...I totally get when Pavement sings about architects not building a building until they're 50, I'm becoming crabby about other people's projects, I just want to do my own for a bit. I need to eulogize Mae, nobody else will. I make paintings and cutouts of people's passed pets all the flippin' time. MY TURN. No hair clip holder this week. I need to organize that closet first though because it keeps popping open. It's then that I start anagramming Anne Bolyn and whatnot instead of focusing on current life, old dead ghosts with all their skeletons in my closet.
CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
I had to pee like a racehorse and I don't think the vegan place has beer which is the point of taking the train. And I'm shy. Gotta go home, ghost of Holly scratching his head. Bye. You can come too. I'll squirrel you away in the penthouse of #9 like Anne Frank and open. Unless you're sick which I keep seeing. Then I'd let you rest. Beer talking.
Unless you're sick which I keep seeing. Then I'd let you rest. Beer talking.
CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
Silly lady Horus likes to play mind games in the subway.
CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
How can I resist?
I really want to see Michelle and Michael's new house they bought in Santa Monica, apparently it's darling. I love Mich, she introduced me to the Gentle Barn. She is a huge advocate of saving abandoned junk yard dogs, I think her boss runs a pretty successful nonprofit program. Mich is sweetness personified, her sister who I'm closer with on the other hand taught me the naughty expression that stuck of saying "I want to punch *soandso* in the face so bad!" She's feisty and hilarious.
CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
I'm CLASS LEVEL:EXPERT at getting people to tattle. Sometimes all it takes is a story with TMI...sometimes it takes a screengrab...
Sometimes all it takes is a story with TMI...sometimes it takes a screengrab...
CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
Trolls gotta troll. 
Enter the thread burier...which I'd totally be doing now in the pigsty if I didn't have three other real life projects going on. I'm cleaning my mom's car so it's drivable. She is sloppy and over the years has dumped milk-based frappuccinos in the front seat creating a rotten, sticky mess I'm cleaning. The car finally doesn't smell rotten. I'm using the little Barney Pee cleaner I bought, every tank of dirty water is black. That shit can't be healthy. Then I gotta mop Sue's floor. I would've done this this morning but I made a waste of a trip and forgot the keys at home because I am me and that shit happens all the time. Yay ADHD! Better read up on it.
Enter the thread burier...which I'd totally be doing now in the pigsty if I didn't have three other real life projects going on. I'm cleaning my mom's car so it's drivable. She is sloppy and over the years has dumped milk-based frappuccinos in the front seat creating a rotten, sticky mess I'm cleaning. The car finally doesn't smell rotten. I'm using the little Barney Pee cleaner I bought, every tank of dirty water is black. That shit can't be healthy. Then I gotta mop Sue's floor. I would've done this this morning but I made a waste of a trip and forgot the keys at home because I am me and that shit happens all the time. Yay ADHD! Better read up on it.
CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
Lucky. I think in solidarity you should roll out of bed and walk up that steep-ass hill to get your smoothie. Noooooo, go back to bed.
Noooooo, go back to bed.
CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
Did I say how high too? Hmmmmm?
CrystalGeezer
My secret's my enzyme.
OMG a RAD SIGNATURE!!!!!!! 33 and 5 putting up the wall that reads England. Maisey's working!
http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/mlb-b...-with-incredible-running-catch-073826298.html
http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/mlb-b...-with-incredible-running-catch-073826298.html
Do you think some people become like walking disaster areas?Trolls gotta troll.
You say that 'shit happens all the time'.
I have a friend who's like forever losing her house keys, mobiles, bags or whatever.
Always crashing her car. Moving homes too much.
Only last night I was called out to rescue her, keyless and mobile-less.
However, she is a good friend and I love her very much.
I bet you're not as bad as her.
I feel like my life's a car crash too sometimes.
But not all of the time.
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