I will never marry

[AtWarWithGod]

My partner of three years just discreetly told me not propose this saturday.

Any thoughts ?

[Dave]

Talk to them about the future of your relationship.

[AtWarWithGod]

Talk to them about the future of your relationship.

Well we are both off to uni this September, And I wanted to propose so she knew I truly Loved her and desired no other. So what she wants I am unsure, and I really can't face her about it because she tells me that she does love me? Maybe I am more emotionally ready and mature for that commitment?

[Dave]

I sent a pm

[Media Whore]

My partner of three years just discreetly told me not propose this saturday.

Any thoughts ?

Don't propose.

Well we are both off to uni this September, And I wanted to propose so she knew I truly Loved her and desired no other. So what she wants I am unsure, and I really can't face her about it because she tells me that she does love me? Maybe I am more emotionally ready and mature for that commitment?

So you are 17? 18? It sounds like she understands that at your age and with a life marker that you are about to experience that people change. That you are both in the stage in your life where you are growing and learning about life and yourself. Why get married now anyway? What is the rush?

If you can't face her to ask her what her life goals, priorities and intentions are then perhaps you are not as mature as you think you are. How can you even think about marriage and all that goes along with it when you can't even have a conversation with the person you love?

So you love her and you desire no other. How do you know? What life experience do you bring? What do you have to offer? What will getting married accomplish? (These are not accusatory questions but rather things for you to consider). And I'm sorry to say that at 18 you can't even begin to know all the things you don't know. Physiologically your brain hasn't fully developed yet. If you are to be together for the rest of your lives then you will. If you are not to be, then marriage won't stop the end of your relationship from happening, it will only delay it and cause a multitude of problems and complications along with it. Is part of your wishing to propose a way to hold on to what you have? Do you fear things will change come September and so this is a way to ensure you will be together? If it is, decisions motivated by fear are always to treated with caution.

[Media Whore]

I sent a pm

Aww, Dave. You spoilsport.

[AtWarWithGod]

Don't propose.



So you are 17? 18? It sounds like she understands that at your age and with a life marker that you are about to experience that people change. That you are both in the stage in your life where you are growing and learning about life and yourself. Why get married now anyway? What is the rush?

If you can't face her to ask her what her life goals, priorities and intentions are then perhaps you are not as mature as you think you are. How can you even think about marriage and all that goes along with it when you can't even have a conversation with the person you love?

So you love her and you desire no other. How do you know? What life experience do you bring? What do you have to offer? What will getting married accomplish? (These are not accusatory questions but rather things for you to consider). And I'm sorry to say that at 18 you can't even begin to know all the things you don't know. Physiologically your brain hasn't fully developed yet. If you are to be together for the rest of your lives then you will. If you are not to be, then marriage won't stop the end of your relationship from happening, it will only delay it and cause a multitude of problems and complications along with it. Is part of your wishing to propose a way to hold on to what you have? Do you fear things will change come September and so this is a way to ensure you will be together? If it is, decisions motivated by fear are always to treated with caution.

Sorry I should of clarified that I wouldn't want to marry for another 5-8 years! I can face her it's just I wouldn't be able to face her right this second to ask her, But after serious consideration I am going to continue with our day out on Saturday and then tell her I WAS going to propose but decided not to out of respect, I will also tell her why I wanted to propose. Well from my perspective I can say that I desire no other because Everyone else I know does not understand me, have the same interests or views. with that being said, I have came across other females who are close or more closer to what I find appealing , and they have stirred no inside emotions. I know it won't stop it if it were all to end, It was just so she knew where we stood. I have considered the fact maybe it would of been a selfish act, But I would never force anyone into anything which is why I will retract my proposal out of respect, love and care for her.

I thank you for your reply, and the time you took out to write it (Y)

[Media Whore]

That's ok. You're welcome.

5-8 years is a long time.

8 years ago, where did you think you would be today? Are you still the same person you were 5 years ago? Did you think the same? React in the same way you would to the same things now? Have the same goals for your life? So much can happen. So much can change; circumstances, views, passions. Keep marriage in the back of your mind and if you are still together in a few years then revisit the idea again. Maybe then she will be ready for such a commitment. And it is not immature to not wanting to commit to marriage, it is maturity to know it is an awfully big step that carries a great deal of responsibility and to some degree, limitations on one's freedoms.

[Will_Never_Marry]

I will never marry.

Neither will I.

No need to be sad about it.

[Oh my god, it's Robby!]

[Will_Never_Marry]

Are you laughing at me?

[Oh my god, it's Robby!]

Are you laughing at me?

no, with you?

[Will_Never_Marry]

Oh, then that's okay

[mcrickson]

I feel like there are better places you could ask for advice on this..perhaps friends or family members who know both you and your partner well? Either way, best of luck with your situation.