Wow, lots of excellent suggestions here
I woke up with these ideas
Parallel Parking Fail: *disapprovingly* "The edges are no longer parallel"
On a road filled with potholes: "Be careful when you drive on those old broken stones because they are my feelings."
When the street people clean your windshield: "We've never seen a Keener window-cleaner "
When switching to the multilingual function: "I still cannot speak French"
When a taxi speeds past: "The motion of taxis excites me"
When you're stuck behind a slow moving taxi: "Taxi drivers never stop talking"
Nearing Home: *sigh* "Why is the last mile the hardest mile?"
Beginning your journey: "Take me anywhere, I don't care"