Liverpool FC Jokes

Thieves broke into Maine Road last night & stole something from every room except the canteen. That's why they left without any cups.

If you are going to make a feeble attempt in redressing the balance, at least bring the jokes up to date:rolleyes:
City haven't played at Maine Road since May 2003:crazy:

Jukebox Jury
 
there is no difference between the two stadiums!
you didn't win at Maine Road, nor have you won at Eastlands. It really doesn't matter.

All the Man city jokes are old but still they go on.
 
Obsessed?:squiffy:
Not really, I just received the jokes as text messages and thought I'd post them here for others to laugh at.



Thanks, I didn't realise 'you' had won the reserves league 16 times. I shall sleep better knowing that.
Congratualtions on a great history. But that means nothing right now. It doesn't get you in the 4th round of the FA Cup, or the semi finals of the League Cup, the final stages of the Chumps League and nor does it guarentee 'you' a top 4 place in the Prem come May.
So enjoy your evening and rather than sit there contemplating whether this is the worst Liverpool team ever over the past 50 years, just get the DVD out and watch those 15 charity shield victories with red tinted specs:lbf:

Jukebox Jury

Glad to know you'll have a good nights sleep tonight and thanks for the kind words on the clubs success and "great history"
I never said anything about this season.
Thanks for the advice about watching the 15 charity shield victories on DVD but I've most of them on VHS and the the video is on the blink so I'll give that a miss.

pardon me for bringing this to your attention, but I think you will find another Lancashire club has also won the Championship / Premier League 18 times (and that's a fact:thumb:)

Another fact is that Liverpool have never won the title since the back pass to the goalie (who could then pick the ball up) was banned:lbf:

Jukebox Jury

No problem,I don't care to much for that other "Lancashire club" that you speak of but it amazes me why supporters of another Lancashire club are obsessed by them.
Thanks for pointing that out about the last time Liverpool won the title but at least we are able to watch it back in colour with our "red tinted specs"

Glory hunter ^

Póg mo thóin.
 
A CHARITY APPEAL IN AID OF THE TERRIBLE EVENTS OF WEDNESDAY....

Shocked, devastated, crushed. No hope, no money, no future. Everything gone, nothing left, noone can help. Its a disaster of catastrophic proportions.














Please send what you can to LFC Anfield formerly a big club appeal or to:
www.keeprafa@anfield/seasonoverinjan.co.uk
 
Togo bus: 200 attempts and only 3 shots on target....


police have now moved their suspicions towards Emile Heskey.
 
Maine Road had Oasis:thumb:

Eastlands U2:(

Maine Road had Oasis twice, Eastlands three times.
Your point is?

I never said anything about this season.




No problem,I don't care to much for that other "Lancashire club" that you speak of but it amazes me why supporters of another Lancashire club are obsessed by them.

I know you didn't mention this season - and with good reason:mock:.....I'd rather hear your views on this season rather than cutting and pasting Wiki, telling me what I already know (apart from winning the reserves 16 times:lbf:)

There's no balance to redress because your 'jokes' are shiiiiite.

I'm glad they are shite, at least it has rankled enough people on here, so much so that I have received a text message from a Liverpool fan saying ''I have received 4 text messages about a thread you have made''.
What a bunch of squealers. If this was happening to ManU or Leeds (as it has happened) you'd be cracking jokes galore. City were in Division three 10 years ago and I received all sorts of shit jokes on a daily basis...... but do you know what???? I laughed along with them...... where is the famous Merseyside humour? Or are you all Scandinavian Koppites?:rolleyes:
Do you really believe you have a devine right not to have a shit season?:squiffy: and when you do be immune from piss taking?

Jukebox Jury
 
JJ started it!!!!!!

Emmanuel Adebayor risked the wrath of Manchester City fans by conducting a television interview wearing an Arsenal T-shirt.

The City striker appeared on Sky Sports news to describe the horrific events in Angloa last Friday night when Togo's team bus was attacked by gunmen.

Three officials were killed and several players injured in the attack - prompting Togo to withdraw from the African Cup of Nations.

Adebayor, who has been given leave by City to spend time with his family following the tragedy, looked clearly traumatised as he spoke to a tv interviewer.

My advice is that man city fans should focus on there own team, their own players and their own problems.
what happened to the Togo team is truely shocking. Liverpool having a bad season is for us to contend with. Man city nearly having a player killed is a more worthy of your time. He is your player.

What was your point of mentioning he was wearing an Arsenal shirt? I couldn't care less what he was wearing.
Am I supposed to sit here all night only thinking about what happened to the Togo team and only focusing on tomorrows game to the real Liverpool people's club? :rolleyes:
And as for ''my own clubs problems''..... hhhmmmmm maybe I shall spend the next hour wondering which player we can afford. Oh bollocks, we can afford them all:guitar:

Jukebox Jury
 
Manure and Leeds are hated.
you should know that JJ, hence why jokes about them are funny and enjoyed by many.
 
What was your point of mentioning he was wearing an Arsenal shirt? I couldn't care less what he was wearing.
Am I supposed to sit here all night only thinking about what happened to the Togo team and only focusing on tomorrows game to the real Liverpool people's club? :rolleyes:

Jukebox Jury

It's hilarious that he's wearing the shirt of his previous team. who does that?
seriously, what next.... Tevez walking around Manchester in a West Ham shirt and then turning up for an interview in a manure shirt:crazy:

as for the Oasis reference, they were the only good thing to watch back then and now nothing.
 
hmmm did Adebayor actually ran the length of the bus to celebrate in front of the Gunners last Saturday as well then?
 
Manure and Leeds are hated.
you should know that JJ, hence why jokes about them are funny and enjoyed by many.

So if I was a ManU fan posting this thread it would have been acceptable to you as they ''hate'' you?

It's hilarious that he's wearing the shirt of his previous team. who does that?
seriously, what next.... Tevez walking around Manchester in a West Ham shirt and then turning up for an interview in a manure shirt:crazy:

So, a bloke is on a coach which gets ambushed. Right in front of his eyes (and according to reports, in his arms) two colleagues and the driver die under a hail of machine guns. The bloke himself has to take cover and for many minutes fears for his own life.
The bloke, as captain of the team, (all of whom have gone through emotional hell) makes a statement on camera, wearing the shirt of another football team than the one he currently plays for.

Am I really supposed to get worked up because this bloke who has experienced this horrific incident, is wearing the shirt of his previous team? Shame on you lainey for even bringing that up. But hey! As long as you thought it was hilarious, then that's all right:rolleyes:

Jukebox Jury
 
hmmm did Adebayor actually ran the length of the bus to celebrate in front of the Gunners last Saturday as well then?

This thread is about Liverpool FC jokes, if you wanna start with these jokes (and yes, I recieved plenty), then start your own thread;)

Jukebox Jury
 
I know you didn't mention this season - and with good reason:mock:.....I'd rather hear your views on this season rather than cutting and pasting Wiki, telling me what I already know (apart from winning the reserves 16 times:lbf:)
Jukebox Jury

I'm very disapointed with the way the team have played this season.I didn't cut and paste Wiki it was from a Liverpool fans website and the post wasn't aimed at teaching you something but I'm glad it did.:)

All the best.:thumb:
 
Well, it seems by JJ mainly

When have I said I hate LFC? I never have.
So because I am cracking jokes about LFC that means I hate them?

I am merely making fun at the expense of the situation that LFC currently finds themselves in.
As stated before, when City were in division three, i received no end of jip from all corners....but us City fans laughed along with them..... every dog has it's day....and now it's LFC's turn and their fans (or at least on this site) are all up in arms freaking out. 'How dare you make jokes of LFC'.:rolleyes:
lainey - do you feel LFC - in their current situation - should be immune to having jokes made about the team? If so,.....why?

Jukebox Jury
 
This thread is about Liverpool FC jokes, if you wanna start with these jokes (and yes, I recieved plenty), then start your own thread;)

Jukebox Jury

Sorry Kewpie.;)

I was only redressing the balance.

Now for some more of those Haiti jokes... No I'm not going there
 
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