LOLCat Bible

[Dave]

OH HAI!



sample...

Paffshcal's Wayjjur

Paffshcal wus clever kitteh hu wus laik: "I am not knoin if teh Ceiling Cat is reel." Oh noes! But Paffshcal was thinkin an thinkin, an he wus laik "If I is beleefin in teh Ceiling Cat, and he is reel, I will be gettin cheezburger. But if I has no beleefin in teh Ceiling Cat, and he is reel, I will be getting pwned. If there no Ceiling Cat, no matter anywai. I think I is beleefin in teh Ceiling Cat."

[jamescagney]

I love Lolcat Genesis:

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Genesis_1

[Raised on prisoner's aid]

hahahahahaha great find!

[Pachinko]

I must have this book.

[jamescagney]

I must have this book.

You can has book.

[Pachinko]

You can has book.

We can't has book. It's not released yet.

[snowfallsoon]

You can has book.

No no it's 'You can haz book'

Maybe, what do I know. I want the book too.

[CrystalGeezer]

This is the Hebrew letter Mem. It kinda looks like a J. It also is the letter assigned to the Death card in the tarot. But don’t think death as in dying, think death as in life. Elizabeth Haich has a very nice treatment of the death card in her book Wisdom of the Tarot, saying of the skeleton that holds an inverted scythe which resembles the mem, “The skeleton is nothing other than man’s spirit. When the spirit embodied itself in matter and was born as a human being, it was forced to die into matter. It could no longer manifest it’s spiritual qualities, it could no longer be its own spiritual LIFE. It had to bear the qualities of the body and could manifest itself only to a very limited extent through the mortal frame.” She goes on to say a lot more on the subject, I highly recommend this book to any seeker or whatever.



This is the Hebrew letter Gimel. It kinda looks like the top of an M that has a fish under it. Gimel is assigned to the Queen card in the tarot. Haich writes “She wears a triple-pointed crown on her head. This denotes that she is queen of three aspects of life: birth, life and death. It also means she reigns over space, over the three dimensions. She is ruler of the whole cosmos, the whole universe. She is the queen of heaven, that aspect of God which is procreative and feminine : NATURE.”

So put the two together and you have The Queen is Dead. But ironically, she isn’t, she is alive. The addition of the little fish indicates that Pisces is lingering, or maybe Pisces is dead and Aquarius is ruling, I dunno. One theory is the story of two Christians meeting in the desert. Not wanting to announce their faith, one draws one half of the fish in the sand as a secret. If the other person completes the fish by drawing the other half, they know they are in good company. It’s a secret handshake sort of thing…permanently etched in the sands of…a beach?

[Dave]

This is the Hebrew letter Mem. It kinda looks like a J. It also is the letter assigned to the Death card in the tarot. But don’t think death as in dying, think death as in life. Elizabeth Haich has a very nice treatment of the death card in her book Wisdom of the Tarot, saying of the skeleton that holds an inverted scythe which resembles the mem, “The skeleton is nothing other than man’s spirit. When the spirit embodied itself in matter and was born as a human being, it was forced to die into matter. It could no longer manifest it’s spiritual qualities, it could no longer be its own spiritual LIFE. It had to bear the qualities of the body and could manifest itself only to a very limited extent through the mortal frame.” She goes on to say a lot more on the subject, I highly recommend this book to any seeker or whatever.



This is the Hebrew letter Gimel. It kinda looks like the top of an M that has a fish under it. Gimel is assigned to the Queen card in the tarot. Haich writes “She wears a triple-pointed crown on her head. This denotes that she is queen of three aspects of life: birth, life and death. It also means she reigns over space, over the three dimensions. She is ruler of the whole cosmos, the whole universe. She is the queen of heaven, that aspect of God which is procreative and feminine : NATURE.”

So put the two together and you have The Queen is Dead. But ironically, she isn’t, she is alive. The addition of the little fish indicates that Pisces is lingering, or maybe Pisces is dead and Aquarius is ruling, I dunno. One theory is the story of two Christians meeting in the desert. Not wanting to announce their faith, one draws one half of the fish in the sand as a secret. If the other person completes the fish by drawing the other half, they know they are in good company. It’s a secret handshake sort of thing…permanently etched in the sands of…a beach?

[Corrissey]

I must haz dis baible!

[CrystalGeezer]

I must haz dis baible!

Best. Meme. Evar.


Actually, I got to thinking about it after watching The Room about three too many times with my friends. (If you haven't seen it, I recommend it, it's the worst movie of all time.) One of the jokes on the Riff Tracks version, the guys who did Mystery Science Theater, is the fact that the main character "Johnny" greets inanimate objects by saying "Oh hi, telephone." In perhaps the most crucial scene that makes it the worst movie ever, he laments that Lisa, his fiance, lied about him beating her up then switches abruptly to his friend Mark. Found on imbd in memorable quotes:

"I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshit! I did not hit her! I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark."

AND I noticed that the newscasters for the CBS Evening News when reporting on the ravages of Haiti are standing in front of a collapsed building, the only letters showing are "OHI" the I actually being an A I think that is covered a bit making it look like an I. Anyway, interesting observations. Maybe "O hai" is like God saying PAY ATTENTION PEOPLE.

[CrystalGeezer]

Took a bus straight to Baltimore
On the way he took a nap
Dropped off a note that said "I'm giving this note back"
PS- There's a lot going on underneath
There's roots there's pipes, and there's drainage leaks
You're on, you're wrong, Ohio
Truly sorry, I see clearly
Calmly crashing, I pace faster than anyone
Hinges rusting, they swing louder than anything
Truly lonely this place is flatter than it seems
I'm upset, and I leave the door open wide
Our hearts are used up, cracked and dry
Pulled the scabs off of regrets
We haven't learned to eat our conscience yet
Truly sorry, I see clearly
Hardly hoping, I spend it all on game machines
Calmly crashing, I pace and I figure it out again
One hand clapping, awake but napping
Rows of lights to illuminate lines
Why don't they turn them off and let us see night
Drove crazed grooming my lies
You can't look in on one way eyes, Ohio

[Dave]

Cat is saying, "that's right, it's a pelican. next?"

[Black Cloud]

There's a guy with Morrissey's name living in Ojai.
That's totally a sign.