This is why I love sex...

[Barking]

I scanned that sentence in haste and was hit by a mental picture of Morrissey masturbating whilst singing. He was singing Friday Mourning. A song which is now ruined for me.

And who's to say he doesn't? It's perfect Morrissey wanking material that one! Tearful girlie bye bye scene. Wank wank wank. Perhaps he even pictures the shangrilas whilst doing it. I wouldn't be surprised...Such imagination...While Jake, Jim or Jasper, waiting for him in his hot water bottle cover, suspects absolutely nothing... Morrissey, really. Turn it down a bit.


edit: Silke's"Only because she decided to date three guys does not mean that she has to let any of those three into her knickers if they fart into her face" didn't create any kind of mental picture for anybody?

raises paw

 

[The Cat's Mother]

And who's to say he doesn't? It's perfect Morrissey wanking material that one! Tearful girlie bye bye scene. Wank wank wank. Perhaps he even pictures the shangrilas whilst doing it. I wouldn't be surprised...Such imagination...While Jake, Jim or Jasper, waiting for him in his hot water bottle cover, suspects absolutely nothing... Morrissey, really. Turn it down a bit.

It might explain why that song starts off really well and then goes a bit wonky. Big fat juicy opener, a Dame Shirley of a chorus.... then the dacryphilia hits in and Alain finds himself on a tea break.

 

[Barking]

Thanks Cat. Had to google "dacryphilia" and am now reading the BDSM wiki page. Lovely pics, especially the knives one.

...Who put the M in BDSM?
The use of safewords is all very well but sadly with a deaf old person like him you can scream TURNIP! all you like, there's no stopping him. Sad, really, when everyone else's on a tea break he carries on anyway from his own arousal...

...Apart from that, have you ever considered getting a job in Education? Your knowledge is so vast; and you'd make a swell teacher. Primary school canteen lady perhaps? "And now children, here's how to use a spoon properly."

 

[Silke]

edit: Silke's"Only because she decided to date three guys does not mean that she has to let any of those three into her knickers if they fart into her face" didn't create any kind of mental picture for anybody?

raises paw

Typical. You could have imagined something when you read "naturally glued together", but did you do so? No. :

The book that bored wrote about would make a really good read for you on New Year's Eve. So much better than obsessing about Morrissey's past friends. Or current ones. By the way, was this your outing above? Did you come out of some closet that we did not know about yet?

For the new year I'd like to have a smilie that looks up and whistles. I need this. I used to use the other one that looks up and does not whistle instead, but it does not carry the meaning that I mean. You know, this one. It is boring, it does not whistle.

 

[Barking]

Typical. You could have imagined something when you read "naturally glued together", but did you do so? No. :

The book that bored wrote about would make a really good read for you on New Year's Eve. So much better than obsessing about Morrissey's past friends. Or current ones. By the way, was this your outing above? Did you come out of some closet that we did not know about yet?

For the new year I'd like to have a smilie that looks up and whistles. I need this. I used to use the other one that looks up and does not whistle instead, but it does not carry the meaning that I mean. You know, this one. It is boring, it does not whistle.

well I'm planning to have a Morrissey-free 2010 I'll have you know hence this current love fest, not to regret anything. But it's like watching a guy setting himself on fire on a plane with Snooty as the air hostess, I can't stop watching. Plus I'm stressed at the moment. (Morrissey is the only person who doesn't stress when he's virtually homeless. It helps to have cash...)

Hell, why am I even apologizing?

Closet? Hmmmmmm no, none I can think of...

I don't have time to read I'm to busy looking for a place to live and surfing Msolo.

I personally think the smiley smiles too much. (Me I don't smile when I roll my eyes!)

 

[The Cat's Mother]

Thanks Cat. Had to google "dacryphilia" and am now reading the BDSM wiki page. Lovely pics, especially the knives one.

...Who put the M in BDSM?
The use of safewords is all very well but sadly with a deaf old person like him you can scream TURNIP! all you like, there's no stopping him. Sad, really, when everyone else's on a tea break he carries on anyway from his own arousal...

...Apart from that, have you ever considered getting a job in Education? Your knowledge is so vast; and you'd make a swell teacher. Primary school canteen lady perhaps? "And now children, here's how to use a spoon properly."

I vaguely remember writing RPG as an S&M dom who gave a client the safe word "harbour", which was (amongst the orgiastic cries echoing around the dungeon) misheard as "harder!". Ah, happy early intranet days....

If Morrissey doesn't call his next live DVD "Scream Turnip All You Like" he's quite genuinely lost the plot.

My sister is a school dinner lady. Those in her care who cannot be persuaded to use a soup spoon in the correct fashion are brought to my garden for rendering down for hen food. Even in 2009, there must be standards.

 

[jamescagney]

And who's to say he doesn't? It's perfect Morrissey wanking material that one! Tearful girlie bye bye scene. Wank wank wank.

It doesn't really make that noise, does it?

If it does, you may be doing it wrong.

Our theory is that when M does it, it sounds like an oboe. That's why you hear an oboe creeping in during the naughty bits of his songs like "It's not your birthday anymore" and "Whatever happens, I love you." Or rather, we assume it's Boz playing an an oboe, but it's really just emanating from His groin. Listen for it, it makes the songs more interesting.

The use of safewords is all very well but sadly with a deaf old person like him you can scream TURNIP! all you like, there's no stopping him.

Oh, don't worry, he'll be wearing his hearing aid.

What, you thought that was just a prop?

Does this mean I'm gonna have a shitty 2010 or something?

All signs point to "yes."

 

[The Cat's Mother]

It doesn't really make that noise, does it?

If it does, you may be doing it wrong.

This calls for a poll. Wankwankwank, fappfappfapp, slickslapslick....?

 

[Barking]

All signs point to "yes."

Well if that includes vomiting in TCM's garden for poultry nurishment, I'll consider 2010 a very good year actually. I'm not fussy. But thanks for your kind encouraging words.

All the signs before pointed to, "Yes, yes, yes, Oooooooooooooooooh yes, yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes! -oboe-).

So things are defo looking up.

(How 'bout, "schlokschlokschlokschlok"?)

 

[jamescagney]

This calls for a poll. Wankwankwank, fappfappfapp, slickslapslick....?

I'm sure many a young kid (girls especially) have heard people making the "pppthwt pppthwt pppthwt" noise with their mouths to represent ejaculation, and were surprised in real life to find it doesn't actually make that sound!

I've also heard that the output is sometimes described as being like "jelly," and as a result some girls were picturing it as being purple like grape jelly!

And I've read that some boys, when doing it, um, "Solow" for the first time, were scared they had broken something when it all comes out.

Ah, good times.

 

[The Cat's Mother]

I'm sure many a young kid (girls especially) have heard people making the "pppthwt pppthwt pppthwt" noise with their mouths to represent ejaculation, and were surprised in real life to find it doesn't actually make that sound!

I've also heard that the output is sometimes described as being like "jelly," and as a result some girls were picturing it as being purple like grape jelly!

And I've read that some boys, when doing it, um, "Solow" for the first time, were scared they had broken something when it all comes out.

Ah, good times.

I honestly can't remember trying to impersonate wank noises when I were a lass. Must've grown up in more innocent times.

Jelly/jam/(jello?)..... our division by a common language has much to answer for when it comes to imagery...

 

[mick ransommich]

'I honestly can't remember trying to impersonate wank noises when I were a lass.'

I'm betting nobody has ever uttered this sentence - Ever

 

[Silke]

well I'm planning to have a Morrissey-free 2010 I'll have you know hence this current love fest, not to regret anything. But it's like watching a guy setting himself on fire on a plane with Snooty as the air hostess, I can't stop watching. Plus I'm stressed at the moment. (Morrissey is the only person who doesn't stress when he's virtually homeless. It helps to have cash...)

I know the feeling. We need to move on. He is currently sitting at a sunny beach with his PA and Julia on one side and his mother on the other anyway, while we are here in wintery Europe and enjoying sex in bright candle light.

Well if that includes vomiting in TCM's garden for poultry nurishment, I'll consider 2010 a very good year actually. I'm not fussy. But thanks for your kind encouraging words.

All the signs before pointed to, "Yes, yes, yes, Oooooooooooooooooh yes, yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes! -oboe-).

So are you back to talk about sex with another person or are you still on about this other stuff?

Good luck in finding this new place to have lovely, cosy hours at.

 

[therightone]

no comment

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Where was I during the onomonapeic masturbation discussions? I hate when hanging out with my friends cuts into funtiem internettiemz.

 

[Barking]

while we are here in wintery Europe and enjoying sex in bright candle light.

Is this what we're doing? I thought we were just surfing the 'net!

http://www.mykarmasutrabuddy.com/[/QUOTE]

thankyouthankyouthankyou!

 

[therightone]

no comment

 

[Barking]

Mypleasure...and theirs...

Yes I see you're troubled, you can't quote properly anymore.

shame they haven't got animals. I wonder what a chihuahua / great Dane combination would look like for the pile driver...

 

[Silke]

Is this what we're doing? I thought we were just surfing the 'net!

http://www.mykarmasutrabuddy.com/

I was j-o-k-i-n-g.

The buddies are fun to watch, thank you. I think I'll stick to long walks, yoga and swimming.