Morrissey solo journal thingie (mainly suzannes)

[drunken demands]

I just read the post about the journal link on the main page. So that's what that is all about. I never knew what the hell that journal link was for. I was always too lazy to click on it and find out.

So I started reading some of the journal posts, mostly Suzanne's. There was almost 300 of them so I figured she must be pretty dedicated. All in all, it was rather interesting. I could relate.

Suzanne, you go on the Rufus board too? I check it from time to time. Lovely people and all but everyone's a little too happy. I start hyperventilating if I'm on there too long. They make me feel old with a shrunken heart.

Anyway, thanks for the entertainment. I have nothing else to do on a Friday night. Feel free to feel sorry for me.

[An Insult A Day Keeps The Esteem At Bay]

Mmm, Rufus. Anyways, I tried reading Suzanne's journal a few times but it always put me to sleep. And no, it didn't lull me into dreamland, it gave me nightmares.

> I just read the post about the journal link on the main page. So that's
> what that is all about. I never knew what the hell that journal link was
> for. I was always too lazy to click on it and find out.

> So I started reading some of the journal posts, mostly Suzanne's. There
> was almost 300 of them so I figured she must be pretty dedicated. All in
> all, it was rather interesting. I could relate.

> Suzanne, you go on the Rufus board too? I check it from time to time.
> Lovely people and all but everyone's a little too happy. I start
> hyperventilating if I'm on there too long. They make me feel old with a
> shrunken heart.

> Anyway, thanks for the entertainment. I have nothing else to do on a
> Friday night. Feel free to feel sorry for me.

[suzanne]

> I just read the post about the journal link on the main page. So that's
> what that is all about. I never knew what the hell that journal link was
> for. I was always too lazy to click on it and find out.

ugggghhh

well, i could do without that. i liked it being on its own island.

> So I started reading some of the journal posts, mostly Suzanne's. There
> was almost 300 of them so I figured she must be pretty dedicated. All in
> all, it was rather interesting. I could relate.

y'know, i'm trying to figure out exactly what i'm dedicated to as you say. i don't even know what my aim is. i don't think i have one. i don't think i have an aim in anything i do. there is no reason to write, and there is no reason to stop.

> Suzanne, you go on the Rufus board too? I check it from time to time.
> Lovely people and all but everyone's a little too happy. I start
> hyperventilating if I'm on there too long. They make me feel old with a
> shrunken heart.

i've discovered it recently. contributed a tiny bit. i don't know how i feel about them. there are some positives. they aren't a bunch of sick retards who have IQ's of a peanut. I find myself actually wanting to be nice to them. which, translates into: i don't exactly know what to say around them.

not in a bad way that i want to attack and shred. more like finding the note of what they might find of interest.

y'see with journals, you don't have to worry about that. if anyone reads it, it's usually because they are bored shitless.

heh..i guess i'm sort of like the resident hermit!

but it's so weird ya know...i look at them in their obsessiveness and even though i like Rufus Wainwright, i don't delve that far, and i'm thinking about my equivalency here....and i do feel OLD. A few years ago, i would not have questioned it anywhere with anyone. i suppose that's what happens when you are subjected to the boredom of adulthood for too long. for a while, you fight. and then, you start thinking, "oh well...."

but hey, i was thinking today how in the past i would write these embarassingly outlandish and "woe is me!" emails to people i knew, and even to those i barely knew, and sat around and whined all day to people who would listen. i've stopped it pretty much, more of the emails than the speaking. at least i have the journal to thank for that. i vent, and i behave in a more normal fashion.
or at least i think. it's a theory, unless there is something else out there that has sucked the will out of that part of me. i'm willing to entertain that as well.

> Anyway, thanks for the entertainment. I have nothing else to do on a
> Friday night. Feel free to feel sorry for me.

i didn't do anything. i stood around with a friend waiting for another friend, for a show that was sold out. i saw Pollock instead. I feel drained.

[drunken demands]

> y'know, i'm trying to figure out exactly what i'm dedicated to as you say.
> i don't even know what my aim is. i don't think i have one. i don't think
> i have an aim in anything i do. there is no reason to write, and there is
> no reason to stop.

That's life for you.

> i've discovered it recently. contributed a tiny bit. i don't know how i
> feel about them. there are some positives. they aren't a bunch of sick
> retards who have IQ's of a peanut. I find myself actually wanting to be
> nice to them. which, translates into: i don't exactly know what to say
> around them.

I'm not brave enough to post on there. They're all so jubilant I don't want to bring the roof crashing in or anything.

Not that I want to be 16 again. Still there is something to be said about being young, hopeful, and energetic about life.

I'm going to a Rufus show in February. I wonder what that experience will be like. Have you seen him live at all? His Poses album got under my skin so I have to make the trek.

> not in a bad way that i want to attack and shred. more like finding the
> note of what they might find of interest.

Did you manage it?

> y'see with journals, you don't have to worry about that. if anyone reads
> it, it's usually because they are bored shitless.

Um yeah that's where I come in

> i didn't do anything. i stood around with a friend waiting for another
> friend, for a show that was sold out. i saw Pollock instead. I feel
> drained.

That almost sounds exciting. Here's my Friday night. 1. Get on internet, realize there is nothing to look at and sign off. (Repeat 3 times throughout the night) 2. Talk to friend on phone. Go back to step 1.

[suzanne]

> That's life for you.

yeah, you'd think that there would be some sort of purpose in living, right?

> I'm not brave enough to post on there. They're all so jubilant I don't
> want to bring the roof crashing in or anything.

i feel like i'd easily slip through the cracks there. just like here, actually, but worse.

> Not that I want to be 16 again. Still there is something to be said about
> being young, hopeful, and energetic about life.

yeah, it does make a difference. if nothing more than when you are young and are subjected to everyone else's wishes, you keep hoping that one day your own decisions will mean something, and suddenly, the world will crack wide open for you because you will be free. and all you have to do is hold out.

> I'm going to a Rufus show in February. I wonder what that experience will
> be like. Have you seen him live at all? His Poses album got under my skin
> so I have to make the trek.

no, i haven't seen him live. i had the chance to once. before his first album even came out, he played at SXSW. i recognized the name, of course, because i saw his dad Loudon Wainwright play there the year before and i took a liking for it.

however, you know what it's like being hopeful about life, and that was when i was trying to do something in music, and if i'm not mistaken, that was a night that i was trying to play music on a street corner with a friend i saw at open mics, and it was mostly a disaster.

i think he started avoiding me after that!

anyway, it would have been a better evening had i just gone to see Rufus. it's so rare to see anyone who is an unknown who performs at those things finally achieve something of any merit. and he's so great. Poses is just an amazing album. Better than anything i've heard all year long. I'm tired of it, and i can't stop listening to it, that's how great it is.

and he came through with Tori Amos back in November, but of course the tickets were all gone. and he's not coming anywhere nearby on this lastest tour, so, it might be a while. but i'm used to it. most of the acts i want to see never come here.

But Loudon Wainwright is coming here next weekend. he's not too shabby himself, so he's not a consolation prize. and i genuinely like him, so i need to make a point of getting a ticket.

> Did you manage it?

i don't know. i just started posting about a week ago. but i can't imagine marching in and being noticed. like here. if i didn't write as much as i did and if it weren't for the weirdos who latched on, i would be invisible.

unless, of course, Rufus starts writing songs about me...... :^P

> Um yeah that's where I come in

> That almost sounds exciting. Here's my Friday night. 1. Get on internet,
> realize there is nothing to look at and sign off. (Repeat 3 times
> throughout the night) 2. Talk to friend on phone. Go back to step 1.

that sounds like most of my nights of the week.

[drunken demands]

> yeah, you'd think that there would be some sort of purpose in living,
> right?

That's what everyone wants you to believe but I'm suspicious. I don't know how attainable finding a true purpose is for most people. The world purpose is a bit overwhelming to me. I try to look at life as a bunch of different experiences mashed together with the ultimate goal being to have more good ones than bad ones.

If I get any more complex about it than that, I'll most likely get depressed.

> yeah, it does make a difference. if nothing more than when you are young
> and are subjected to everyone else's wishes, you keep hoping that one day
> your own decisions will mean something, and suddenly, the world will crack
> wide open for you because you will be free. and all you have to do is hold
> out.

But if you hold out and nothing happens you're bound to feel defeated.
Then what?

> no, i haven't seen him live. i had the chance to once. before his first
> album even came out, he played at SXSW. i recognized the name, of course,
> because i saw his dad Loudon Wainwright play there the year before and i
> took a liking for it.

How was he? I haven't really explored his music. I did catch his performance on that awful Greg Kilborn show, it was quite nice. His facial expressions alone were something to behold.

> anyway, it would have been a better evening had i just gone to see Rufus.
> it's so rare to see anyone who is an unknown who performs at those things
> finally achieve something of any merit. and he's so great. Poses is just
> an amazing album. Better than anything i've heard all year long. I'm tired
> of it, and i can't stop listening to it, that's how great it is.

I've only had it for about a month so I'm still in the honeymoon stage.
Cd's are like relationships for me. There's the constants I want to keep around, the brief affairs, and then there's the ones that really rip my world apart, inspire me and and make me happy to be alive.

Yeah I take my cds pretty seriously - heh heh.

> and he came through with Tori Amos back in November, but of course the
> tickets were all gone. and he's not coming anywhere nearby on this lastest
> tour, so, it might be a while. but i'm used to it. most of the acts i want
> to see never come here.

I'm pretty lucky show-wise because I live on the east coast. I can usually see who I want even though it might involve a long drive.

> But Loudon Wainwright is coming here next weekend. he's not too shabby
> himself, so he's not a consolation prize. and i genuinely like him, so i
> need to make a point of getting a ticket.

Oh I want to hear about it. I'd love to see him live. I want to see him do some of those weird faces again. It seems really honest or something.

> that sounds like most of my nights of the week.

Thank god I'm not the only one.

[SimplyThrilledHoney]

What does he sound like? I'm quite interested in hearing him, but don't think any of his albums have been released locally. If I was to order an album, which one should i get. Sell him to me, please.

STH

[drunken demands]

> What does he sound like? I'm quite interested in hearing him, but don't
> think any of his albums have been released locally. If I was to order an
> album, which one should i get. Sell him to me, please.
> STH

I would say definitely get Poses.

Go here: http://www.rufuswainwright.com/noflash/rufus_noflash.html

and click on music. You can hear clips from each of the songs on Poses.

He's awesome. Wonderful lyrics, (click on songs to check them out) great voice, what more can I say. Oh yeah and he's damn cute to look at too

Let me know what you think!

[suzanne]

> That's what everyone wants you to believe but I'm suspicious. I don't know
> how attainable finding a true purpose is for most people. The world
> purpose is a bit overwhelming to me. I try to look at life as a bunch of
> different experiences mashed together with the ultimate goal being to have
> more good ones than bad ones.

i suppose. but that sort of takes the idea that you are in full control of your destiny. sometimes you aren't. you may not have that chance to say "today, i'm going to the outback and looking for Koalas" or something else.

> If I get any more complex about it than that, I'll most likely get
> depressed.

> But if you hold out and nothing happens you're bound to feel defeated.
> Then what?

i've been trying to answer that question for quite some time.

but lately, i don't feel like investing in the long term. i'm sorta tired of doing things and they not go anywhere, and i'm tired of doing things where i have to prove something, so i suppose i've been going for immediacy and things that aren't required to astound anyone.

> How was he? I haven't really explored his music. I did catch his
> performance on that awful Greg Kilborn show, it was quite nice. His facial
> expressions alone were something to behold.

no, i didn't actually get to see him. that was my point. i was time wasting that night instead.

> I've only had it for about a month so I'm still in the honeymoon stage.
> Cd's are like relationships for me. There's the constants I want to keep
> around, the brief affairs, and then there's the ones that really rip my
> world apart, inspire me and and make me happy to be alive.

i don't know what sort of relationship i have with it. i can't get enough of it, but i can't identify exactly what emotion it inspires in me. which is strange because usually, you would think that it would mean something very specific.

> Yeah I take my cds pretty seriously - heh heh.

i sometimes do. actually, i'm getting tired of my current set and have no clue what to go onto next.

> I'm pretty lucky show-wise because I live on the east coast. I can usually
> see who I want even though it might involve a long drive.

hmm...

i suppose i shouldn't complain too much as i don't even make a lot of effort to see the shows that do come to town. another sign of age!

> Oh I want to hear about it. I'd love to see him live. I want to see him do
> some of those weird faces again. It seems really honest or something.

what? you saw him another time?

i kinda like his little foot stomp. he sorta reminds me of a kid having a tantrum.

> Thank god I'm not the only one.

i'm sure there are plenty.

oh, and by the way, if you don't hear from me, that means my new keyboard is not working. i'm currently at someone else's house typing this. i spilled water on my other one and it started doing goofy things afterwards, and i haven't tested the new one and my computer is old enough that there might be some issues.

[drunken demands]

> i suppose. but that sort of takes the idea that you are in full control of
> your destiny. sometimes you aren't. you may not have that chance to say
> "today, i'm going to the outback and looking for Koalas" or
> something else.

I know what you mean but in the big scheme of things I guess I do feel that I'm pretty much in control of my destiny. I can't really be a "what if" person. I'll drive myself mad thinking that way.

That said, considering the way my life has been going, I almost wish I could hire someone else for the job. It would be nice to have someone looking out for me and saying "no, what the hell are you doing, don't do that! This is the smart thing to do" Of course I would just end up telling them to shut up because I knew what I was doing anyway.

> but lately, i don't feel like investing in the long term. i'm sorta tired
> of doing things and they not go anywhere, and i'm tired of doing things
> where i have to prove something, so i suppose i've been going for
> immediacy and things that aren't required to astound anyone.

That's exactly how I feel. I think most people are probably better living that way. There's just less disappointment and stress.

> no, i didn't actually get to see him. that was my point. i was time
> wasting that night instead.

Oh ok I thought you did see Loudon in concert. Doh I got confused somewhere along the line.

> i sometimes do. actually, i'm getting tired of my current set and have no
> clue what to go onto next.

Your current set of cds? Yeah that always happens to me. I kind of absorb everything to the point where I can't really absorb it anymore and need to put it away and find something new. Finding new music is really hard for me though. I'm incredibly picky. It has to really hit me otherwise I don't even want to bother with it.

> i suppose i shouldn't complain too much as i don't even make a lot of
> effort to see the shows that do come to town. another sign of age!

I'm always finding out about shows too late. I hate when I find out someone I would have liked to have seen just passed through last month. Ugh.

> what? you saw him another time?

Oh no sorry I never saw Loudon "live" per se. I was just talking about watching him on that TV appearance. The only time I've ever "seen" him actually. Rufus I'm seeing in February, I can't wait.

> i kinda like his little foot stomp. he sorta reminds me of a kid having a
> tantrum.

Yes! That is so funny, it really does. He did that on the Greg Kilborn show. Between that and his facial expressions he was a hoot. I was looking through Loudon's lyrics the other day online and he is a great lyricist. Really humorous and in touch with things.

> oh, and by the way, if you don't hear from me, that means my new keyboard
> is not working. i'm currently at someone else's house typing this. i
> spilled water on my other one and it started doing goofy things
> afterwards, and i haven't tested the new one and my computer is old enough
> that there might be some issues.

Ah that sucks. I'm amazed that over the years this has never happened to me. I'm always drinking tea in front of the computer. I hope the new keyboard works out for you.

[suzanne]

> I know what you mean but in the big scheme of things I guess I do feel
> that I'm pretty much in control of my destiny. I can't really be a
> "what if" person. I'll drive myself mad thinking that way.

i don't feel that way. i feel like things happen and i'm incidental.

> That said, considering the way my life has been going, I almost wish I
> could hire someone else for the job. It would be nice to have someone
> looking out for me and saying "no, what the hell are you doing, don't
> do that! This is the smart thing to do" Of course I would just end up
> telling them to shut up because I knew what I was doing anyway.

yeah, i always make the wrong decisions. or at least the ones i try to make. it's so much easier when you are looking at other people and deciding what is sensible for them, but then, it comes to you and you are thinking there is some special case involved, but the truth is that there probably isn't.

> That's exactly how I feel. I think most people are probably better living
> that way. There's just less disappointment and stress.

> Oh ok I thought you did see Loudon in concert. Doh I got confused
> somewhere along the line.

after reading the rest of it, i think we got all of this turned around somewhere.

but yes, i did see Loudon. No, i did not see Rufus. Rufus is the guy i missed out on due to stupidity on my end.

Loudon actually played in the same venue as Billy Bragg, peter case, and iris dement that night, which was a good explanation of why i got to see him. i decided to turn up early as i couldn't judge what sort of crowd would turn out. Billy was playing some songs from the then up-coming Mermaid Avenue collection.

> Your current set of cds? Yeah that always happens to me. I kind of absorb
> everything to the point where I can't really absorb it anymore and need to
> put it away and find something new. Finding new music is really hard for
> me though. I'm incredibly picky. It has to really hit me otherwise I don't
> even want to bother with it.

i'm looking at Ella Fitzgerald. i know someone who is a fan, and i figure it might do some good to expand the circle of sounds that i listen to.

besides, i like things i can sing along to! even if it's not that good.

> I'm always finding out about shows too late. I hate when I find out
> someone I would have liked to have seen just passed through last month.
> Ugh.

i don't really have that problem. sometimes, i'm not very observant and i miss things, but generally....i try to scour the papers looking for things. sometimes i get bored and don't bother to look for a while.

> Oh no sorry I never saw Loudon "live" per se. I was just talking
> about watching him on that TV appearance. The only time I've ever
> "seen" him actually. Rufus I'm seeing in February, I can't wait.

i thought you meant RUFUS was on TV!!!!!!

sheesh!!!!!

> Yes! That is so funny, it really does. He did that on the Greg Kilborn
> show. Between that and his facial expressions he was a hoot. I was looking
> through Loudon's lyrics the other day online and he is a great lyricist.
> Really humorous and in touch with things.

i suppose. he's not my number one fave, but he's an interesting way to spend the evening.

which, it feels incestuous that i like both Loudon and Rufus. am i wrong?

the saddest thing was that he was on that show Undeclared all season long on Fox, and i never once got to see it. It was always on tuesday nights at 7:30PM, which is church choir practice, and i've lost the remote to my VCR, so i can't program it to record anything, and i'm too stupid to buy a new one, and i'm not sure if that show is coming back next season. he looks perfect for the role. and i read about him being on the show and i was like "hey, cool!" but i don't watch TV. I can't remember these things even if it was on a night of the week i was at home and bored. I think i've seen one episode of ER.

> Ah that sucks. I'm amazed that over the years this has never happened to
> me. I'm always drinking tea in front of the computer. I hope the new
> keyboard works out for you.

obviously, it does! and its much better than my old one!

i always drink in front of it, and eat meals and everything else. 'tis the life of a bachelorette. i own a perfectly fine diningroom table and i'm in here with my supper instead.

but who knows? that keyboard might have been on its last legs anyway. it was an offbrand and about 4 years old to boot.

[drunken demands]

> yeah, i always make the wrong decisions. or at least the ones i try to
> make. it's so much easier when you are looking at other people and
> deciding what is sensible for them, but then, it comes to you and you are
> thinking there is some special case involved, but the truth is that there
> probably isn't.

So true.

Sad thing is I do this all the time. I'll tell a friend something and say how they have to stop doing such and such and then do the same damn thing myself. I guess it's always easier to have someone else do the "right" thing than to actually do it yourself.

> Loudon actually played in the same venue as Billy Bragg, peter case, and
> iris dement that night, which was a good explanation of why i got to see
> him. i decided to turn up early as i couldn't judge what sort of crowd
> would turn out. Billy was playing some songs from the then up-coming
> Mermaid Avenue collection.

Damn that must have been a good night. I've never seen Billy live (I'm a fan of his) but everyone I've known who's seen him says he's great. Real chatty.

> i thought you meant RUFUS was on TV!!!!!!
> sheesh!!!!!

heh hee! Yeah we definitely got everything jumbled up. Did you catch Rufus's appearance on Leno? I actually remembered it was on (ok I taped a sticky note to the TV) and managed to tape it. It was nice.

> which, it feels incestuous that i like both Loudon and Rufus. am i wrong?

Heh heh. Somehow I don't feel incestuous at all!

> the saddest thing was that he was on that show Undeclared all season long
> on Fox, and i never once got to see it. It was always on tuesday nights at
> 7:30PM, which is church choir practice, and i've lost the remote to my
> VCR, so i can't program it to record anything, and i'm too stupid to buy a
> new one, and i'm not sure if that show is coming back next season.

I think it may be. It was mentioned when Loudon was on Greg Kilborn. I never saw Undeclared either but I'll try to make it a point to catch it if it does return. It would be cool to see him on there.

> looks perfect for the role. and i read about him being on the show and i
> was like "hey, cool!" but i don't watch TV. I can't remember
> these things even if it was on a night of the week i was at home and
> bored. I think i've seen one episode of ER.

I watched ER in part a few times. Mostly by accident. I never could manage a complete episode. I can't really understood the fascination with it. Maybe my attention span is too short.

> i always drink in front of it, and eat meals and everything else. 'tis the
> life of a bachelorette. i own a perfectly fine diningroom table and i'm in
> here with my supper instead.

Um ok I wasn't going to admit I eat in front of the computer but since you mentioned it I do that as well. Now instead of reading the back of a cereal box
I just plop down in front of the computer.

[suzanne]

> So true.

> Sad thing is I do this all the time. I'll tell a friend something and say
> how they have to stop doing such and such and then do the same damn thing
> myself. I guess it's always easier to have someone else do the
> "right" thing than to actually do it yourself.

i suppose. but it always looks much simpler in their case, and you have to wonder how much of your own problems are real, or if they're nothing more than mental blocks.

of course nobody answers that question because nobody really wants you to succeed in anything anyway.

> Damn that must have been a good night. I've never seen Billy live (I'm a
> fan of his) but everyone I've known who's seen him says he's great. Real
> chatty.

yeah, he was fun. he also played an in-store a few months later. i'd never really heard his music before that night.

> heh hee! Yeah we definitely got everything jumbled up. Did you catch
> Rufus's appearance on Leno? I actually remembered it was on (ok I taped a
> sticky note to the TV) and managed to tape it. It was nice.

yeah, i did. i was sad when it was a Beatle's cover.

apparently, Poses is now going to be "rereleased" but with that song tacked onto the end. which, i don't know how i feel about it because i feel like the record company is indirectly trying to profit off of George harrison's death by coattailing Rufus onto it with the nostalgia factor.

Like how they keep re-releasing Lee Greenwood albums every time there is a national disaster.

but you know how it is when they try to build someone's career off of a cover: it usually doesn't work. can you think of any singer/songwriter who has been able to do it? and it shows how little faith they have in his existing material. the fact that it's classic is not good enough for them, and they are sitting around in their offices freaking out that they don't know how to promote him.

i hate it when they do that. they get something that's promising, they show no faith in it and so they step in and start messing it up, and the people at home start getting confused and they give up, and then, when it dies, they are all like "well, there is nothing we could have done with it."

> Heh heh. Somehow I don't feel incestuous at all!

i do. its weird he has a son that's my age, and his son is mopping the floor with everyone. not that i followed Loudon from the beginning or anything.

> I think it may be. It was mentioned when Loudon was on Greg Kilborn. I
> never saw Undeclared either but I'll try to make it a point to catch it if
> it does return. It would be cool to see him on there.

well, its on tomorrow night, that i know.

> I watched ER in part a few times. Mostly by accident. I never could manage
> a complete episode. I can't really understood the fascination with it.
> Maybe my attention span is too short.

i don't either. then again, i dont understand the fascination of most TV.

> Um ok I wasn't going to admit I eat in front of the computer but since you
> mentioned it I do that as well. Now instead of reading the back of a
> cereal box
> I just plop down in front of the computer.

that makes me feel much better about my stuff! can i quote you?

at least the reading material i produce is much longer and therefore, you don't have to keep reading it over and over again, even though i am lacking in crossword puzzles.

[SimplyThrilledHoney]

> Let me know what you think!

Thanks .... I'll have a listen tonight and maybe try to buy an album this week.

Cheers,
STH

[drunken demands]

> i suppose. but it always looks much simpler in their case, and you have to
> wonder how much of your own problems are real, or if they're nothing more
> than mental blocks.

But mental blocks would be a whole other problem wouldn't it? So I guess either way you look at it they have a problem. A lot of times I think I stand in the way of my own solutions but it's so hard not to sometimes. And I don't think I'm a weak person either.

> yeah, he was fun. he also played an in-store a few months later. i'd never
> really heard his music before that night.

I always wanted to see a favorite artist play an in-store. I think that should be Morrissey's next move. If he ever comes out with any new material that is. Either way that won't ever happen but I can dream.

> yeah, i did. i was sad when it was a Beatle's cover.

I had already read on the Rufus board that it was going to be Across The Universe so I was prepared for that disappoinment. It was still great to see him but yeah I would have preferred it to have been an original.

> apparently, Poses is now going to be "rereleased" but with that
> song tacked onto the end.

Ugh is it really? Thankfully I'll have my perfectly realized first edition and not the mucked up add-on edition.

>and it shows how little faith they have in his existing material.

Yeah most record companies only have faith in things that bring them a lot of money fast though. It's typical, what can you do. Well, with the exception of Indie labels. I don't know much about his label Dreamworks do you?

>but the fact that it's classic is not good enough for them, and they are >sitting around in their offices freaking out that they don't
> know how to promote him.

Personally I can't really see Across The Universe being a big hit for him.
I don't know why. Is it doing well? I know on the message board they seem to think it's going to bring him to the masses but I just can't see it. Of course that may just be my own bias about the cover versus his original material.

> i hate it when they do that. they get something that's promising, they
> show no faith in it and so they step in and start messing it up, and the
> people at home start getting confused and they give up, and then, when it
> dies, they are all like "well, there is nothing we could have done
> with it."

I hate it too but that's what record companies do, they can't help themselves.
They have one track minds. I always think trying to steer an artists music/image in a certain direction (certainly a more mainstream direction) is a bad idea. The more you manipulate it against what it is the more the purity is lost and like you said the more you confuse people.

Did you hear that supposedly Rufus was planning on releasing his next album within 6 months of the release of Poses? I guess that 6 month mark is passed now but that would have been nice. Something to look forward to.

> well, its on tomorrow night, that i know.

I'll have to check it out.

> i don't either. then again, i dont understand the fascination of most TV.

> that makes me feel much better about my stuff! can i quote you?

Feel free.

[suzanne]

> But mental blocks would be a whole other problem wouldn't it? So I guess
> either way you look at it they have a problem. A lot of times I think I
> stand in the way of my own solutions but it's so hard not to sometimes.
> And I don't think I'm a weak person either.

oh, i'm a VERY weak person!

but mostly, i just feel like outside things just don't help that much. i have a hard enough time going from point A to point B without any obstacles ruining my mad dash.

most of the time, i really don't kow what i could have done differently.

> I always wanted to see a favorite artist play an in-store. I think that
> should be Morrissey's next move. If he ever comes out with any new
> material that is. Either way that won't ever happen but I can dream.

even if moz was to ever record again, i can't imagine any in-store. at least with signings, they have a way of making the crowd manageable. this other way, they'll be tearing up stuff.

> I had already read on the Rufus board that it was going to be Across The
> Universe so I was prepared for that disappoinment. It was still great to
> see him but yeah I would have preferred it to have been an original.

> Ugh is it really? Thankfully I'll have my perfectly realized first edition
> and not the mucked up add-on edition.

yes, it plays out much better. it's odd thinking that there will be some random track tacked onto the end.

every album i have that has these "bonus tracks", even if i had never heard the album in its original state, there is always something massively off kilter.

you get to the end, and suddenly, wham! the tone changes and you are kinda like "huh?"

at least, i can hear it. If you owned the Viva Hate re-release, i think you will know what i mean.

> Yeah most record companies only have faith in things that bring them a lot
> of money fast though. It's typical, what can you do. Well, with the
> exception of Indie labels. I don't know much about his label Dreamworks do
> you?

no, not really. All i know is that i believe it contains David Geffen (the G in SKG), which he is usually deemed as the spawn of satan in some circles.

other than that, i don't know much about their roster. at least i suppose it wasn't a bad thing that someone like Rufus could find a home on such a large label.

> Personally I can't really see Across The Universe being a big hit for him.
> I don't know why. Is it doing well? I know on the message board they seem
> to think it's going to bring him to the masses but I just can't see it. Of
> course that may just be my own bias about the cover versus his original
> material.

i'm not sure. but they're paranoid like that. suddenly, he will be stolen away from their little group and they will get pissed. either there will be a bit of "hey, this is a Beatle's song and George Harrison has just died" or not. Which, is what i think caused the labelheads to stick it on the album. Whether or not the radio stations buy it is another thing. I can't imagine why else they would play it. if the recorded version is like it was on Leno, it doesn't seem very exciting.

> I hate it too but that's what record companies do, they can't help
> themselves.
> They have one track minds. I always think trying to steer an artists
> music/image in a certain direction (certainly a more mainstream direction)
> is a bad idea. The more you manipulate it against what it is the more the
> purity is lost and like you said the more you confuse people.

but what exactly is pure? Even with the Smiths, how many outside hands were there in steering them into what they became?

to see what i mean, if you do look at any of the bios written on the band, you see that there are tons and tons of other names listed that you haven't even heard of. but they got the band their first gigs, produced them, got them on the radio, came up with some of their marketing, signed them, and what else.

what i see Dreamworks doing is trying to hitch their artist on the coattails of sentimentality. it's like stapling a rembrandt onto a Pollock just to get people to take a look.

> Did you hear that supposedly Rufus was planning on releasing his next
> album within 6 months of the release of Poses? I guess that 6 month mark
> is passed now but that would have been nice. Something to look forward to.

i have no clue. i just pop up and see if there is anything new happening.

but i think also since he's been on tour, that if it's not a live album, i can't imagine what he would put out unless it was already recorded like Kid A.

> I'll have to check it out.

> Feel free.

because you never know when that will be handy as a sales logo.

[drunken demands]

> oh, i'm a VERY weak person!

I used to think I was a weak person but I started to think that it was just something I fell back on. I just felt more comfortable thinking I was weak for some reason. It was only recently actually that some things happened in my life where I started thinking "hey you're stronger than you think you are" It was quite a nice feeling really.

> most of the time, i really don't kow what i could have done differently.

It's better that way. It's depressing to look back and say oh if only I would have done this differently everything would be great now.

> every album i have that has these "bonus tracks", even if i had
> never heard the album in its original state, there is always something
> massively off kilter.

Same here. I wonder how the artists themselves feel about it. I imagine a lot of the time they have no say.

> at least, i can hear it. If you owned the Viva Hate re-release, i think
> you will know what i mean.

I have it, I know what you mean.

> i'm not sure. but they're paranoid like that. suddenly, he will be stolen
> away from their little group and they will get pissed. either there will
> be a bit of "hey, this is a Beatle's song and George Harrison has
> just died" or not. Which, is what i think caused the labelheads to
> stick it on the album. Whether or not the radio stations buy it is another
> thing. I can't imagine why else they would play it. if the recorded
> version is like it was on Leno, it doesn't seem very exciting.

The recorded version is very similar to the version he did on Leno. The Beatles version is better, but then I usually feel that way about covers with the exception of a few. Rufus's version is nice but it doesn't really inspire me or anything.

> but what exactly is pure? Even with the Smiths, how many outside hands
> were there in steering them into what they became?

I guess pure as in as close to the artists vision as possible. Not having too many people come in and alter and mold things to make it more mainstream. I always felt the Smiths were very unique in their vision and that they're weren't too many hands in the pot. Am I wrong? I don't know, maybe I'm being naive but it always seemed that way.

> to see what i mean, if you do look at any of the bios written on the band,
> you see that there are tons and tons of other names listed that you
> haven't even heard of. but they got the band their first gigs, produced
> them, got them on the radio, came up with some of their marketing, signed
> them, and what else.

Well, I know there is a lot of behind the scenes people and certainly a lot of people had a great deal to do with the Smiths success besides The Smiths themselves. There is no doubting that. When I mentioned purity I was talking more about their artistic vision.

> but i think also since he's been on tour, that if it's not a live album, i
> can't imagine what he would put out unless it was already recorded like
> Kid A.

Supposedly, from what I read, he had a lot of original material that was never used on the first two albums. I really hope it's not a live album. I'm generally always disappointed by them. Especially if there is nothing new brought to the song, what's the point?

I just remembered Undeclared is on now....

One last thing, I read that Loudon is going to be on Conan February 25th. It's a repeat but you may have missed it the first time around as I did.

[suzanne]

> I used to think I was a weak person but I started to think that it was
> just something I fell back on. I just felt more comfortable thinking I was
> weak for some reason. It was only recently actually that some things
> happened in my life where I started thinking "hey you're stronger
> than you think you are" It was quite a nice feeling really.

i just don't feel the same.

> It's better that way. It's depressing to look back and say oh if only I
> would have done this differently everything would be great now.

i don't really assume that. i figure things would have played out to that end regardless. if i hadn't done it, well, something else would have come in and messed it up anyway.

> Same here. I wonder how the artists themselves feel about it. I imagine a
> lot of the time they have no say.

i figure he didn't. and even if he did, he was probably snowballed with "hey, Roofie baby, we can sell a ZILLION albums if you tack this on."

> I have it, I know what you mean.

> The recorded version is very similar to the version he did on Leno. The
> Beatles version is better, but then I usually feel that way about covers
> with the exception of a few. Rufus's version is nice but it doesn't really
> inspire me or anything.

after i did some more ground-level research, i'm more than certain this tactic is going to be a failure:

1. the cover is already included on the "i am sam" soundtrack, which, apparently, is selling very well. too well, actually. my local Tower record has it listed in their top 10 albums currently being sold.

2. if all of those people are buying the soundtrack, what incentive is there for them to say, "hey, you know, i'd REALLY like to buy his entire album just for the one song i already own!"

3. Sarah Mc Lauchlans' cover of "Black Bird" from the exact same album is already getting airplay, and so it looks like she beat him to the punch.

it kinda bothers me. what plans they have for his career, or is this a sign that they have no faith in his material and may be dropped?

> I guess pure as in as, ose to the artists vision as possible. Not having
> too many people come in and alter and mold things to make it more
> mainstream. I always felt the Smiths were very unique in their vision and
> that they're weren't too many hands in the pot. Am I wrong? I don't know,
> maybe I'm being naive but it always seemed that way.

Most bands have some outside influence steering their path.

A big one in the Smiths' case is the media. They were the ones who created the "controversies" surrounding him. They are the ones who harp on his supposed celibacy and his being the champion of the lonely saddos out there. If it weren't for them who so neatly packaged the idea of what it means to be a Smiths' fan for their audience to easily digest, and if they weren't intent on recycling the same story over and over again, relying more on myth than fact, what then?

> Well, I know there is a lot of behind the scenes people and certainly a
> lot of people had a great deal to do with the Smiths success besides The
> Smiths themselves. There is no doubting that. When I mentioned purity I
> was talking more about their artistic vision.

> Supposedly, from what I read, he had a lot of original material that was
> never used on the first two albums. I really hope it's not a live album.
> I'm generally always disappointed by them. Especially if there is nothing
> new brought to the song, what's the point?

i wouldn't think it would be. but i don't know how i feel about getting scraps of two albums. maybe there are classics in there that wouldn't work in the context of the other albums. who knows?

> I just remembered Undeclared is on now....

well, i missed it. i was practicing my hymnals.

i find it comical that they write these pretty little songs where there are lines like "and his foes will meet their destruction..."

yes, what a nice way to toss in some bloodlust.

Here's my new hymn

"lord, we give you thanks
blessed is he at the right hand of the father
praise thy name, lambs of God
and let us be saved

and to your foes may their teeth fall out
and may their eyes dangle bloodily from their sockets
let their hemmorhoids swell and block the light of day
we sing praise to you, our saviour..."

> One last thing, I read that Loudon is going to be on Conan February 25th.
> It's a repeat but you may have missed it the first time around as I did.

that's a long way off. damn. i have to make it through both valentine's day, president's day, and who knows what else.

which it turns out i was wrong. his in-town performance is later than i thought. on well. i have no concept of time.

[drunken demands]

> i don't really assume that. i figure things would have played out to that
> end regardless. if i hadn't done it, well, something else would have come
> in and messed it up anyway.

I felt like that for a long time too. In some ways I still do, but it's just self defeating. Stop doing it I tell you. You'll drive yourself mad.

> i figure he didn't. and even if he did, he was probably snowballed with
> "hey, Roofie baby, we can sell a ZILLION albums if you tack this
> on."

Very true. Have you gone on the Rufus board lately? There was a bit of a war going on last I looked. Some veteran poster (baptismal beauty I think her name was) came on and started knocking the newer members posts. She seemed a bit of a pain in the ass from what I read. Oh the ruthlessness of online message boards!

> it kinda bothers me. what plans they have for his career, or is this a
> sign that they have no faith in his material and may be dropped?

I don't know if they'll drop him. He still has a bit of a buzz going from Poses so I think they'll keep him around for a bit. As for them having faith in his material - I think in their big fat heads they think there's something there but they're just trying to force it to sell faster. "Okay guys we got the buzz on Roofie - now hurry sell him, sell him!" When money is involved people get really impatient. The buzz was happening before the release of "Across The Universe" I think. I really agree that they are freaking out on how to market him.

> A big one in the Smiths' case is the media. They were the ones who created
> the "controversies" surrounding him. They are the ones who harp
> on his supposed celibacy and his being the champion of the lonely saddos
> out there. If it weren't for them who so neatly packaged the idea of what
> it means to be a Smiths' fan for their audience to easily digest, and if
> they weren't intent on recycling the same story over and over again,
> relying more on myth than fact, what then?

I see your point, begrudgingly though

> well, i missed it. i was practicing my hymnals.

He didn't make an appearance. I watched it (not carefully though) and I didn't see him. It was a bit hard for me to concentrate on it, I always have a hard time getting into new shows.

> Here's my new hymn
> "lord, we give you thanks
> blessed is he at the right hand of the father
> praise thy name, lambs of God
> and let us be saved
> and to your foes may their teeth fall out
> and may their eyes dangle bloodily from their sockets
> let their hemmorhoids swell and block the light of day
> we sing praise to you, our saviour..."

I dare you to sing it at Sunday mass.

> that's a long way off. damn. i have to make it through both valentine's
> day, president's day, and who knows what else.

Yes, I know. I'll have to make a note of it, otherwise I'm sure to forget.
Of course the note is bound to get lost and I'll find it after the fact.
Murphy's law or something like that.

[suzanne]

> I felt like that for a long time too. In some ways I still do, but it's
> just self defeating. Stop doing it I tell you. You'll drive yourself mad.

let me get my magic wand...

*poof!*

i'm normal!

> Very true. Have you gone on the Rufus board lately? There was a bit of a
> war going on last I looked. Some veteran poster (baptismal beauty I think
> her name was) came on and started knocking the newer members posts. She
> seemed a bit of a pain in the ass from what I read. Oh the ruthlessness of
> online message boards!

fuck 'em. unless they are some freak who would potentially fly out to my house and shoot me, i don't care anymore.

i think i vaguely remember reading it. but as with here, i probably only read 1/2 of what is written.

> I don't know if they'll drop him. He still has a bit of a buzz going from
> Poses so I think they'll keep him around for a bit. As for them having
> faith in his material - I think in their big fat heads they think there's
> something there but they're just trying to force it to sell faster.
> "Okay guys we got the buzz on Roofie - now hurry sell him, sell
> him!" When money is involved people get really impatient. The buzz
> was happening before the release of "Across The Universe" I
> think. I really agree that they are freaking out on how to market him.

i suppose there are many albums sitting around on the shelf for well over a year before anyone takes notice.

that supposedly happened with Jewel's first album. I think they finally made a video and it started selling afterwards.

but it did sell...eventually.

> I see your point, begrudgingly though

half of what makes a band successful is the idea around them. yes, there have been many bands who have sung songs about depression before and since, but its the challenge of making it appear that you aren't some boring old person up there thoughtfully plucking it out on your acoustic guitar is another issue.

> He didn't make an appearance. I watched it (not carefully though) and I
> didn't see him. It was a bit hard for me to concentrate on it, I always
> have a hard time getting into new shows.

oh well. don't kill yourself over it. the world presses on.

i heard he was also in the movie 28 Days (the sandra bullock movie) and unless it was showing on TV for free, i'm sure as hell not going to pick it up. nothing against him, but more of being subjected to Sandra.

> I dare you to sing it at Sunday mass.

as i'm not even allowed to sing any solos, i suppose i'll have to rush the alter and knock the monsignor off. he's old. he probably won't put up much of a fight.

> Yes, I know. I'll have to make a note of it, otherwise I'm sure to forget.
> Of course the note is bound to get lost and I'll find it after the fact.
> Murphy's law or something like that.

how did you know about it? are you a fan of Conan's? i didn't know that they released that stuff so far out in advance....