How many songs would you like there to be about court cases, magistrates, ex-drummers, and taxmen (etc) on the new album? (suggested by Maurice E)
Displaying poll results.
Every song and every b-side   5% 142 / 5%
Lots of songs   1% 49 / 1%
Maybe one or two   6% 192 / 6%
No songs at all   24% 685 / 24%
However many Moz sees fit   19% 527 / 19%
Don't care   6% 181 / 6%
This is the worst poll in the history of the internet   35% 968 / 35%
2744 total votes.

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  • Don't complain about lack of options. You've got to pick a few when you do multiple choice. Those are the breaks.
  • Feel free to suggest poll ideas if you're feeling creative. I'd strongly suggest reading the past polls first.
  • This whole thing is wildly inaccurate. Rounding errors, ballot stuffers, dynamic IPs, firewalls. If you're using these numbers to do anything important, you're insane.

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How many songs would you like there to be about court cases, magistrates, ex-drummers, and taxmen (etc) on the new album? (sugge | Log in/Create an Account | Top | 108 comments | Search Discussion
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finally... (Score:0)
...Worst poll as an option!

There should be no doubt about how I voted.

And no doubt about which option is best...that is...until the next worst poll of all time.

-The Treading lemming

"there was love on the floor so i walked on the ceiling"
Anonymous -- Wednesday August 31 2005, @09:25AM (#177086)
  • Whoops.... by Anonymous (Score:0) Wednesday August 31 2005, @09:28AM
    Hahaha (Score:2, Funny)
    Sorry Maurice E, I couldn't resist voting for the last option.
    Really I couldn't give a fig what he writes about- I just wish he'd stop calling me...
    KenBarlow -- Wednesday August 31 2005, @09:26AM (#177087)
    (User #13803 Info)
    There is no such thing in life as Norman
    Last Option (Score:1)
    Sorry, but I had to vote for the last option. David T, you have to pick one of my polls sometime! I'm going to enjoy the album nontheless, whether he sings about the court case or not.

    On the case of ex-drummers, can he make a song for Deano?
    Foster -- Wednesday August 31 2005, @10:08AM (#177092)
    (User #14088 Info)
      hmm (Score:0)
      I bet if Moz sang a song about Hilary Duff you'd all then be soon wanting to get at her muff.
      Anonymous -- Wednesday August 31 2005, @10:34AM (#177097)
      Maybe we are more obsessed with this than Moz (Score:0)
      He released loads of songs last year that were nothing to do with these subjects. The ones that did mention them were mainly just a passing line or two.

      I want Morrissey to write about stuff he is passionate about. If that sets him up for ridicule then I'm sure he can weather that, he's used to it.

      The whole thing about Morrissey is he's never been afraid of making strong specific statements unlike most artists today who prefer to sit on the fence or hide what they are trying to say under poetic metaphors.
      Anonymous -- Wednesday August 31 2005, @10:51AM (#177101)
      Excellent poll (Score:2, Funny)
      I voted for the first option, every song and every b-side.

      My reasoning for this is that Morrissey's almost always at his best when abandoning the old-hat subjects of yesteryear like shattering desperation, gut wrenching social povery and anguished cries in empty rooms, for material we can all relate to, like squabling over royalties, buying a pile of stuff from Gucci, and the archaic nature of the British legal system.

      More power to your elbow, Moz my good man! Let's hope the new album has a tracklisting similar to this;

      1. All Rise
      2. Order!
      3. I'd Rather Fax My Income Tax
      4. Take Him Down
      5. Price Of Car Insurance These Days, Huh? Discusting
      6. And Another Thing
      7. Absolutely Robbed
      8. Fuddy Duddyies In Dusty Old Wigs, Poooh! You Smell Of Poo!
      9. In Your Dreams, Mike
      10. Petulant? I'll Show You Petulant
      11. How Do You Find Him?

      I think the first single will we I'd Rather Fax My Income Tax, and the b-sides will be
      1. But I'll Phone For A Loan
      2. Quote Me Happy

      Can anyone think of a decent name for the album, though?
      Stan * <stanleymchale@mac.com> -- Wednesday August 31 2005, @11:02AM (#177103)
      (User #9752 Info | http://www.stanleymchale.merseyblogs.co.uk/ )
      and accountants rampant........ (Score:0)
      I guess he does his own 1040 each year
      Anonymous -- Wednesday August 31 2005, @11:19AM (#177105)
        what is there left to write about? (Score:1)
        on the last album/collection of singles, there were songs about Jesus, being Irish, America, lawyers, crashing bores, lazy dykes, noise, drummers, lawyers, accountants, never-played songs, record company types, hispanic gang members, mexico, London, the cops, journalists, etc.

        what is there left to write about?

        i can't even begin to imagine what's on this latest album.
        suzanne * -- Wednesday August 31 2005, @11:38AM (#177106)
        (User #36 Info | http://www.myspace.com/snootywriter )
        I scare dead people.
        Allo, Jerky! (Score:1)
        He should put out an album of crank calls a la the Jerky Boys to everybody he's pissed at. But, with the typical Morrissey release and concert being less than 60 minutes, it'd probably be a double album. Well, at least we'd be getting a double album.
        Astroman -- Wednesday August 31 2005, @11:46AM (#177110)
        (User #8735 Info)
        • Re:Allo, Jerky! by Anonymous (Score:0) Thursday September 01 2005, @07:45AM
          New Poll! (Score:0)
          How many shite polls would you like there to be about court cases, magistrates, ex-drummers, and taxmen (etc) on the new album? (suggested by Maurice E)

          A. 0
          B. 0
          C. 0
          D. 0
          E. 0
          Anonymous -- Wednesday August 31 2005, @12:20PM (#177112)
            And Please.... (Score:0)
            No songs about how fickle, rotten, underhanded, and seedy the record industry is - "Paint a Vulgar Picture" captured it beautifully, and there need not be yet another... We know you've been kicked around and back stabbed and all that, Moz. Point taken.

            Anonymous -- Wednesday August 31 2005, @12:35PM (#177117)
              I've suggested two Fabulous Poll Suggestions BUT.. (Score:1)
              Over one month ago and I guess they're yet to have been considered. I guess I'm assuming they're being outright rejected when topics such as these are being used. My suggestion was "Of Morrissey's more homoerotic songs, which is the best?" and an identical question regarding The Smith's ouvre. I even had 10 choices lined for each ponderance. I though surely this would be an interesting poll as it would stir some controversy and allow some us to rejoice in the all-sexuality inclusiveness of Morrissey's words. Instead we're being asked some Random loaded question which is not interesting whatsoever. Oh well....
               
              DavidBeauy <davidbeauy@yahoo.com> -- Wednesday August 31 2005, @02:00PM (#177128)
              (User #6009 Info | http://beaurock.net/ )
              "When thirteen years old Who dyed his hair gold ? Oh, I know very well, I don't need to be told"
              Heck (Score:2, Funny)
              if the man's angry, leave him to monopolise the subject. Otherwise, let him call me, and he can moan at me for however many hours he sees fit.
              Mozzersgirl -- Wednesday August 31 2005, @02:14PM (#177134)
              (User #14229 Info)
              "There's more evil in the charts than in an al-Qaeda suggestion box" - Bill Bailey
                Gay songs (Score:0)
                I want more homosexual suggestive songs.
                Anonymous -- Wednesday August 31 2005, @04:24PM (#177154)
                • Re:Gay songs by Anonymous (Score:0) Wednesday August 31 2005, @04:33PM
                  • Re:Gay songs by Celibate Cry (Score:1) Wednesday August 31 2005, @11:28PM
                    • Re:Gay songs by Anonymous (Score:0) Thursday September 01 2005, @01:54AM
                      worst poll ever! (Score:0)
                      i think the worst poll ever was the "should moz fake his own death?" poll.
                      Anonymous -- Wednesday August 31 2005, @09:45PM (#177163)
                        Magistrates (Score:0)
                        A niggling comment I made before; but the reference to "magistrates" cannot possibly have any connection to "that" court case. In the British Court of Law magistrates preside over magistrate trials (ie. petty criminal), not in legal battles over royalties.

                        "Magistrates" are presented as a hate figure representive of small minded officialdom. You may think that's a worthwhile lyrical conceit or not, but its NOT anything to do with Joyce (though You Know I Couldn`t Last clearly does, at too great a length, and worst song on the album in my view. So, to answer the main question, less in that vein would be better in my view.)

                        BTW he was having a go at "High Court Judges" (More You Ignore Me) before the ruling wasn`t he?
                        Anonymous -- Thursday September 01 2005, @08:46AM (#177191)
                        • Re:Magistrates by Anonymous (Score:0) Friday September 02 2005, @03:37AM
                          Court Jester (Score:0)
                          It could be a traumatic experience when people lie and then those lies have a direct effect on your life. Morrissey is still here and thank goodness he was able to rise above all the chaff, to keep going, to keep producing amazing music.

                          Morrissey was badly wronged in court, in my own opinion, and I truly believe that a hidden agenda was clearly evident in the mind of the law and the Court Jestor was 'that man.'
                          Anonymous -- Thursday September 01 2005, @12:33PM (#177215)
                          Why all the fuss? (Score:1)
                          It seems that Quarry has finally put Morrissey on the map here in America. After spending virtually all of his solo career under the radar, his coming-out moment as an icon has arrived. People who have never heard of him are taking notice. This next album is important because people want to know what the fuss is all about.

                          Which begs the question - what is the fuss all about? Why do so many love him so, um, intensely, and for so many years? To his many critics he is a vain, self-absorbed drama queen who can't see beyond his own petty problems. To his fans, followers and admirers he is (among other things) a timeless rebel who does not flinch from confronting hypocrisy and pain - a fighter in the ring of life who will take 'em all on with wit, style and humor.

                          Ultimately, Moz will sing about what inspires him. But this moment in history is particularly horrific - the forces of idiocy are massed and breaching the barricades. One would hope that Moz has put ex-drummers behind him, and is ready to confront existence and his place in it head on,

                          or at least have a really good laugh.

                               
                          Anaesthesine -- Friday September 02 2005, @06:51AM (#177251)
                          (User #14203 Info)
                          If Moz did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
                          Come on, now! (Score:1)
                          It just wouldn't be a Mozz album without a song slamming some sort of drone, be it a government serviceman or otherwise. I think meter maids and checkout counter ladies are next. Those people must go down.
                          ATLpunk -- Friday September 02 2005, @07:13AM (#177253)
                          (User #13585 Info)
                            Pleeeeease ! (Score:0)
                            Please get that Hilary Duff news knocked down the page with some new NEWS ! I'm so tired of checking and seeing that there.... "Alain Whyte orders a sandwich at Mr. Sub" .... Anything, please !
                            Anonymous -- Friday September 02 2005, @10:11AM (#177267)
                              He should retire gracefully... (Score:3, Interesting)
                              ...and disappear from the wretched world that is the entertainment business.

                              Show Biz destroys people's dignity and their fragile sanity - Moz was nearly destroyed but has done well to recover and survive.

                              He is a delicate soul and natural born wallflower who would find greater pleasure and serenity from pressing the heads of cut flowers into poetry books or concentrating on a particularly challenging piece of needlepoint, than lurking around the crawlers and musos as he approaches his 50th birthday in four years time.

                              Personally I think his force as a songwriter is completely spent. Everything he has ever needed to say has been said - he is now almost like Oscar Wilde's historians - in danger of repeating himself and others - AD NAUSEUM!

                              Perhaps he could go on a kitsch carbaret tour once every three years or like Our Lady of Vegas, set up shop and have the blessed&devoted turn up with light sticks and lit candles to worship at his shrine 51 weeks of the year. Not exactly retirement - but the days on a tour bus would be long over.

                              OR he could start making cheesy pop/disco records in order to jam some badly needed creativity into his repertoire - but methinks he would think that sort of glitter and sequined froth&fluff totally beneath his dignity if not totally compromsing his credibility as a composer and Artiste.

                              Though, I just can't help thinking he wishes he could make a luscious 70's retro/glam record like Goldfrapp's 'Ooh La La'. I bet he dances to it 9 times every night with his teddy bear before bedtime.
                              Lazy Sunbather -- Friday September 02 2005, @03:12PM (#177288)
                              (User #843 Info)
                              "Pourquoi ne veux tu pas de moi."
                              And the new album shall be entitled... (Score:1)
                              Little Mike, What Now?
                              ILOVEKACIE -- Friday September 02 2005, @08:22PM (#177303)
                              (User #14633 Info)
                                rub a dub dub (Score:0)
                                this is the best poll in the history of time.
                                Anonymous -- Saturday September 03 2005, @04:01AM (#177317)
                                  you'll see (Score:0)
                                  The new album won't have any songs about lawyers, judges, politics etc - it is going to be totally different and it is to be called 'First Swansong'.......
                                  Anonymous -- Saturday September 03 2005, @02:05PM (#177354)
                                    Maybe... (Score:1)
                                    ...he'll write a song about the polls on Moz Solo ?. Some suggestions...

                                    - Last of the famous international Morrissey polls
                                    - We have it when our polls become successful
                                    - Now my poll is full
                                    - Some polls are bigger than others ???

                                    Stop me if you think you've seen this poll before... ;-)
                                    Missing Link -- Sunday September 04 2005, @11:58AM (#177373)
                                    (User #3503 Info)
                                    • Or..... by PhoenixDays (Score:1) Monday September 05 2005, @03:17PM
                                      • How about.... by Anonymous (Score:0) Wednesday September 07 2005, @10:28AM
                                        • ...more by earnest (Score:1) Thursday September 08 2005, @07:47AM
                                          we're living in the scariest times in living... (Score:0)
                                          memory for many of us:
                                          -a thousand people killed in a stampede in Iraq last week
                                          -hundreds, if not thousands, killed in a hurricane in New Orleans
                                          -hundreds of people murdered or seriously injured on the underground trains and buses of London by cowardly, deranged, religious weirdos
                                          -hundreds of children massacred in a Russian school in cold blood
                                          -hundreds of thousands of people killed in a freak tidal wave.

                                          if a multi-millionaire pop star seriously thinks that whinging even more about a stupid court case (which cost him a tiny fraction of his massive wealth) is of any interest to any sane member of the human race (and constitutes having your 'face dragged through shit'), in this day and age, then he doesn't deserve to release a record or play a concert ever again.
                                          Anonymous -- Tuesday September 06 2005, @01:45PM (#177565)
                                          • Re:we're living in the scariest times in living... by Anonymous (Score:0) Tuesday September 06 2005, @01:56PM
                                            • Re:we're living in the scariest times in living... (Score:2, Interesting)
                                              The nature of what caused the terror attacks in London, the massacres in Russia, and all the massacres in human history - since it began - is of the same nature of what made Morrissey suffer unjust treatment in court, in school (do you know he was beaten in school?) and in the music industry. Mental miopia causes damages of kinds - from psychological to physical, in the private, intimate sphere and in the public sphere. When you use words of hatred against somebody, you are already causing someone damage, if you have the power to isolate and socially immobilize this person. Prolonged (or chronic) Loneliness and isolation, invisible, existential confinement - Morrissey's main theme - is just as psychologically damaging as the Berlin wall, the putting of Jews on concentration camps or ghettos of any kind. Only it comes in homeopathic dosages. Only it is not evident to less sublte minds.

                                              Morrissey was one of the only ones - if not the only one - in music history that exposed the seriousness of depression caused by outsideness, by being hatred or despised in a group. His attack on all kinds of authority is only one of a many illustrations of the mentally sterilizing mediocrity authority figures can promote. If you remove Morrissey from this anti-brain washing mission - e.g.,protesting against vulgar and mind/senses-numbing songs - you kill the purpose of why he makes songs and goes on. But we fans make sure this keeps from happening, and we have been succeeding so far, because there is a need for him to be here.

                                              We live in scary times and/because we live in the age of loneliness too. Our insentiveness to nature and to our subsequent destruction of it are causing the planet to warm up and destroy us in turn, but our aloofness to the feelings of others our are causing a growing massive consumption of Valium and Prozac. People often go unheard, and have to pay for therapists to have someone who listens to them. I don't know why you think this is stupid. Unless you haven't learnt from human experience any more than through comic books.

                                              We have lived an age of loneliness in every historical phase: Joan of Arc must have felt pretty alone, way before she was incarcerated and then burned, way before, when she was treated as a herectic witch. Jews in the concentration camp, besides hunger and thirst, have died equally from the sadness of being apart from their families, and from the dry and cruel words that were systematically used to denigrate them. This is fact. Jim Morrisson too, because most of those around him didn't understand anything of what he meant or tried to live for. Norma Jean, because she was repeatedly used as an object of desire and abandonned.

                                              But if you need a massive, earth-shattering tragedy to understand tragedy has always occured in human history, you should read about the black plague that wiped out nearly half of Europe in the late middle ages. The eruption of the Vesuvius around the end of the Roman empire. Otherwise, remember Sappho and Ovid died alone and despised by most people they knew. Fortunately, Morrissey managed to emerge from ostracism, again and again, because the love of his fans for him will keep him from drowning into obscurity again. We need his voice, because it speaks of things people like you refuse to see.

                                              It would be more concisive,though, not to confuse natural disasters to the ones caused by human hatred and prejudice (isolation, depression, etc. Although they can come toghether, they are still two different categories of tragedy.
                                              Mrs. Woolf -- Tuesday September 06 2005, @04:43PM (#177576)
                                              (User #14157 Info)
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