"You're older now and you're a clever swine…" Morrissey @ 40

There are two ways to age in rock'n'roll: the Mick way and the Keith way. If you're a Mick, you have to fight Father Time and appeal to the kids with the help of cosmetic surgery and really (really, really) good lighting. If you're a Keith, your face can get craggy and skeletal, your hair can gray and thin as long as what you have left stands straight up like you've just been shocked by some faulty wiring in your Marshall stack, you can wear big, black shades to hide the rheumatism, leather pants are still okay but spandex is out of the question.

While the Smiths' guitarist Johnny Marr is most definitely a Keith, alas, his former partner and fellow genius Morrissey is very much a Mick. That's why it's a little bittersweet for us here at Spin.com to celebrate his 40th birthday on Saturday, May 22. The Mozzer might look good for another couple of years thanks to err… clean living (you know, no meat, no sex, lifting heavy tomes full of Wilde, and flinging gladioli), but this milestone makes us a bit nervous (especially since most of us remember him as a 25 year old, with the exception of Ultragrrrl, who was, like, born when Hatful of Hollow came out or something). Morrissey is too fragile, too right, too perfect to ever lose his youth and beauty.

You know how sometimes you lose touch with a friend for a while and see them again on the street and they've aged remarkably. We never want to see our charming man in that awkward light because that light is a reflection on ourselves and our own youth, so informed by his words and voice and Marr's guitar. That light may never go out, but after four decades, has it dimmed? Where is the Moz? How will he celebrate the big 4-0? Will he break into the palace with a sponge and a rusty spanner? Will he meet his beloved at the cemetery gates? Will he jump from the top of the parachute? Will he book himself into the YWCA? Will he go on his own and leave on his own and go home and cry and want to die? We hope not. We hope the Moz has found a way to accept the loss of his youth, to somehow become a Keith in Mick's clothing. Our hope may be a selfish one, because if he can do it, we, like we were back in '84, will be shown how to find grace amidst the criminal vulgarity too. We also want the old queen to be happy because we love him dearly. So here's our humble Hallmark.. Come back soon (what with all these high school shootings, the sad, misguided kids in black clearly need you now). We've come to wish you an unhappy birthday. Thanks for the misery!

All thoughts on Morrissey and his big day should be mailed to Spin.com's resident Charming Man, Marc Spitz a.k.a. Rockboy (mspitz@spinmag.com).