*sigh*

Things are just TOO mad right now. I feel like running and running until I get to somewhere with no people, just animals and trees and stuff. Ugh. I am constantly on edge, worried, agitated. I am behind on so much stuff. I have spent FAR too much money. I am beginning to despise my job, realising more and more that I've ended up exactly where I worked for the last 10 years not to be. I gave up a lot so I wouldn't become a rat, and here I am. Well it's not gonna last, the decision has been made. Anyway, it's 1.20am and I haven't got time for this.

So a train of thought. I am behind on phone calls and emails and people are gonna stop contacting me soon, I HAVE to speak to Melissa, my room is full of black binbags which have to be sorted through and I DON'T HAVE TIME, my flatwarming is on Sunday and I don't think I can face it, I am way behind in work, I have bills to pay and I don't know if I can even locate them never mind PAY them, I have to help my flatmate find a job, my parents are back to being the selfish bastards they always were, my sister had a vivid dream I had AIDS and is worried about me even though she hates me, I'm putting lots of weight on, I never get enough sleep, everything is SO MUCH EFFORT.

So that's it basically. The new flat is beautiful, and all the furniture I've bought looks superb. I'm just too scared and tired to properly enjoy it.

Nos da pawb.

Lou xxx

special mentions to melissa, biffo, kes, esteban, john, h, mel, dwgt and steph.