Ok so last Monday I get the phone bill. there are the usual long distance calls, and since I am the only one who ever bothers to do the bills I was breaking up all of our individual long distance charges. I noticed that none of them were from Karen, which is odd because there are usually a few. Then i find a seperate page with "Dial around zero" charges. Apparently it is some special thing where you call the operator and have her place your call instead of dialing directly. All of the charges were to Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts (Where Lisa lives) and they were all for about 300 minutes, placed at like 3am and every time i was not home or asleep. "Hmm" i said to myself. So, deciding that this whole thing has gotten way too ridiculous to keep ignoring, i left the phone bill on the counter with "dial around zero" circled and a big "KAREN" on the top of the page. Now, Karen and I were supposed to hang out last Tuesday. But the Friday before I said, I want to hang out with Tony because its his birthday but if you want to come you can. So I leave the bill out on Monday night, on Tues morning it was gone. Karen calls me Tues afternoon and I explain that I am going over Tony's. She acts all normal-like and of course so do I. We go to Tony's where we do not speak and then, as soon as we get home I go into the bathroom to get ready for bed. on my way out i notice her door is open and i knock and say "night" and i hear someone sobbing hysterically. So i stood in her doorway silently and watched her cry for about 45 minutes. I had nothing to say, what could I say?? She continued to weep and then went outside. I didn't know what to do, but a sick part of me wanted to watch. so i followed her outside and we sat there for another 25 minutes. At one point i thought she was going to die from crying too hard and i put my hand on her back and she said "Don't fucking be nice to me" in between her sobs. So i sat there silently and finally decided to go inside. Then two days later i found a note on the table from her. her note apologized for fucking our friendship and how she knows i woul dnever do it to her and she's here if i wanted to talk and she can't bear the thought of me going to europe for a month and then never speaking to her again, and she has been a terrible friend to me and i agreed with it all but couldn't imagien what to say. i don't think "Yes, you're right" is a good enough reply. so it took me a few days but i think i am getting close to a good response. I think my Draft 1 is a but too rude at the end. i don't want to give her any more of a chance to play victem. She's a very easy person to be friends with, but she doesn't have many good friends. her friends are mainly casual, and she goes through them in stages. that is exactly the kind of friend i don't want in my everyday life. But yet... well i don't know. i will continue working on the letter and see what happens. I want to move on and let everything go but i don't for several reasons. One is, i'm sorry but she has to stop treating people like shit and getting away with it. it's NOT ok. and second of all, i DON"T forgive her and i won't forget. And i am sick of faking it.
ahh, almost time for work to end. feel free to give comments for the letter...is that creepy? Creepy?