Journal of foxy (7334)

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foxy (7334)

foxy
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Bohemain goth smoothie drinking bona fide genius joy division fan with an obsession with Morrissey, your average female............

Thursday March 27, 2003

11:28 PM

[ ]

well well well, look who it ain't!

I haven't written here for ages, did anyone miss me?!
Thought not.
Anyways, it's hard to find an outlet for my emotions in people, they either tell me I'm crazy, leave me alone or just laugh at me, and I've seen too many of those reactions.
So lucky reader, I shall inflict them upon you!
Yesterday I skipped technology, and sat in the junior toilets for an hour, listening to Joy Division on my walkman, writing letters to Morrissey, chatting to friends on my mobile and erm, cutting myself.
I don't do it for the adrenalin anymore, as that wears off pretty quick, I do it to feel the pain, to punish myself for being the person I am.
My arm's pretty much a mess right now, plus the skin feels so damn tight every time I move it feels like it's going to break and my whole arm will just open up in a big, bloody mess.
I enjoy feeling the pain.
I know that makes me seem so fucking weird, (becuase I am maybe?) but it's true, I like the way it's sharp, then just aches and aches for ages.
I'm going to lose the friends I've got over this, I lost most of them last year when I was self harming, but back then, all I had to lose was myself, now, I don't even have that.
I need people now more than ever and all they seem to be doing is pushing me away even further.
Arm's length is too close, apparently.
I need somebody to just hold me for hours, and tell me how things will get better, good things come to those who wait, I need to feel human, in some way, breathing isn't enough!

And other news in the world of Harriet:

I'm in trouble for inciting a protest which around 200 people in total attended.

I've joined Revolution, the socailist youth!

I've got a crush on Kurt Cobain again.

My Mum looks like Debbie Harry!

I'm currently dancing happy mondays Bez style to my minsistry of sound album!

See, things aren't that bad!!

Love and kisses to my favourite people, whom I can't be arsed to list, apart from the ones I truly do love.............erm, lou, bumstuffer, rallen, kes, erm, there are others, I'm sure but you know, lousy memory etc.

Toodle pip campers!
Love Harriet the lousy anarchist xxx
P.S leave comments, or I'll never write again!

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well well well, look who it ain't! | Log in/Create an Account | Top | 7 comments | Search Discussion

The Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not responsible for them in any way.

I missed you!! (Score:1)

Yes....a long time indeed.
:)

Tatterjack -- Friday March 28 2003, @04:28AM (#56824)
(User #7877 Info)

I'm still right here (Score:1)

I know my cell phone is broke at the moment, lovey, but I'll call you at home real soon, promise..
As you know (Cos I keep blabbing and blabbing to you) it's my birthday on wednesday...!!!!

That means that I may be popping up to see you maybe the saturday after I'm free... I can treat you to some bizarre alcopop or whatever you want to drink, being as I'll have my ID..
Just the one though, young lady...

Seriously, though, love forever and ever...

bumstuffer x

the_tatty_truth -- Friday March 28 2003, @04:54AM (#56826)
(User #7359 Info)
FAMOUS WHEN DEAD

*embarrased cough* (Score:1)

i say my dear, its jolly decent of you to keep mentioning me in your journal, bless you. eeeeeek im not happy with you for cutting yourself young lady, im suprised no ones said anything on here (shame on you bumstuffer) anyway im sure you wont take a blind bit of notice to what ive said so any words of wisdom i preach to you will fall on def ears. anyway its not all bad (james's phone has broke tee hee)

all things must pass. have you seen the film blade runner?

rallen <kiing_rallen@yahoo.co.uk> -- Friday March 28 2003, @09:48AM (#56874)
(User #4753 Info)
the best form of revenge is to live well.

Hello... (Score:1)

Harriet, not had the pleasure of chatting with you recently, a pleasure i'm sadly missing. I can only second master Rallen's comments about this self harm phase. I would never preach nor pretend to know how you feel, this would be just down right patronising and ignorant of me, so i'll just voice my concern rather than lecture you. Having said that...(here we go) you should try and write more when you get the urge or need, expressing yourself is a better way.
Anyhow lecture over, i just feel it's a shame when you are quite clearly very smart and your gift for writing is second to none, far more advanced than mine and i'm in my 'early' late twenties. Your posts have everything in them.....they hold attention throughout, not to mention some are laugh out loud worthy, even to a miserable fool like me. You're a gem indeed, but 'when your names with the best, will my name be on the guestlist?

take care miss fox.....
hello to everyone who reads this!

Kes roaring from the stalls, again!
xxx

FRED UP -- Saturday March 29 2003, @10:11AM (#56978)
(User #3917 Info)

Re:Hello... by rallen (Score:1) Sunday March 30 2003, @05:04AM

yes i know exactly whatcha mean (Score:1)

i used to do a lot of cutting myself up, too. at first just a little here and there, then it got to be a lot, and it went on till i was 19 or so. thats when i started seeing someone who noticed it, and i felt embarassed enough by it that i stopped. sometimes i felt like it was cleansing me, exorcising my demons, maybe. other times i did it to punish myself for being a horrible person. i still feel the compulsion from time to time, but now i punish myself with housework rather than razor blades. i really wish i had never done it though. i have a few scars even still, and they are an unpleasant reminder.
things will get better. we all still get depressed and stuff, but in time we find better ways to cope with it, and better friends to understand us.

xx

melaise821 <reversethis-{moc ... {ta} {g_eidolem}> -- Saturday March 29 2003, @09:22PM (#57032)
(User #6304 Info)
keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile

stop (Score:1)

I was in an accident a couple years ago and my arms were cut up pretty bad. Sometimes people look at my arms and I know what they're thinking. But I never cut myself. I hate it. I hate it so much I wear long sleeves most of the time. I don't know what my point is in telling you this. But all I know is I hate people thinking that about me. I don't know why you'd want them to. I'm guessing that you just need the attention because that's all you're getting from it and I'm sorry if that's the case.
~ wllw

Anonymous -- Sunday March 30 2003, @10:21AM (#57064)