senior year finally started... it's the end of the second week and already i'm swamped. i spend all of these last couple weeks studying, working, and moving into a place of my own.
never lived on my own before, and i like it tons more than i thought i would.
i especially enjoy: not closing the door when i'm in the bathroom, walking around in boxers and a bra, and turning my stereo up. plus, since i don't have to worry about roommates walking in on me, i can dance to my music in my silly white-girl way.
just passed the three year mark with the boyfriend... things aren't so good right now though. whilst i was in alaska this summer he became very good friends with this chick named angelique, who is super nice, and sexy, and non threatening cause she's a lesbian. the thing is, i feel as though i've been replaced. he talks to her and hangs out with her more than he does with me. he seems enamoured with her style, attitude, and--in a way, her inacessibility. they've developed this weird "chasing amy" type relationship and for the first time, i feel jealous. we've talked about it before and he was shocked that i felt that way, blah blah blah, he loves me blah blah... i feel like he's cheating. without the sex. which is almost worse, cause sex is just physical. emotional cheating... unforgivable.
and there's this DJ at the college station who has a show right before mine... his name is vinnie and is seriously one of the cutest guys in the world. he has that shy, yet sincere thing going on. i love nervous guys. it's cute. i think he likes me too cause he always flirts with me. i find i think about vinnie more than my boyfriend... probably just an escape and nothing really more.
meanwhile all my friends are getting engaged or married and when i think of it i panic. i used to always say, even in junior high school, that i would never get married. i somehow always felt that way. i have my moments with my boyfriend where i really do want to spend the rest of my life with him, but those are fleeting and usually occur when i'm tired or drunk.
so then, why do i date at all? seems like a waste of time, money, and emotional resources.
what can i say, i like guys.