Morrissey-solo
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posted by
davidt
on Friday June 01 2001, @09:15AM
sleeper writes:
This appeared as a full page in BIG BROTHER MAGAZINE #74 (Jun 01). 'am' is short for amateur skateboarder. The differences between professional skateboards (like Tony Hawke) is they get paid money for skateboarding in tournaments, while amateur boarders get promotional skateboards, clothes, etc, but basically do not get paid money skating. The writer of the article, I think his name is Dave Carnie, one of the editors of Big Brother Magazine, and apparently the owner (?) of Whale Cock skateboarding. --- WHALE COCK The Skateboard Is Dead Welcomes Its New Am Morrissey It was upon leaving The Cat and the Fiddle, a Hollywood English-style pub, with two friends, Aaron and Allan, that I made eye contact with the shy Manchester poet sitting quietly in the dark corner of the beer garden with two companions. "Holy shit!" I said once we were on the curb, "That was Morrissey!" In utter disbelief, Aaron returned to the beer garden and nearly walked right up to Morrissey before returning and saying, "You're right. Nice call." (more) I went and got my camera and asked Aaron to take a picture of me with my idol. Allan said, "you should pull your dick out for the photo." I heartily agreed, but as I approached Morrissey's table, all feelings of adversity left me, and I felt as if I were a little girl. Without saying his name, I extended my hand and squeaked, "I'm a big fan of yours." I noticed that one of his companions was a young Asian girl, his other guest I'm at a complete loss to which sex it belonged. He took my hand and shook it limply. His hands were soft. "Would you mind if I took a picture with you?" I asked, but before I had even finished the question, he was already rising. There was a weariness in his eyes and movements, like he had answered this request a million times before. Later, Allan would say, I used to think Morrissey was a prick, but that changed my opinion of him. He stood up to have his picture taken with you. That was really cool." Aside from the ravages of time, of which I thought this gentle man would forever remain immune, and the gray in his hair and sideburns, he looked exactly how he was in the countless pictures I've seen of him. He was smartly dressed in a pair of jeans, with a green wool sweater pulled over a white collar shirt. As I put my arm around him and drew him to me, I asked, "So, what are you doing in L.A.?" What else could I say? "Just having a drink." He said in his cute little Manchester accent. After the picture was taken, I thanked him and despite my yearning to sing Smiths' lyrics to prove I was indeed a fan, I waved goodbye. But before I left, a peculiar thing happened. I turned and said, "I love you." I love you? What the fuck? I never say shit like that. True, I do love Morrissey, but you don't say that to someone. I mean dudes don't say that to dudes. I've thought deeply on the incident, and I've decided that Morrissey has magic powers over men. He can make men fall in love with him. I know it sounds strange, but how else could you explain the countless number of men who have rushed the stages of his shows and kissed the little man, given him flowers and no doubt professed their love to him? I've decided this is not a bad thing, and I have given myself over to my love of Morrissey and his magic powers; in so doing, I have made him the first am on the Whale Cock team. You will be mesmerized by his magic powers and fall in love with Whale Cock skateboards. Article and scan from Sleeper, originally posted at his site, Recycled Papers.
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"Whale Cock welcomes its new am, Morrissey" (Big Brother Magazine #74, Jun '01)
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He knows I'd love to see him... (Score:1)
However, I don't really let that cat out of the bag very often.
(User #1115 Info)
What an Adorable Lil' Story (Score:1)
Quite endearing, yes.
(User #58 Info)
i told ya! (Score:0)
/slashy
hehe (Score:1)
(User #249 Info)
goin to Cat'n Fiddle... to raise hell!!! (Score:0)
Hey, just kiddin', celebs have rights to privacy, duh!
Valley girl, she is a valley girl....
Ricki Lake
Whalecock? Some boys are bigger than others... (Score:1)
In any case, this article made me laugh aloud on a hectic workday. I love that this skater guy is a Smiths fan and I love that he blurted out, "I love you." How can one not smile at that?
(User #63 Info | http://www.thebluegirl.com/)
very cool (Score:1)
(User #2948 Info | http://www.musicaltaste.com/)
keep it in your pants (Score:1)
Did he think that such a little thing makes such a big difference? Most people keep their brains between their legs.
(User #2420 Info)
Jake got a sex change (Score:1)
Ps This story made me feel warm and fuzzy
(User #430 Info)
morrissey is beautiful (Score:1)
as always loving morrissey,
(User #2182 Info)
cool! (Score:1)
(User #1086 Info)
I Just Want My Chance......... (Score:1)
(User #2713 Info)
Dave Carnie (Score:1, Informative)
Two years ago i met Dave Carnie because he was at a demo in the shop in my town. I knew the guys who worked at the shop, so the invited me to come down and hang out with the guys. Dave Carnie was hilarious..up until the point that he purposely shit his pants..well i guess it was kinda funny.
Seeing this i was kinda surprised that he liked Morrissey, but than again alot of skateboarders like Moz and the Smiths. Panic was in Jackass and that's pretty much the same group as the Big Brother guys. The kid Bam who is sometimes on Jackass has been seen wearing gold lame' from time to time too.
i can tell you that Morrissey has a fair share of support from the skateboarding community. Although i have been called a fag before for having Nowhere Fast and Moz written on my board..heh..
I Just Want My Chance!(correction) (Score:1)
(User #2713 Info)
You lucky bastard! (Score:1)
(User #2789 Info | http://www.morrisseymusic.com/)
one question (Score:0)
Morrissey and special powers over men... (Score:1)
It is a great story!!
(User #827 Info)
Damn (Score:1)
(User #2910 Info | http://rob29.8m.com)
Eyes are twitching (Score:1)
wonderful that he realised that it is okay
(and more than natural) to feel love for a
man. People are so weird about that. Morrissey
is the perfect example of universal love.
Male or Female don't really matter, and the
spiritually advanced know this. Love encompasses
both, it is pure energy, and vastly beautiful.
Love is not always sexual, so all of you guys
out there criticising one another for being a
"fag" should grow up a bit and be more open to
emotion.
(User #1820 Info)
whales? (Score:0)
Congrats! (Score:1)
(User #1453 Info)
always ready with the winning smile (Score:1)
(User #36 Info)
people say the darnest things!!!!!!! (Score:1)
(User #2516 Info)
Jake Walters (Score:0)