Pin the Name on the Yogi
by, August 20, 2012 at 02:33 AM (377 Views)
*Update September 29, 2012 ~ The Overheated, Oversexed Cult of Bikram Choudhury
It's been a long time since I've poked fun at a group or subculture. Oh wait, I did just write a snarky piece about pretentious philosophers. Anyhow, it feels like a long time. And it has been a while since I crucified spiritualists and castigated climbers. Sometimes, it just feels good to say what you really think. There's nothing wrong with vocalizing an opinion as long as you focus on an acquired status such as one's religion, hobby, or profession, rather than an ascribed one such as their gender, sexual orientation, race, or height. You get the idea, right? So anyhow, here is my next target ~male yoga instructors.
Actor Vince Vaughn stated, “I had a girlfriend in Los Angeles who took me to a yoga class. While it was going on I was saying to myself, ‘Is this really happening?’ It was like the instructor was making all these moves and he was basically dry humping the girls. Nobody batted an eye. I felt like I was in ‘The Twilight Zone’.” That's pretty creepy.
And then there's SusieHulaHoop, a blogger and yoga student, who writes, "Male yoga instructors contort you into awkward positions with little or no regard for how it may affect your feminine mystique. For example last night our slightly goofy substitute instructor made us do this thing that, well, sucked air into my vagina like a freakin' bellows." Clearly that should be against the law. Hehe.
Both of those accounts paint a grim picture of male yoga instructors. And of course there are more horror stories to be found. But what I want to focus on here is their yogarific names. Were they given these names at birth or are they pseudo names adopted once they took to the mat?
I suppose it would be more humorous to learn that they are their actual birth names, because so many fit the image of what a yogi is all about. It's as if they were destined, because of their surnames, to teach yoga. Below is a list of some famous yogis. See if you can match the yogi to his photo. I threw in some extra pics for fun.
1. David Life
2. John Friend
3. Baron Baptiste
4. Bikram Choudhury
5. Nico Luce
Answers: 1F, 2H, 3C, 4D, 5I