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  1. I see the world and it makes me puke

    I see the world It makes me puke

    I came into the kitchen singing this lyric/song. It was early morning and my daughter was at her homework desk in the connected living room. She laughed aloud at that line and asked if it was a real song. I giggled and told her, yeah it's a song but it has a very redeeming next line. I restarted the song from the first line and sung it again to her. She was able hear the total context with the "look at you" and "someone to soothe me" ...
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  2. It's been three years and one day...

    ...since my last confession/blog entry.

    What's changed? Quite a few things, in fact... (The large majority of which I really don't want to talk about here.)

    The last time I posted, I had three close friends that I'd known for about fifteen years. I haven't spoken to any of them since before my second surgery in summer of 2013... Let's just say that you really do learn who your friends are during the low depths of your life.

    p.s. Leather leather leather, ...
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  3. Hopeless,Useless,Loser

    by , January 22, 2016 at 05:34 AM (So Far From Where I Intended To Go)
    Another year has begun and here we still are.The meds have been upped and here we are.Maybe I should give the higher dose a chance to kick in.I feel like deep,deep down in my heart I have given up.I`ve given up the chance to have a somewhat normal life.I will never have the kids the partner,husband,wife.I guess that`s what you get when you`ve never tried because you`re so afraid of getting hurt or rejected.I`ve also never tried because I`ve never felt good enough for anyone.Why try if you think ...
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  4. The 2016 Movie List

    Like the years before, this is an ongoing list. This one spans January 1, 2016 - December 31, 2016. Here are the other years' lists: 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011.


    I will rank each film from one to four stars.

    2016 Films:



    Non-2016 Films seen this year:

    Truth ~ 3

    Updated January 20, 2016 at 12:15 AM by realitybites

    Tags: film, movies Add / Edit Tags
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  5. On Writers and Writing, by Margaret Atwood

    " A gift is not weighed and measured, nor can it be bought. It canít be expected or demanded; rather it is granted, or else not. In theological terms itís a grace, proceeding from the fullness of being. " Margaret Atwood
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  6. Somniloquy. Sounds fancy.

    I spent the night with a friend last night and to my surprise this morning I woke up to this person standing over me and laughing.

    "What's so damn funny? Other than the obvious..."

    E: "I was listening to your end of a conversation."

    "What conversation? My God it's bright in this room..."

    E: "Well, apparently this person knows his lines quite well but can't act to save his life. You're not sure if he's the ...
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  7. Call out to you.....

    Often, I find that my kids are so conditioned to just explore. After spending several minutes of just staring or observing something special for a period of time, I will have to look up, and often call out to another adventurous member of the family, who is now off seeing there own special something far off into the distance. They will shout, come look at this, and I oblige. It always interests me in what they are doing, thinking and looking at.

    ...
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  8. To gaze up in wonder

    Just what to say but, I am grateful for the experiences we share.







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  9. no title

    i wish i could get more people to care about me. or to get people to care about me at all. i just don't know how.
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  10. If we didn't think life could improve







    Never loosen the grip on our hand.

    A beautiful lyric from an acoustic version I heard on the forums today. Oh for how long a time I had pined for the ones who always loosened their grip on my hand. Falling away from me and not ever sure why they left. But the line is a personal favorite. One that I have ...
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