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Morrissey Q&A in Maxim Canada (Feb. 2009) - "...on his last day on Earth"
posted by davidt on Saturday January 17 2009, @07:00PM

 More_C writes:
I was thumbing through the magazine at a convenience store and came across this interview piece. Enjoy!
______________
Maxim
Rated: 24 Hours To Live

Morrissey
The famously forlorn British crooner and ex-Smiths frontman muses on his last day on Earth.

SO HOW DO YOU WANT TO GO? DOUBLE-DECKER BUS? TEN-TON TRUCK?
Concussed by a coconut.

WHICH OF YOUR SONGS PLAYS IN HEAVEN?
"Satan Rejected My Soul."

AND WHICH ONE PLAYS IN HELL?
"I Have Forgiven Jesus."

WHAT BOOK DO YOU REGRET NOT FINISHING?
"The Toilets Are Closed in Your Honour," an account of the life of Cressida Dick, deputy assistant commissioner of London's Metropolitan Police.

WHILE ALIVE, WHAT DID YOU SPEND MOST OF YOUR MONEY ON?
Legal fees.

WHO IN YOUR LIFE WOULD YOU MOST LIKED TO "KICK IN THE EYE"?
That meat-fed horror Jamie "Orrible" Oliver. If he's a master chef, then I'm Miss Brazil 1970.

WHAT WILL BE YOUR GREATEST LEGACY?
Thundering suavity.

ANY REGRETS ABOUT BEING OUTSPOKEN?
Whatever I said, I meant.

WHEN WERE YOU HAPPIEST?
At age 12 I could juggle a plate on a stick.

NAME ONE THING YOU'RE GLAD YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO DO AGAIN ON EARTH.
It will be worth being dead just to get away from Victoria Beckham.

WHAT'S THE WILDEST THING YOU EVER DID WHILE YOU WERE ALIVE?
I took some swimming lessons at the local baths.

WHAT'S YOUR LAST MEAL?
The disease of smallness--tea and toast.

DO YOU HAVE A DEATHBED CONFESSION?
I've never seen myself naked. It seemed impolite to look.

TO WHOM WOULD YOU WHISPER YOUR LAST GOODBYE?
To my very best friend...myself.
---
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Morrissey Q&A in Maxim Canada (Feb. 2009) - "...on his last day on Earth" | Log in/Create an Account | Top | 68 comments | Search Discussion
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The Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not responsible for them in any way.
Ha! (Score:0)
Those answers TRULY made me smirk, good ol' mozzer!
Anonymous -- Saturday January 17 2009, @07:19PM (#319085)
[ Reply to this comment ]
    keep me in mind (Score:0)
    The man is very humorous, cleaver, & witty. No one else on this earth is like Morrissey! Seriously, his last day on earth and the days following that will be devastating. While on this planet, I hope Moz feels the magnitude of just how much he is loved. VIVA MORRISSEY
    Anonymous -- Saturday January 17 2009, @07:47PM (#319088)
    [ Reply to this comment ]
    Perfect. (Score:1)
    Right on point...and a perfect jab at Jamie Oliver. Fantastic
    Neckdeep -- Saturday January 17 2009, @08:09PM (#319090)
    (User #14740 Info)
    [ Reply to this comment ]
      great one-liners (Score:2, Interesting)
      i've always loved his simple Q & A interviews like this, even though we walk away with no substantial information.
      eugenius -- Saturday January 17 2009, @08:11PM (#319091)
      (User #1665 Info)
       I'm almost sure you can do better than that.
      [ Reply to this comment ]
      xoxo (Score:0)
      I'm gonna sit on his face. *smirks*

      Anonymous -- Saturday January 17 2009, @08:32PM (#319093)
      [ Reply to this comment ]
      • Re:xoxo by Anonymous (Score:0) Sunday January 18 2009, @03:37AM
        So much for that boycott of Canada..... (Score:0)
        What gives?
        Anonymous -- Saturday January 17 2009, @08:45PM (#319095)
        [ Reply to this comment ]
        How long does he get to answer those things? (Score:1)
        Over the phone or "fax me them when you're done"? If these are off-the-cuff answers then I'd say the man's a comic genius: official.
        maurice -- Sunday January 18 2009, @01:34AM (#319104)
        (User #6984 Info)
        [ Reply to this comment ]
        Brilliant (Score:1)
        Great Moz wit, thoroughly enjoyable!
        ejcurtis100 -- Sunday January 18 2009, @03:23AM (#319108)
        (User #14232 Info)
        [ Reply to this comment ]
        • Re:Brilliant by Ponyracer (Score:1) Sunday January 18 2009, @03:27AM
          Coconut violence (Score:2, Funny)
          It's funny he chose that as his way to go -- just last night I was watching Rowdy Roddy Piper humiliate and smash Jimmy Snuka in the head with that very food item.
          king leer -- Sunday January 18 2009, @03:26AM (#319109)
          (User #80 Info)
          [ Reply to this comment ]
          Love it! (Score:0)
          This is Genius! Miss Brazil 1970. Rock on Mozza!
          Boxers71 -- Sunday January 18 2009, @04:27AM (#319115)
          (User #20608 Info)
          [ Reply to this comment ]
            I live in Canada and picked up the magazine (Score:0)
            Nothing there - this is a fake
            Anonymous -- Sunday January 18 2009, @06:37AM (#319119)
            [ Reply to this comment ]
            Very entertaining. (Score:0)
            Shame I can't say the same thing about YOR.
            Anonymous -- Sunday January 18 2009, @08:19AM (#319127)
            [ Reply to this comment ]
              Brilliant answers (Score:1)
              Cause every thing that you say rings true!!
              Far -- Sunday January 18 2009, @10:09AM (#319130)
              (User #21525 Info)
              [ Reply to this comment ]
              quite simply Morrissey's wittiest 'interview' (Score:0)
              in years.
              let's hope this filters through to the lyrics pretty soon. I really miss the humour...
              Anonymous -- Sunday January 18 2009, @12:49PM (#319137)
              [ Reply to this comment ]
              and if you must go to work tomorrow (Score:0)
              love you morrissey, no one will ever write lyrics as pure as you...xx
              Anonymous -- Sunday January 18 2009, @01:37PM (#319141)
              [ Reply to this comment ]
                Amuse-bouche (Score:2, Funny)
                Delightful nibbles to whet the appetite for what will hopefully be an extensive series of scandalous interviews.

                Interviews which, by their indelicate candour and wanton disregard for modern conversational etiquette, will shake the very foundations of bourgeois convention.

                Or maybe not.

                BrummieBoy * -- Sunday January 18 2009, @01:41PM (#319143)
                (User #11602 Info)
                 Every sibilant syllable: Copyright: AndrewGMooney. 11.09.1960. Brum. Eng-Eire-Land
                [ Reply to this comment ]
                Not bothered about the interview... (Score:1)
                I just love this 'photo'.

                Hmmm. Meeting Morrissey in front of the gravestones... dressed in black... All my Moz/Buffy the Vampire Slayer fantasies have finally been given some ammunition!

                I'm kidding... I don't ever think about Moz in a kind of sexy cool Vampire way.

                But I might now...

                Mmmmmm.

                Kitty3780 -- Sunday January 18 2009, @01:57PM (#319145)
                (User #17786 Info | http://www.myspace.com/kitty3780 )
                 "There is something I wanted to tell you..."
                [ Reply to this comment ]
                Ugh. (Score:0, Troll)
                His attitude becomes less enchanting as he (and I) gets older.
                Anonymous -- Sunday January 18 2009, @07:45PM (#319156)
                [ Reply to this comment ]
                • 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
                And after all this time.... (Score:0)
                He is STILL D'MAN

                Sheridan
                Anonymous -- Sunday January 18 2009, @10:33PM (#319159)
                [ Reply to this comment ]
                  Remarkable (Score:2, Interesting)

                  the Victoria stab was hilarious :D

                  Morrissey's dark humour is just irreplaceable. 3
                  Dior -- Sunday January 18 2009, @11:26PM (#319161)
                  (User #18985 Info)
                  [ Reply to this comment ]
                    old photo (Score:1, Informative)
                    The photo of Morrissey in Maxim is not new but 5 years old.

                    It was taken by Hamish Brown for the NME's Morrissey comeback interview when Quarry was released, around April 2004. They'll have probably bought if off an agency and did the graveyard montage themselves (if you look at picture credits up the side).
                    Anonymous -- Monday January 19 2009, @03:18AM (#319166)
                    [ Reply to this comment ]
                    • Re:old photo by king leer (Score:1) Monday January 19 2009, @03:29AM
                      "To my very best friend...myself" (Score:1)
                      Well, he's at least managed to befriend himself.

                      "in the midst of life we are in debt etc."
                      MILVA -- Monday January 19 2009, @06:09AM (#319169)
                      (User #12729 Info)
                       Trust me. I already lived twice.
                      [ Reply to this comment ]
                        Saying goodbye to myself (Score:0)
                        I find Morrissey's last answer very moving and profound. That's what I like about Morrissey - he makes such complex observations with the minimum fuss. Yamaha
                        Anonymous -- Monday January 19 2009, @06:13AM (#319170)
                        [ Reply to this comment ]
                          Hmmm! (Score:0)
                          Always fun to read!!
                          Cheers to the great Mozza!
                          Anonymous -- Monday January 19 2009, @08:04AM (#319180)
                          [ Reply to this comment ]
                            What a fucking hypocrite!!!! (Score:0)
                            I thought he was boycotting Canada! What a fucking fairweather boycotter. Obviously, he's decided to make cash off Canadian fans afterall, despite baby seals being slaughtered.

                            I guess Morrissey doesn't care about animals as much as he does money or his fame.

                            Asshole.
                            Anonymous -- Monday January 19 2009, @08:39AM (#319182)
                            [ Reply to this comment ]
                            Re:They club baby seals in Canada (Score:3, Funny)
                            OMG Kate you are soooooooooo annoying.
                            Either you are the most annoying girl on here or you are in fact Morrissey himself.
                            Anonymous -- Saturday January 17 2009, @11:01PM (#319101)
                            [ Reply to this comment | Parent ]
                            Re:They club baby seals in Canada (Score:1)
                            Ugh. I should have mentioned "Maxim" only. Now I along with other Canuck fans must endure this off-topic diatribe.
                            More_C <{cw_seid} {at} {yahoo.ca}> -- Sunday January 18 2009, @08:17AM (#319126)
                            (User #21738 Info)
                             When you feel happy, I'm so far from your mind
                            [ Reply to this comment | Parent ]
                          • 4 replies beneath your current threshold.
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