I am glad you really studied the facts before you wrote this review...

"When Last I Spoke To Carol" - Morrissey/Whyte

Good grief. What a frightful mess.

This review I mean. There's no attempt to engage emotionally with the new 'texts' musically or lyrically. Instead the opus is used as a sounding board for a lot of flawed ruminations. And he/she/it/they reminisce about ye olden days. How exciting. A deeply inadequate review(er).

I shall save the 'definitive review' of Years of Refusal until the Official Release date as I don't want that Jesse Tobias coming on and having a hissy fit at me. Never mind the 'thieving bastards' who download your album, Jesse: The beast has escaped to be captured, tortured and mauled by a trolling 'savant' such as this.

Never mind Morrissey's putative retirement plans: This cultural analyst is so remiss and inadequate as to suggest a job offer reviewing Music and Culture at either the NME or Grauniad is imminent.

Don't click. Don't read. Don't give them any 'website hits'. Do not feed the trolls. Leave that specialist task to me.

.."What I think of Morrissey (he's a racist)" essay instead of a review of the actual album. An actual fan would know that Alain Whyte hasn't played on stage with Morrissey since 2004.

Still The Quietus are desperate for hits, haven't been doing too well recently have they.

What an absolutely fucking wank review. It smacks of "look how witty and complicated my language is OH GOD I'LL BE WRITING FOR THE GUARDIAN ONE DAYNNNGGHHHHHHOHGODI'MJUSTSOCLEVERNNGGUUGHH

yes..very poor 'review?'

You meant "task master", right?

Nothing of value here.
Not a bit!

this review is no better or worse than any of the others which have recently surfaced. And like those other reviews, it lays down certain threads for discussion which will no doubt be a feature of later reviews (eg, that 'YOR' is better than both the last two LPs), and which will be expanded upon by better writers.

OK, sure, he does make comparisons to The Smiths - but these are not always negative. (Although if he thinks The Smiths didn't sound a bit like Dire Straits on occasion, well, he should dig out 'Money Changes Everything'!) And any reviewer who's brave enough to state an opinion like this - "The closest [The Smiths] ever came to a 'classic' album (not counting the flawless compilation Hatful Of Hollow) was Meat Is Murder because it was not hamstrung by awful music hall schtick like 'Frankly Mr. Shankly' or the atrociously chipper sounding 'Girlfriend In A Coma'" - is OK is my books. (Yes, 'Meat" is my favourite Smiths LP!)

Terence Stomp

Umm, the interviewer lists one of the tracks as "Someone's Squeezing My Skull". I do believe it's "Something", not "Someone".

This is trying so hard to be Taylor Parkes' "Sound of the Smiths" review, only instead of an actual conversation with the music, it's an attempt (can that ending really be irony? I doubt it is, despite what this writer clearly thinks it is) to converse with Morrissey, who isn't writing back.

This "I bitch and bitch and bitch, but here's one redeeming kernel of love that proves I'm really there for you in the crunch; it's just that you've raised my standards, and can't always live up, like any hero" style of Morrissey review is ass-hard to do and this one fails.

Alain Whyte hammering his guitars at the Ringleaders tours

I get really iritated of the simple mistakes
about time and members on intervieuws lately,
it seems it doesn't care, I personally find it
annoying writing a story and you didn't do
your homework before

If I may not be around writing dull and silly
comment [with the typing error cause of me bad english though I always had good point at school
for English, in Holland ofcourse, as you must know by now]
I must have fainted and lying with me head on the keyboard, again in a coma, but I'm afraid
and I'm truly honoust, getting brain attack, it's
in the family line at me holy dad's family size,
all are gone, cause off bad vains, the blood takes the inner bruises with it all stuff up, so
there's a serious blocking of the blood system which causes brain or hear attacks, me dad was in his late 40's when they helped him twice in 4
years to get it pushed away with a long wire,
oh I'm way of topic and dunno medical terms

my health condition is getting worse, and Alain
wasn't playing the Ringleader tour