I originally anonymously posted a Babelfish translation of this article in the Fury thread, and now I've decided to try out my extremely minimal knowledge of Italian, coupled with some idle Internet/book research. I certainly don't claim that this translation is totally accurate, but I think I got the basic ideas across. Still, please, any Morrissey fans who speak both English and Italian, help me/us out. I could be pretty off the mark.

Words in bold brackets ([abcd]) are terms I've attempted to add for clarity, but it's possible that my attempts at clarification would just cause further confusion. Okay, so, I think this hot-shit article, translated from this Italian fanzine (blog?) article/post goes something like:

So, then. Amongst the recent reports of having spotted Morrissey in the Capital [city], one has come from a journalist from Mondo Oltro*, who, for the sake of his country, asks to remain anonymous.

The place: a gay bar called Sphinx. A bar, yes, but with crosses of Saint Andrea [,not to mention] staff and customers with bare ass cheeks. In sum, a leather bar.

Morrissey was with a friend who introduced him to a famous writer and journalist, whose name Mondo Oltro will not state, so as not to incur complaints. Alternative meaning for preceding sentence: …whose name Mondo Oltro will not state, so as not to cause [legal?] action. OR: …whose name Mondo Oltro will not state, so as not to start an argument. The word here is 'querele,' one of language's sexiest words if I do say so, but anyway. The pair chatted amiably without having the faintest idea who the other person was.

Our ‘oltretto’/journalist/blogger described the Italian writer as ‘in his seventies, gaunt, and having Christina Aguilera’s skin color.’ Moz was ‘very Gene Gnocchi, as usual.’** The two drank bottled Beck’s beer, and chatted under a TV screen, which displayed two fat men licking the boots of another fat man. Neither of the two has visited the darkroom [back room?] or the Dungeon, the room of torture.

The mutual friend introduced Moz to the writer as ‘a famous rock singer’. The writer was visibly ‘unimpressed’.

Could it be true? Mondo Oltro limits itself to reporting sightings, like UFOlogists do.

*’oltretto’ is a nickname for journalists/bloggers who work for the Italian fanzine/fansite Mondo Oltro.
** For a picture of Italian actor Gene Gnocchi, look here. He’s that guy at the top.

True or not, I thought this story was way hot and deserved a bump out of the Billy Fury thread. Certainly I’m not the only person who’s imagined Morrissey near a dungeon door in some classy-yet-lurid Italian gay bar.