Mark Simpson was at one of the monthy Morrissey nights at the Star And Garter in Manchester earlier this year as many of you will know and read from his book before the music commenced upstairs.

He did very well, sold a few books, and seemed a lovely man.

So let's presume he is.

But in interview, my Goodness, he reeks of dramatic quotes and turns the whole thing into a farce with his Morrissey-non-esqu comments; "In a straw hat. In York, Northern England." being the first I read before I scanned the rest of the interview.

For those unfamiliar with Morrissey he'll simply sound rather silly and unreadable; for those fans he's selling the book to he'll sound a bit laughable and slightly pathetic.

Mind, he's a big bloke so I might not say so to his face.

It seems Simpson has attempted to adopt Morrissey-ism as his chosen way of life. He's adopted the language without the wit; the style without the substance; the obsession without the irony; the "suffering" aesthetic without the artistic ambition. In short, Simpson is a bore. I hear Simpsons are two-a-penny in So. Cal.