Since its creation in 1991 La Route du Rock has welcomed the biggest artists of independent rock. From Sonic Youth to Franz Ferdinand, The Cure to PJ Harvey, the list is long. Only one artist is missing: Morrissey. On May 25th 2009 Morrissey yet again declined the invitation of the festival director. In an attempt to rectify this situation here is a missive that François Floret, the director of La Route du Rock, would really like to send to the ex singer of The Smiths:
Dear Morrissey,
So here we are. For years we have tried to bring you to La Route du Rock. It's a lovely festival, you know. However, you have always declined our invitations. Certainly, each time, very politely. Once it was because your mother was ill and you didn't want to leave her alone in hospital; we understood, be assured. Another time it was because you were recording a new album - know that we were the happiest of all to hear this news. Unconditional fans, we are glad when you have work to do.
But frankly Morrissey - now you are having a laugh. You don't know what you are missing. If there is a festival that you should rush to in your mocassins it is La Route du Rock. You who love animals, you can play on our stage with the sight of sheep before you. I do not talk of the crowd who come in their numbers each year, but the lambs who run about above the crowd on the old walls of the fort.
We know that you are a vegetarian - we can serve you some soup in our canteen. We serve the best ones in the region, notably one with mint and lentils, which the singer of The Ting Tings ate twice last year. In your lodge we will install a large mirror - just for you - so that you can apply your hair gel. You see - we do things well. And then you can go walk along the old city walls of Saint Malo - it is wonderful.
You can walk on the beach where we organise concerts and show off the marvelous muscles that you displayed on the cover of your most recent album. You would have every one talking, both boys and girls.
In the theatre that we hire you could attend music discussions, watch some additional concerts or just have a drink with a view of the sea, it's always a nice thing to do. So if you do not like a band you can always look at the sea gulls. If you so desire you can go to the casino next door to spend the huge sum that we will pay you!
Otherwise you can play football in the tournaments we organise on the beach. Its a nice proposition that we put to you no? Next year you surely cannot refuse us? Of course sometimes we have rain - i know that can put more than one person off... However that is a given.
I think some people would ask for their money back if they didn't have a little rainfall during the festival. But don't worry we will have a umbrella to cover you from your lodge to the stage so that you do not get wet. You know Billy Corgan cost us a lot of money, but he came. So Morrissey, is it a yes...?
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