An open letter to Morrissey from La Route du Rock
posted by davidt on Wednesday August 19 2009, @09:00AM

S J Banks writes:
I recently attended La Route du Rock - a festival in the Brittany region of France. After passing the bag search i was given a free news letter. In it was a nice letter to Morrissey imploring him to come to their festival next year. This is my translation:
Since its creation in 1991 La Route du Rock has welcomed the biggest artists of independent rock. From Sonic Youth to Franz Ferdinand, The Cure to PJ Harvey, the list is long. Only one artist is missing: Morrissey. On May 25th 2009 Morrissey yet again declined the invitation of the festival director. In an attempt to rectify this situation here is a missive that François Floret, the director of La Route du Rock, would really like to send to the ex singer of The Smiths:

Dear Morrissey,

So here we are. For years we have tried to bring you to La Route du Rock. It's a lovely festival, you know. However, you have always declined our invitations. Certainly, each time, very politely. Once it was because your mother was ill and you didn't want to leave her alone in hospital; we understood, be assured. Another time it was because you were recording a new album - know that we were the happiest of all to hear this news. Unconditional fans, we are glad when you have work to do.

But frankly Morrissey - now you are having a laugh. You don't know what you are missing. If there is a festival that you should rush to in your mocassins it is La Route du Rock. You who love animals, you can play on our stage with the sight of sheep before you. I do not talk of the crowd who come in their numbers each year, but the lambs who run about above the crowd on the old walls of the fort.

We know that you are a vegetarian - we can serve you some soup in our canteen. We serve the best ones in the region, notably one with mint and lentils, which the singer of The Ting Tings ate twice last year. In your lodge we will install a large mirror - just for you - so that you can apply your hair gel. You see - we do things well. And then you can go walk along the old city walls of Saint Malo - it is wonderful.

You can walk on the beach where we organise concerts and show off the marvelous muscles that you displayed on the cover of your most recent album. You would have every one talking, both boys and girls.

In the theatre that we hire you could attend music discussions, watch some additional concerts or just have a drink with a view of the sea, it's always a nice thing to do. So if you do not like a band you can always look at the sea gulls. If you so desire you can go to the casino next door to spend the huge sum that we will pay you!

Otherwise you can play football in the tournaments we organise on the beach. Its a nice proposition that we put to you no? Next year you surely cannot refuse us? Of course sometimes we have rain - i know that can put more than one person off... However that is a given.

I think some people would ask for their money back if they didn't have a little rainfall during the festival. But don't worry we will have a umbrella to cover you from your lodge to the stage so that you do not get wet. You know Billy Corgan cost us a lot of money, but he came. So Morrissey, is it a yes...?

 
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An open letter to Morrissey from La Route du Rock | Log in/Create an Account | Top | 31 comments | Search Discussion
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another request for morrissey (Score:1, Funny)
please some over to my house and play a private concert just for me. thanks.

Anonymous -- Wednesday August 19 2009, @09:14AM (#338186)
  • oh also by Anonymous (Score:0) Wednesday August 19 2009, @09:16AM
    • Re:oh also by Sheridan Whitehead (Score:1) Wednesday August 19 2009, @06:10PM
    Beyond pity (Score:2, Funny)
    "So if you do not like a band you can always look at the sea gulls".

    If ever there was a clinching argument to play a festival, this has to be it...
    Anonymous -- Wednesday August 19 2009, @11:48AM (#338195)
      "having a laugh" (Score:1)
      LRDR: "Morrissey, you can play on our stage with the sight of sheep before you"

      M: "Julia? Where's Julia? I hope you're well" ;-)

      MILVA -- Wednesday August 19 2009, @12:46PM (#338198)
      (User #12729 Info)
      Trust me. I already lived twice.
        Das ist ja Toll. (Score:0)
        C'est magnifique! Bon Chance!

        (Go on Moz, go and bloody do it... !).
        Anonymous -- Wednesday August 19 2009, @01:02PM (#338199)
        Festivals suck! (Score:1, Insightful)
        The only venues M should play are small, standing clubs / halls. Festivals are horrible... you have to wait thru loads are bands you don't give a shit about just to see M! So don't do it!

        Coachella perhaps but only "in your mocassins"!
        Anonymous -- Wednesday August 19 2009, @01:43PM (#338200)
          Je suis Morrissey . . . (Score:2, Insightful)
          . . .et il est mon beau amour.

          Je voir pourquoi Morrissey, il ne viendra le festival pour c'est rien!

          C'est invitation est terrible et grossier!

          Bon soir mon ami. :)

          PS: Such poor manners as those expressed in said public missive to Morrissey, will not encourage his presence at this . . . this 'festival'.

          Piccadily -- Wednesday August 19 2009, @02:42PM (#338201)
          (User #22795 Info)
          It'll be okay (Score:1, Insightful)
          Oh come on, play for them Moz. AND PLAY FOR US IN L.A. MAN JEEEZE! I got a bunch of Mozzer animals you've been playing in front of for years that miss the moments. We are waitingggggg. Cardinals 2, Dodgers 0 Top of the 5th. Darn.
          bbgfe1 -- Wednesday August 19 2009, @07:44PM (#338211)
          (User #20028 Info)
            oooh. um. (Score:1, Insightful)
            ooooh, mentioning the mom thing was probably not the best idea.
            Anonymous -- Thursday August 20 2009, @12:38AM (#338214)
            • Re:oooh. um. by Anonymous (Score:0) Thursday August 20 2009, @01:59AM
              Festival (Score:2, Insightful)
              Well yes that should clinch it, act like idiots and reveal personal information about him. Morrissey should carry on refusing but leave the polite part out from now on.
              sarahT -- Thursday August 20 2009, @01:00AM (#338216)
              (User #14686 Info)
              • Re:Festival by sarahT (Score:1) Thursday August 20 2009, @04:42AM
                • 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
                Class Act (Score:0)
                Heh heh, I liked that letter. Very funny! If more people behaved like that towards Morrissey he might actually follow Sparks advice and lighten up a bit. I'd play that festival after receiving a letter that managed to be funny and insulting at the same time. Respect!
                I AM LEGEND
                Anonymous -- Thursday August 20 2009, @01:17AM (#338217)
                  "rush to in your mocassins" (Score:0)
                  Genius
                  Anonymous -- Thursday August 20 2009, @06:33AM (#338227)
                    mmm (Score:1)
                    do you not think it abit rude to air the reasons as to why he couldnt attend... such as his mothers illness i dont feeel this is any of our buissness
                    morrissette92 -- Thursday August 20 2009, @08:55AM (#338230)
                    (User #22654 Info)
                    • Re:mmm by Anonymous (Score:0) Thursday August 20 2009, @02:43PM
                      all of it. (Score:0)
                      bollocks!
                      Anonymous -- Thursday August 20 2009, @09:25AM (#338232)
                        I liked the letter. (Score:1, Insightful)
                        It was cute. For all we know, Morrissey may have been amused by it (if he read it).
                        Anonymous -- Thursday August 20 2009, @06:07PM (#338243)
                          Please, Please. (Score:1)
                          Manchester.

                          Another show in Manchester. Please.
                          Hello Indie -- Sunday August 23 2009, @06:14AM (#338271)
                          (User #13749 Info | http://inbuilt-guilt.livejournal.com/ )
                          What's the matter, boy? Don't you like clowns? Don't we make you laugh? Ain't we fucking funny?!
                            I wonder if... (Score:2, Insightful)
                            An "open letter" was the correct way to approach him. To me it's a bit of a mistake (if they'd ever really want him to appear) - as it makes his reasons for being there more of an arm twist than a true desire. Does this matter to most? Probably not...
                            fuckfase -- Sunday August 23 2009, @10:42AM (#338274)
                            (User #4299 Info)
                              lol (Score:0)
                              what's the funny accent on your "a"? You can't even spell "bastard" correctly? Well can you at least spell... your own name?
                              Anonymous -- Thursday August 20 2009, @01:55AM (#338219)
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