Morrissey-solo
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posted by
davidt
on Tuesday September 30 2003, @10:00AM
Morrissey&Piccadilly writes:
"15 things to say to piss off a Smiths fan. This article is in "Zero", a brazilian magazine. 1 - Morrissey is gay. 2 - Morrissey is so gay. 3 - Jhonny Marr was ok but the rest of the band was crap. 4 - Jhonny Marr was ok but he was not so good solo. 5 - "Rusholme Ruffians" is a copy of "(Marie's the name)His latest flame". 6 - Morrissey's maturity as a poet was reached in "Ouija Board, Ouija Board". 7 - They didn't need to say that they hated videoclips. The ones they left said it all. 8 - What touches people in the Smiths' discography is that cows sounds in the beginning of "Meat Is Murder". 9 - When I listen to the band I get so excited as andy Rourke used to get on stage. 10 - Morrissey still have time to complain about life and get a descent job. 11 - When Mick Ronson produced "Your arsenal" he was already severally affect by his disease and couldn't distinguish what as right from what was wrong. 12 - Did you buy the pillowcase that was been sold on the Latin-america tour? Did it really had a "Bite Here" in the corner? 13 - You that is a fan: can you explain why Morrissey used a band-aid in the nipple in the "November Spawned a Monster" video? 14 - If The Buzzcocs didn't exist, Manchester would be irrelevant today. 15 - Morrissey is really gay." That article was very stupid. If the person who wrote thought that it was going to be funny, he was way wrong.
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Brazilian article: "15 things to say to piss off a Smiths fan"
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twelve (Score:0)
mildly amusing only.
homophobic certainly.
Accurate (Score:0)
this article - try harder please! (Score:0)
I've heard people here, and other fans say thay morrissey is gay many a time.
The Manchester comment can't piss anyone off because it seems the journalist doesn't know any other bands from that city but the smiths and buzzcocks - one would just laugh at the ignorance, same with 6.
11 - surely metioning southpaw or maladjusted as being shite would be more provocative.
Um, well I agree with 8. its not the ONLY thing that touches me, but still.
I was expecting to be annoyed by this article, 3 is slightly irritating, 10 might be if it wasn't so poorly translated. (sorry).
Ha! (Score:1)
Maybe I just don't take music as seriously as other people, and I can actually laugh about jokes like that...
Anyway, the translation was incredibly horrible, but, it was still understandable.
(User #7285 Info)
Brazilian Drop Out!? (Score:1, Insightful)
Grrr! (Score:2, Funny)
(User #2577 Info)
that was a gas (Score:0)
Oh - most of them are really good! (Score:1)
(User #256 Info)
I'll give my honest responses (Score:2, Interesting)
1 - Morrissey is gay.
perhaps
2 - Morrissey is so gay.
perhaps
3 - Jhonny Marr was ok but the rest of the band was crap.
I know Johnny Marr was in the band but this Jhonny guy... never heard of him.
4 - Jhonny Marr was ok but he was not so good solo.
see number 3
5 - "Rusholme Ruffians" is a copy of "(Marie's the name)His latest flame".
That is probably why Johnny Marr said it was
6 - Morrissey's maturity as a poet was reached in "Ouija Board, Ouija Board".
You obviously haven't heard "Journalists Who Lie"
7 - They didn't need to say that they hated videoclips. The ones they left said it all.
"Ask" video makes me laugh
8 - What touches people in the Smiths' discography is that cows sounds in the beginning of "Meat Is Murder".
Yeah.. whatever.. Double Quarter-pounder with cheese, por favor
9 - When I listen to the band I get so excited as andy Rourke used to get on stage.
You do heroine when you listen to the smiths?
10 - Morrissey still have time to complain about life and get a descent job.
I still has time to respond to this horrendous grammar and maintain a decent job.
11 - When Mick Ronson produced "Your arsenal" he was already severally affect by his disease and couldn't distinguish what as right from what was wrong.
So he produced a great album on his deathbed. Thanks Mick!
12 - Did you buy the pillowcase that was been sold on the Latin-america tour? Did it really had a "Bite Here" in the corner?
No. First off, the pillow cases were available in many US venues as well as the Lantin-American tour. Second, the homo-erotic joke was on the "Wide To Receive" shirt where the words were written across one's arse back in 1997.
13 - You that is a fan: can you explain why Morrissey used a band-aid in the nipple in the "November Spawned a Monster" video?
You that is a critic would know that it was so Beavis and Butthead would use the video on their show and Butthead would freak Beavis out by telling him the Morrissey shaved off his nipple.
14 - If The Buzzcocs didn't exist, Manchester would be irrelevant today.
You think its not already?
15 - Morrissey is really gay."
perhaps
(User #8415 Info)
well I thought it was funny! (Score:2)
"oh Morrissey, he's so DEPRESSING and MISERABLE".
But of course, WE know different :-)
(User #3503 Info)
Well... (Score:1)
(User #5103 Info | http://www.patcondell.net/)
Stupid article (Score:1)
(User #2713 Info)
Come on (Score:0)
He he he... (Score:1)
(User #7618 Info | http://www.myspace.com/anthonycutt)
The name of the article... (Score:0)
I'm from Brazil and a big Smiths fan.
It didn't piss me off because the name explains...
The guys lists what to say if you really want to piss a smiths fan. So if any of you/us got pissed he's probably right ain't he?
Not that any of that is true. He just want to piss someone off, and to do this we don't really need the truth, do we?
After all: Morrissey was very, very gay! And so what? His music was much, much better then any...let's say....Ricky Martin(uhhhh, vey "MACHO" stuff).
See ya'!
Nothing new (Score:2, Interesting)
(User #6676 Info)
number 1 (Score:2, Funny)
Who?
Van Morrison?
That guy from the Doors?
(User #220 Info)
Re: why not? (Score:0)
And what about:
"His voice is out of tune"
"He sounds miserable"
"Why do you have to listen to music like that?"
the author of this page is a huge Morrissey fan (Score:1)
http://super.abril.com.br/aberta/colunas/index_juke.html
(User #202 Info)
Re: Bandaid (Score:1)
(User #4808 Info)
Stupid but almost funny (Score:0)
The questions were really bad elaborated though.
Bloke in Blue (I don´t know why I am not registered anymore, Why is it so Dave?)
reader meet asshole (Score:0)
Humorists with downs syndrome (Score:0)
Sorry about the translation! (Score:0)
The Apple, Bandaid, & Chocolate Harmonica (Score:0)
The first, and most boring possibility is that he was out in the desert playing around with rocks, petrified trees, boulders, earth, terra firma, etc, and might have gotten a wee scratch, thus needing the bandaid. For example, the Teddy Bear bandaid he has got on the sleeve of "We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful" was said to have come from a real injury and was not just for aesthetics, though it did look cute.
Next, assuming that the bandaid was for affect/effect, meaning for cosmetic, and not medical purposes, I think we can't discuss it without talking about the entire context in which the bandaid was most notably displayed. There is that great sweeping pan right, where Moz has an apple corked in his mouth, bandaid on breast, and hands in his pockets, and head cocked to one side.
Very Vogue, strike a pose. Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone would have been proud of S.P.M.
Though, Muslim, and therefore, one who does not eat pork, I have an awful memory from my childood of seeing a pig roasting at some mock Hawaiian luau.
In the sick and arduous ritual of roasting this animal, a block of wood is placed in its mouth so that the animal maintains an opening wide enough for an apple that is placed in the mouth when it’s done cooking. Then they use heavy butcher’s twine to tie the legs where they want them. They set the pig up so that all of its feet are pointing straight forward and slightly splayed. They try to arrange it so that it sits upright and straight when it sits on the cooking grate.
HOW VILE!
Some decorate the pig as they see fit. In addition, to placing an apple in its mouth, they also use cherries on toothpicks for the eyes. Some put greens around the pig, like lettuce or parsley. Sunglasses are also used.
I AM GETTING NAUSEATED NOW!
Morrissey represents the Spineless Swine (hello Mullet). Perhaps, this was another salvo fired in the direction of the British Music Press. Perhaps, he was making a statement on animal rights. And, it may have been both, as Morrissey often uses words & imagery that function on multiple levels and have more than one meaning.
The bandaid, like a bra, represents modesty, dignitity. Moz is saying that though you (the NME) might roast me like a hog in your reviews of my solo work, and give us the knife when I'm done, and though this hurts me a bit, I will maintain a modicum of self-respect hence the bandaid.
Alternatively, or in addition, that though you (human beings) might murder this animal (which I represent), cook him in the most hideous of fashions, reducing yourself to savages, not just for roasting this animal, but also for the fun you are having in doing it, this animal has a soul, and will maintain its dignity, hence the bandaid.
There also may be bibilical references to Jesus dying on the cross present as well.
More simply, the Chocolate Harmonica just looked cool.
(User #8729 Info)
Larissa got AIDS (Score:0)
lsrael love you morrissey !!! (Score:0)
Why the bandaid? (Score:0)
Well, it worked, didn't it? (Score:1)
(User #162 Info)
for morrissey (Score:0)
Pakistan, Indian Sub-Continent, & Sri Lanka (Score:0)
(User #8729 Info)
10 Things To Say to Charm A Smiths Fan (Score:2, Funny)
I may be half a person, but trust me, the bits that count are full sized.
This night has opened my eyes, now how about you open your legs?
I don't mean to brag, but my meat is absolute MURDER.
Sheila take-a, Sheila take-a bow, and undo my pants while you’re down there....
You know, I actually have a patch kit for that punctured bicycle of yours.
Sing me to sleep, sing me to sleep. Feel free, to wake me, in the morning and jump on my bones....
Hello, I am the ghost of Trouble Joe, hung like a pretty white horse, some 18 inches or so...
Feel like Oscillating Wildly?
Oops, that's only nine isn't it...
(User #8427 Info)
Lol (Score:1)
(User #1967 Info)
My Top Three (Score:1)
1. All Morrissey Does is Whine.
(I hate this statement that comes out of
peoples mouths because usually they just heard
it somewhere.)
2. Morrissey doesn't have any rockin tunes.
(people who only heard some mtv music)
3. Morrissey is depressing.
(Oh yeah, so is looking at people like you
who just want to be entertained and not look at
life)
(User #7664 Info)
Irritated nipples (Score:1)
(User #712 Info)
The list is ok (Score:1)
1) This guy is faggot.
2) Do you like Morrissey? You are gay?
The list is partially funny. Just a little too long.
(User #791 Info)