The REAL Confessions Thread

[Ben Budd]

None of that self pitying shit, oh look at me I am a lonely Smiths fan bollocks. We want real, juicy, dirty, embarrassing confessions.

- Over 2008, I paid over £60 to subscribe to Match.com. I got two dates out of it, from there - one fuck. What a compete waste of time, I could have just paid for one of the birds near the S&G. Would have been less hassle.

Anyone else?

[nugz]

None of that self pitying shit, oh look at me I am a lonely Smiths fan bollocks. We want real, juicy, dirty, embarrassing confessions.

- Over 2008, I paid over £60 to subscribe to Match.com. I got two dates out of it, from there - one fuck. What a compete waste of time, I could have just paid for one of the birds near the S&G. Would have been less hassle.

Anyone else?

are you drunk again? are you gonna regret telling us this later?

cuz if so, too bad, i just quoted you. :p

[Ben Budd]

Sober and bored as fuck.

[bagface]

i'm a bad person and can't relate to anyone.

[nugz]

here's one. I have nothing but horrible christmases. i thought this year would be dfiferent but i gotta cancel my plans. now i will be alone on christmas. im gonna go get some wine now and drink until i pass out. i'll be back.

[Jukebox Jury]

None of that self pitying shit, oh look at me I am a lonely Smiths fan bollocks. We want real, juicy, dirty, embarrassing confessions.

- Over 2008, I paid over £60 to subscribe to Match.com. I got two dates out of it, from there - one fuck. What a compete waste of time, I could have just paid for one of the birds near the S&G. Would have been less hassle.

Anyone else?

Ben
Yes, you would have had a lot of change left from the birds near the S&G... Deanno said his 12 minutes only cost £15:D

Jukebox Jury

[Oh my god, it's Robby!]

I was married once long ago now, but it ended badly, so badly I doubt I will ever recover unless I meet a beautiful moz loving girl who likes me for me. :tears:
(ducking) http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/gulrober/icon_lol.gif

[CrystalGeezer]

here's one. I have nothing but horrible christmases. i thought this year would be dfiferent but i gotta cancel my plans. now i will be alone on christmas. im gonna go get some wine now and drink until i pass out. i'll be back.

No Florida? Why?

[You Ran Back to Maugham]

I had a pretty raunchy dream about someone on Solo the other night.

[CrystalGeezer]

I had a pretty raunchy dream about someone on Solo the other night.

So it must be someone who posts their photo.

[You Ran Back to Maugham]

So it must be someone who posts their photo.

Not necessarily. I have a vivid imagination.

[CrystalGeezer]

Not necessarily. I have a vivid imagination.

What did you guys do together?

[nugz]

No Florida? Why?

no.

it's really stupid. it's hard to explain. but...no.

[You Ran Back to Maugham]

What did you guys do together?

One of us got felt up.

[CrystalGeezer]

One of us got felt up.

Mmmm. Nice. You'd better wear protection in your dreams or else you might wind up having to care for a burrito the rest of your life. I'm sure you'll give it the love it needs though.

[fridaynightinoutpatients]

i am a lost maladjusted soul . i was raised by a drunken single mother who abused me in many more ways than i ever care to talk about here. so now i relive it by grasping for whatever affection i can muster. it is a vicous cycle. any questions?

life is a pigsty.

blahblahblah

[CrystalGeezer]

any questions?


Are you currently experiencing chest pain?

[iamnicola]

Sometimes other people's pain is the lulz.

[fridaynightinoutpatients]

yes. from the pneumonia being past around my house. thanks for the ever important question and for truly caring.

[iamnicola]

yes. from the pneumonia being past around my house. thanks for the ever important question and for truly caring.
Woah! Someone has a cactus stuck to their genitals.

[yesitis]

i once killed a sheep.

[iamnicola]

i once killed a sheep.
OMG! How and why?

[yesitis]

with a shotgun. to eat it.

[You Ran Back to Maugham]

i once killed a sheep.

And you can't help the way you feel?

[yesitis]

And you can't help the way you feel?

i can, but it's difficult.

[iamnicola]

with a shotgun. to eat it.
Okay. That's cool.

[fridaynightinoutpatients]

Woah! Someone has a cactus stuck to their genitals.

yeah and it feels soooooo good. wanna mock the pain that surrounds my heart you fucking miserable cunt?

[iamnicola]

yeah and it feels soooooo good. wanna mock the pain that surrounds my heart you fucking miserable cunt?
Sure, why not? Sounds like fun.

For the record, I am not a miserable cunt, but I am a happy cunt.

Get it right next time, Mr. Assface.

[CrystalGeezer]

yes. from the pneumonia being past around my house. thanks for the ever important question and for truly caring.

Do you think you're capable of loving?

[fridaynightinoutpatients]

Sure, why not? Sounds like fun.

For the record, I am not a miserable cunt, but I am happy cunt.

Get it right next time, Mr. Assface.

cute. i make a heart felt confession in this missrable fucking "new" thread and am pushed. you could not even begin to act like you know me. but thanks anyway because i truly love the cacti on my genitals...and my heart. it feels sooooo fucking good.

signed:

mr. assface

farewell.

[iamnicola]

cute. i make a heart felt confession in this missrable fucking "new" thread and am pushed. you could not even begin to act like you know me. but thanks anyway because i truly love the cacti on my genitals...and my heart. it feels sooooo fucking good.

signed:

mr. assface

farewell.
Mr. Assface,

Sorry about that. I don't know you. I would like to get to know you a little bit better. Now, I am going to ask you a bunch of questions and I want them answered immediately. Who is your Daddy and what does he do?

With love,
Happy Cunt

[The shbf]

i like the gif in your sig who is it? At 1st I thought it was Girls Aloud lol.

[You Ran Back to Maugham]

i like the gif in your sig who is it? At 1st I thought it was Girls Aloud lol.

It is. They'd be much more palatable if they were called Girls Quiet.

[The shbf]

It is. They'd be much more palatable if they were called Girls Quiet.

Thanks :)

I like Girls Aloud :D

[iamnicola]

It is. They'd be much more palatable if they were called Girls Quiet.
How dare you?!

[vicarinatutugal]

i like the gif in your sig who is it? At 1st I thought it was Girls Aloud lol.

YOU would, the dark haired one looks like she is having a fit. :rolleyes:

[Ellen]

yeah and it feels soooooo good. wanna mock the pain that surrounds my heart you fucking miserable cunt?

You should listen to How Soon is Now or summat. Life's not so bad.

There are so many confessions i could make. But i won't, for want of not sounding like YOU.

[j funk]

20% of me comes here in the hope of meeting females.

[bored]

I confess I'm actually reading this stuff because it's better than I thought it would be.

[The shbf]

YOU would, the dark haired one looks like she is having a fit. :rolleyes:

What can I say I love the boobies :D all shapes and sizes unless theyre fake then :sick:

Trying to remember the video its from though

[You Ran Back to Maugham]

Trying to remember the video its from though

"Wake Me Up"

How do I know this? Because I asked iamnicola. :o

[Oh my god, it's Robby!]

the 1st time i did i with a girl a cassette of
http://www.timboucher.com/journal/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/wham-city-make-it-big.jpg
this album was playing on my 'boombox'
weird huh, so i was connect Wham with losing my virginity :eek:

[The shbf]

"Wake Me Up"

How do I know this? Because I asked iamnicola. :o

I remember it well now thanks :)

[oscillate wildly]

I would like to revive this thread in hopes of some good storiezz.

[troubleluvsme]

I would like to revive this thread in hopes of some good storiezz.

Nice work, gurl! :thumb:

Not gettin' any from me, though.

I'm going to sleep now.

[snowfallsoon]

Got caught having sex in a car by a cop. Twice.
I also killed a guy.

[Scarlet Ibis]

Got caught having sex in a car by a cop. Twice.
I also killed a guy.

The guy you killed... Was it the cop?

[Scarlet Ibis]

I'm sitting here trying to think of the worst things I've ever done and I can't come up with anything good.

I've told lies, but mostly to save feelings or to get myself out of a situation that I felt was unfair. (I have no problem lying to people that I think are forcing me to lie due to being unethical themselves, but I'm unusually honest in most other ways.)

I've cheated on tests in high school, but nothing beyond that.

I once kissed someone while I was dating someone else.

*thinks*

I've sneaked up to the rail at Morrissey shows. Usually I have a pit ticket though, so this isn't a habit or anything.

:[

OH OH, I KNOW! I hate children. Except my own, obviously. I hear it's wrong to truly dislike a child, but OMG, I haaaaaate some of them. My daughter has a friend or two that I have to stop myself from kicking. That's pretty awful, right? :D

[snowfallsoon]

The guy you killed... Was it the cop?

ok, i got caught twice having sex with a cop by some guy, so i killed
the guy. or maybe the cop killed the guy. i was pretty wasted.

[Pachinko]

None of that self pitying shit, oh look at me I am a lonely Smiths fan bollocks. We want real, juicy, dirty, embarrassing confessions.

- Over 2008, I paid over £60 to subscribe to Match.com. I got two dates out of it, from there - one fuck. What a compete waste of time, I could have just paid for one of the birds near the S&G. Would have been less hassle.

Anyone else?

Ben, I tried Match.com and they steered me over to Chemistry.com, and it's a MUCH better site. My best friend found his true love on Match.com, so it isn't all that bad. Try out Chemistry.com! Good luck. :cool:

[Pachinko]

the 1st time i did i with a girl a cassette of
http://www.timboucher.com/journal/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/wham-city-make-it-big.jpg
this album was playing on my 'boombox'OM
weird huh, so i was connect Wham with losing my virginity :eek:

OMG! I wonder whatever happened to Andrew Ridgely! :squiffy:

[snowfallsoon]

I'm sitting here trying to think of the worst things I've ever done and I can't come up with anything good.

I've told lies, but mostly to save feelings or to get myself out of a situation that I felt was unfair. (I have no problem lying to people that I think are forcing me to lie due to being unethical themselves, but I'm unusually honest in most other ways.)

I've cheated on tests in high school, but nothing beyond that.

I once kissed someone while I was dating someone else.

*thinks*

I've sneaked up to the rail at Morrissey shows. Usually I have a pit ticket though, so this isn't a habit or anything.

:[

OH OH, I KNOW! I hate children. Except my own, obviously. I hear it's wrong to truly dislike a child, but OMG, I haaaaaate some of them. My daughter has a friend or two that I have to stop myself from kicking. That's pretty awful, right? :D

Not awful at all, I cannot stand some of my kid's friends. Even when they
were younger, I remember feeling bad because I just COULD NOT STAND this little girl my daughters was friends with. I thought I must be a pretty
bad person to hate a 6 year old.

[Scarlet Ibis]

Not awful at all, I cannot stand some of my kid's friends. Even when they
were younger, I remember feeling bad because I just COULD NOT STAND this little girl my daughters was friends with. I thought I must be a pretty
bad person to hate a 6 year old.

Oh, good! :D When people tell me they also hate some kids I think they must not mean it like I mean it. I REALLY hate some of them. I've had to excuse myself from the room to keep myself from saying something scarring to the little monsters. MONSTERS! Some of them are going to grow up to be horrendous adults.

[snowfallsoon]

You should listen to How Soon is Now or summat. Life's not so bad.

There are so many confessions i could make. But i won't, for want of not sounding like YOU.

Wow, you guys a bit rough on him.....I'm sure nobody really meant to be
mean to him...and he felt mocked for posting something personal-and hit back-so you all make up now ok?
Play nice and I won't charge you for this session. That means a savings of
$5.75 for you!

[snowfallsoon]

Oh, good! :D When people tell me they also hate some kids I think they must not mean it like I mean it. I REALLY hate some of them. I've had to excuse myself from the room to keep myself from saying something scarring to the little monsters. MONSTERS! Some of them are going to grow up to be horrendous adults.

I hate the ones that you always have to do things for. They're always hungry, or thirsty, or telling on YOUR child...I remember my sons friend came over, they were about 8, and he wanted me to make him scrambled eggs. I told him I didn't know how.(just didn't feel like doing it) So TWO HOURS later, he marches into the kitchen, and says (in his australian accent, which is pretty cute), "MY MOTHER KNOWS HOW TO MAKE SCRAMBLED EGGS!" and marched back out.
Last year one of his friends was here, he & my son had a fight, so the
kid screams 'THIS WHOLE FAMILY SUCKS!' then he saw me and says
"oh, except you"LOL

[snowfallsoon]

the 1st time i did i with a girl a cassette of
http://www.timboucher.com/journal/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/wham-city-make-it-big.jpg
this album was playing on my 'boombox'
weird huh, so i was connect Wham with losing my virginity :eek:

Now everytime I listen to WHAM I'm going to be reminded of your first time.
Thanks.:D

[swansong]

I once had sex while listening to The View...that's pretty bad :o

That may also be the tip of the iceberg.

[iamnicola]

I once drank a six pack of Jolt Cola in the 6th grade.

It was good and I would do it again.

[Seasick]

Ben, I tried Match.com and they steered me over to Chemistry.com, and it's a MUCH better site. My best friend found his true love on Match.com, so it isn't all that bad. Try out Chemistry.com! Good luck. :cool:

I recently sabotaged a known player on Match. I told the girl he shagged the previous night that the reason he wasn’t returning her texts was because he was on another date doing the same thing. He he he. He still hasn’t figured out why she sent those angry text messages. Sorry, but a hate a player.:lbf:

[Cassius]

OH OH, I KNOW! I hate children. Except my own, obviously. I hear it's wrong to truly dislike a child, but OMG, I haaaaaate some of them. My daughter has a friend or two that I have to stop myself from kicking. That's pretty awful, right? :D

I hate children as well. Not all children, of course, I have no problem with well behaved children but I cannot stand bratty children. Most of the time their parents suck too.

[snowfallsoon]

I once had sex while listening to The View...that's pretty bad :o

That may also be the tip of the iceberg.

Oh my god-you had sex DURING THE DAY???

[Dave]

okay, I thought of one that I can tell.

I was about 11 and my friend from next door was about 10. Where I lived then there was not a lot to do except get into trouble. My friend was sort of a "firebug". I guess I was too, but not before he moved there. He always had matches and lighters and gasoline and we would play with fire regularly.

So one night we went for a walk to the train tracks which was about 3/4 of a mile away. It was typical to go there and then walk to the drainage ditches. Sometimes we would catch crawdads, not to eat, but to get them riled up and try to get them to fight.

Anyway, it was really windy, late summer, and had gotten dark. We walked to the train trestle and there were some old tires there. Someone had thrown them in the ditch instead of taking them to the dump.

There was a lot of dried brush that time of year and we decided to stack up the two tires and fill them with brush and make a fire. We didn't want it to be seen, so we built it under the trestle.

Okay, it lit right up, no problem. It was really roaring in no time. The problem was that the flames under the trestle starting heating up the railroad ties and they were sweating creosote. This is like tar, and the railroad ties are soaked in it to preserve them, but it's very combustable. The railroad ties were really getting hot and it occurred to me that we might accidentally set the trestle on fire! We had to move the fire.

We were on a flat concrete floor under the tracks, and the creek ran through it inside a big pipe. at the edge, the pipe opened and the creek was right there, so I thought that I could kick the tires into the water and put out the fire.

When I kicked the tires they didn't roll in the water like I wanted. They broke up. Little pieces of burning rubber went everywhere. It got in the brush next to the bank and little fires were starting. the two tires did go in the water, but there were a lot of little fires.

We started trying to stomp them out. Then we got the idea to take off out shirts and try to beat them out. We couldn't do it. It was windy and dry and nothing was working.

It started to really light up. It was getting bright. A truck went past and we hid, but it didn't stop. We went back to trying to put the fire out and realized it was impossible. We decided to run. We couldn't go back down the tracks and the road because we would have been seen, so instead we ran through the field next to the creek.

Our street ran parallel to the creek so we were able to run through the field to home. By then it was fully dark and we were running though the darkness. I remember being suddenly in the air and then in the mud because we ran right into another drainage ditch, an empty one. Behind us the fire was traveling through the berry vines and trees that lined the creek.

We finally got to his house where no one was usually home, and I called the fire department. The woman asked me my name and I asked if I had to give it. She said "YES!!!" so I hung up. No caller ID back then and they didn't know who called. A few minutes later the fire trucks were heard and we went walking back that way to watch, but not close enough to be seen. They were able to put out the fire, and we did whatever else and then it was time to go to bed.

The next day our local evening paper reported the fire and said that it had been started by transients.

[snowfallsoon]

okay, I thought of one that I can tell.

I was about 11 and my friend from next door was about 10. Where I lived then there was not a lot to do except get into trouble. My friend was sort of a "firebug". I guess I was too, but not before he moved there. He always had matches and lighters and gasoline and we would play with fire regularly.

So one night we went for a walk to the train tracks which was about 3/4 of a mile away. It was typical to go there and then walk to the drainage ditches. Sometimes we would catch crawdads, not to eat, but to get them riled up and try to get them to fight.

Anyway, it was really windy, late summer, and had gotten dark. We walked to the train trestle and there were some old tires there. Someone had thrown them in the ditch instead of taking them to the dump.

There was a lot of dried brush that time of year and we decided to stack up the two tires and fill them with brush and make a fire. We didn't want it to be seen, so we built it under the trestle.

Okay, it lit right up, no problem. It was really roaring in no time. The problem was that the flames under the trestle starting heating up the railroad ties and they were sweating creosote. This is like tar, and the railroad ties are soaked in it to preserve them, but it's very combustable. The railroad ties were really getting hot and it occurred to me that we might accidentally set the trestle on fire! We had to move the fire.

We were on a flat concrete floor under the tracks, and the creek ran through it inside a big pipe. at the edge, the pipe opened and the creek was right there, so I thought that I could kick the tires into the water and put out the fire.

When I kicked the tires they didn't roll in the water like I wanted. They broke up. Little pieces of burning rubber went everywhere. It got in the brush next to the bank and little fires were starting. the two tires did go in the water, but there were a lot of little fires.

We started trying to stomp them out. Then we got the idea to take off out shirts and try to beat them out. We couldn't do it. It was windy and dry and nothing was working.

It started to really light up. It was getting bright. A truck went past and we hid, but it didn't stop. We went back to trying to put the fire out and realized it was impossible. We decided to run. We couldn't go back down the tracks and the road because we would have been seen, so instead we ran through the field next to the creek.

Our street ran parallel to the creek so we were able to run through the field to home. By then it was fully dark and we were running though the darkness. I remember being suddenly in the air and then in the mud because we ran right into another drainage ditch, an empty one. Behind us the fire was traveling through the berry vines and trees that lined the creek.

We finally got to his house where no one was usually home, and I called the fire department. The woman asked me my name and I asked if I had to give it. She said "YES!!!" so I hung up. No caller ID back then and they didn't know who called. A few minutes later the fire trucks were heard and we went walking back that way to watch, but not close enough to be seen. They were able to put out the fire, and we did whatever else and then it was time to go to bed.

The next day our local evening paper reported the fire and said that it had been started by transients.

When we were kids we used to go to this place called 'coolidge hill', you could see the whole town from the top..we had matches and lit a fire
there, and it took off so fast there was nothing we could do. i ran home as
fast as i could - got home & listened to the scanner-sure the cops would be looking for me.
thank god i never got caught, my dad's a fireman, i think he would have
disowned me.

[neonmad]

When we were kids we used to go to this place called 'coolidge hill', you could see the whole town from the top..we had matches and lit a fire
there, and it took off so fast there was nothing we could do. i ran home as
fast as i could - got home & listened to the scanner-sure the cops would be looking for me.
thank god i never got caught, my dad's a fireman, i think he would have
disowned me.

Ha, yikes! Still doesn't know? :eek:
Boys and fire...:crazy:

[snowfallsoon]

Ha, yikes! Still doesn't know? :eek:
Boys and fire...:crazy:

No, he still doesn't know-I'm never telling him that!
Oh, and I'm a girl!!

[neonmad]

No, he still doesn't know-I'm never telling him that!
Oh, and I'm a girl!!

oh, sorry:lbf:
I keep doing that.:o

Of course, our parents have all done things they don't want us to know.:straightface: Some things are better kept secret.:p

[swansong]

Oh my god-you had sex DURING THE DAY???

SSSSHHH! I was trying to keep that one quiet!

I only meant "bad" in terms of music, by the way.

[iamnicola]

I almost set my kitchen on fire...

twice.

[PsychodelicateGirl]

I almost set my kitchen on fire...

twice.

Me too! But more than twice...maybe making meth in my kitchen isn't a wise career move..:p

[troubleluvsme]

Bump...

[mcrickson]

I put a butterfly net over a priest's head while he was talking to someone when I was around 10 or 12 or so. Then I ran away. :blushing:

[yesitis]

when iwas ab out 12 i masturbated maybe 6 times on a flight between england and canada

[mcrickson]

when iwas ab out 12 i masturbated maybe 6 times on a flight between england and canada

:eek:
Holy jeez..you must've worked yourself raw..:o

[Girl-with-the-Thorn]

I put a butterfly net over a priest's head while he was talking to someone when I was around 10 or 12 or so. Then I ran away. :blushing:

:laughing:
You can't imagine what a bizarre and funny thing that was to read at 11:30...
:clap: :D

As for me... well, I'm a lonely Smiths fan of course. *facepalm* :D
But no, nothing particularly juicy. My life bores me out of my tiny mind. :p

[mcrickson]

:laughing:
You can't imagine what a bizarre and funny thing that was to read at 11:30...
:clap: :D

:D
Thank you? Haha I felt really bad about it afterwards. But I'm good now :thumb:

[Girl-with-the-Thorn]

:D
Thank you? Haha I felt really bad about it afterwards. But I'm good now :thumb:

No probs. :D
And I should hope so too... :lbf:

[mcrickson]

No probs. :D
And I should hope so too... :lbf:

Well, yknow :rolleyes:
I've graduated to lifting lead off the roof of the Holy Name church :lbf:

[EPbabe]

:eek:
Holy jeez..you must've worked yourself raw..:o

It was a long-haul flight after all. :lbf:

[Jukebox Jury]

When we were kids we used to go to this place called 'coolidge hill', you could see the whole town from the top..we had matches and lit a fire
there, and it took off so fast there was nothing we could do. i ran home as
fast as i could - got home & listened to the scanner-sure the cops would be looking for me.
thank god i never got caught, my dad's a fireman, i think he would have
disowned me.

Working for an organisation that deals with this kind of incident....I'm appalled at this confession:eek:


No, he still doesn't know-I'm never telling him that!
Oh, and I'm a girl!!

Maybe I'll have a word with you dad in August:p:thumb:

Oh, and yes, she's definately a girl:flowers:


when iwas ab out 12 i masturbated maybe 6 times on a flight between england and canada

What kind of inflight film did they have on:laughing:
Was this all in the toilet or under the blankett in dark:squiffy:

Jukebox Jury

[snowfallsoon]

I put a butterfly net over a priest's head while he was talking to someone when I was around 10 or 12 or so. Then I ran away. :blushing:

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

[snowfallsoon]

Bump...


Hey, you can't just 'bump' this thread without a confession!!

[mcrickson]

What kind of inflight film did they have on:laughing:
Was this all in the toilet or under the blankett in dark:squiffy:

Jukebox Jury

I did it twice on a bus trip coming back from NYC when I was 15 :blushing: Everyone was asleep, but I can't sleep on buses, and it was like 3:30 AM..:blushing: :blushing: :blushing:

[troubleluvsme]

Hey, you can't just 'bump' this thread without a confession!!

Oh yes I can!

[billybu69]

I don't mind Take That.:blushing:

[smith4]

I went to see the spice girls tour for nostalgia sake and loved it

[snowfallsoon]

I am a little bit afraid of TroubleLuvsMe.

[oscillate wildly]

I gave myself a six dollar tip and some birch beer.

[troubleluvsme]

Come on....spill it. :guitar:

[whoiseuan]

Once I was snorkelling in a bay and I swam off and ended up a bit further out than I intended and was feeling pretty tired. I noticed a small boat anchored close by and swam to it to rest a bit before swimming back to the beach. I climbed on and caught my breath. I had had been travelling in a campervan with a group of friends and having constantly been in each others company for days I hadn't relieved myself for a while. So with no one close by I tugged one out, juiced right on the window on the front of the boat, hopped back in the sea and swam back to shore.

[Hellie]

Once I was snorkelling in a bay and I swam off and ended up a bit further out than I intended and was feeling pretty tired. I noticed a small boat anchored close by and swam to it to rest a bit before swimming back to the beach. I climbed on and caught my breath. I had had been travelling in a campervan with a group of friends and having constantly been in each others company for days I hadn't relieved myself for a while. So with no one close by I tugged one out, juiced right on the window on the front of the boat, hopped back in the sea and swam back to shore.
:lbf:They probably just thought the seagulls were responsible.

[Anker Ignis Fatuus Von K.]

I'm really hot and sexy.

That was my confession.

Goodnight!

EDIT: That wasn't really a confession but a joke, sorry. Gotta find a confession to make.

[I am a Ghost]

I am a Ghost.

[troubleluvsme]

trouble loves me

[I am a Ghost]

Trouble Loves Me.

[oye terence]

I hate coffee.There, I said it.

[MindlessRuffian]

Someone gave me a word to describe myself a week ago. "Heteroflexible"

...I laughed.

[oscillate wildly]

Someone gave me a word to describe myself a week ago. "Heteroflexible"

...I laughed.

it's my favorite.

sometimes I miss cheese burgers.

[shawnxvx]

only read this last page...


I am a little bit afraid of TroubleLuvsMe.

me too!


I gave myself a six dollar tip and some birch beer.

birch beer<3


I'm really hot and sexy.

i am too, only its not a confession but the troof. aesthetically speaking, of course.


I hate coffee.There, I said it.

yeah, coffee is gross.

[troubleluvsme]

I am a little bit afraid of TroubleLuvsMe.




me too!

C'mon now Shawn....what happens in London, stays in London. :thumb:

[therightone]

Someone puts my finger in their mouth and....

[I am a Ghost]

I listened to two Kristeen Young songs in a row and I LIKED them.

[therightone]

These days I seem to have a new crush every 24 hours or so...too many men...so little time left...:confused:

:D

[nugz]

i kinda want my roommate's dog to kick the bucket.

[bulletproof]

I wish I was dead

[therightone]

I wish I was dead

:eek:

??

[Our Lady]

i kinda want my roommate's dog to kick the bucket.

I kind of want my roommate to kick the bucket.

[nugz]

I kind of want my roommate to kick the bucket.

does your roommate smell bad and pee in your room too?

[Our Lady]

does your roommate smell bad and pee in your room too?

Of course; she's French.

[nugz]

Of course; she's French.

i lol'd

[CrystalGeezer]

I just did a line of coke and fucked the guy down the street who sold me the eightball.

[Superhans]

I wish I was dead

Excuse me, but you don't happen to know who is featured in August on 'The 2010 Great American Conservative Women Calendar' do you?

[troubleluvsme]

I just did a line of coke and fucked the guy down the street who sold me the eightball.

:thumb:

[CrystalGeezer]

:thumb:

This didn't really happen, I was just seeing if everyone had me on ignore. I actually just watched the "perfect keylime pie" episode of Dexter, ate a yogurt cup and read a few Herman cartoons while hugging a cat that visited me as I was pooping on the toilet. :o Honesty rules! :thumb:

[CrystalGeezer]

I figured out the Herman cartoonist (Unger) was of British descent because his captions say "whaddyer" instead of "whaddya." ANd he does lots of Robin Hood stuff which to me is sort of Britishy. I think he lives in Canada but was born in England. My point is I was figuring this out when Meredith, one of the cats I'm watching, became fascinated with the idea of sitting on my lap, despite the fact my pants were around my ankles and I was reading a book.

[troubleluvsme]

This didn't really happen, I was just seeing if everyone had me on ignore. I actually just watched the "perfect keylime pie" episode of Dexter, ate a yogurt cup and read a few Herman cartoons while hugging a cat that visited me as I was pooping on the toilet. :o Honesty rules! :thumb:

:lbf: I didn't really think that you had done that.

[Our Lady]

i lol'd

I'm becoming quite popular on these forums.

[CrystalGeezer]

:lbf: I didn't really think that you had done that.

Wait til I turn my pooping story into gold, :lbf: this guy will have tears coming out of his eyes. :thumb:

[troubleluvsme]

Anyone drink too much eggnog at your office Christmas party and do something crazy?

I haven't done anything out of line in a long time, so please, confess something here.
If I'm not doing it, I want to at least read about it.

[therightone]

I cannot share it here but I'll PM ya later...:rolleyes:

[bored]

Of course; she's French.

I'm not french and I'm not a she but I do confess... that was me.

Sorry.

[troubleluvsme]

I cannot share it here but I'll PM ya later...:rolleyes:

Imma still waiting for you REAL confession, via PM :thumb:

[CrystalGeezer]

I want Morrissey to see the Rose Parade for some nagging reason in my brain. :o I guess I'm not going to this year as I had hoped :tears: but I think if he's into parades and in town, he should put in a hat and some sunglasses and go see it.

[therightone]

I started a physics innuendo thread...

I had a few good ones but no other soul could be bothered with it...

http://i50.tinypic.com/vxyh75.jpg

[troubleluvsme]

Anyone?

[oscillate wildly]

Anyone?

only if you go first!

[Hellie]

I confess to two timing my last two boyfriends.:(Am very bad.

[malvachat]

Many,many years ago I slept with my girlfriends mum.That wasn't too bad till she put me on to her sister.
Still it was fun at the time.

[Hellie]

Many,many years ago I slept with my girlfriends mum.That wasn't too bad till she put me on to her sister.
Still it was fun at the time.
:lbf:nice one:thumb:

[malvachat]

I confess to two timing my last two boyfriends.:(Am very bad.
Maybe?
Depends on the circumstances.
A one off,one night,or a regular thing?

[and_i__disintegrate]

http://www.justin.tv/br/lipslikem0rphine#r=WR7GzAE~

[CrystalGeezer]

I have crushes and appreciation all the time but I'm totally not a vagiterian. :D

[john86]

I have crushes and appreciation all the time but I'm totally not a vagiterian. :D:lbf:


muff is murder :horny:

[CrystalGeezer]

:lbf:


muff is murder :horny:

Yeah. I'm totally into eating mate. :blushing: :D

[john86]

Yeah. I'm totally into eating mate. :blushing: :D


sweet jesus...


:highfive:

[Patrick!]

Many,many years ago I slept with my girlfriends mum.That wasn't too bad till she put me on to her sister.
Still it was fun at the time.

i feel that everyone should have at least one sexual escapade that mirrors a song penned by jarvis cocker. i think you've had two ("babies" and "pencil skirt") i've only had one, which was sleeping with a married woman (a personal favorite of mine "i spy"). she's getting a divorce and we're still dating.

[Pterodactyl]

I cheated on my long-time girlfriend with some psycho, chunky cow from El Paso. This was shortly after I met her friend who was covered in cat hair. I haven't been tested for diseases yet.

[Poppy Full]

i feel that everyone should have at least one sexual escapade that mirrors a song penned by jarvis cocker. i think you've had two ("babies" and "pencil skirt") i've only had one, which was sleeping with a married woman (a personal favorite of mine "i spy"). she's getting a divorce and we're still dating.

That sounds like a wonderful axiom. :thumb:

[Patrick!]

it is! now go have sex with your significant other's mother/father/sister/brother, a senior citizen, or someone who is married/engaged.

[tbishop]

i feel that everyone should have at least one sexual escapade that mirrors a song penned by jarvis cocker. i think you've had two ("babies" and "pencil skirt") i've only had one, which was sleeping with a married woman (a personal favorite of mine "i spy"). she's getting a divorce and we're still dating.



i have always been fond of 'pencil skirt' and 'this is hardcore' for very similar reasons:thumb:

[Patrick!]

this is hardcore is one of my favorite songs of all time. the build up, the thunderous climax, and some of the darkest, desperate lyrics i've ever heard.

[tbishop]

this is hardcore is one of my favorite songs of all time. the build up, the thunderous climax, and some of the darkest, desperate lyrics i've ever heard.

'tis brilliant

[oscillate wildly]

this is hardcore is one of my favorite songs of all time. the build up, the thunderous climax, and some of the darkest, desperate lyrics i've ever heard.

i like ya get up if you know what i meaaaan.

[penfoldsfive]

that song makes me ashamed to lust after women.

[Patrick!]

that's not really what hte song is about. i've always understood it to be jarvis comparing pop stardom to hardcore pornography.

[Hellie]

I confess to doing something extremely naughty and there will be repurcussions.:(

[Jukebox Jury]

I confess to doing something extremely naughty and there will be repurcussions.:(

Go on..... we wont tell anyone.....:thumb:

Jukebox Jury

[oscillate wildly]

I confess to doing something extremely naughty and there will be repurcussions.:(

your secret is safe with me.

[shawnxvx]

ok i confess... i dont really like morrissey, i'm just here for the babes. and posts about rourke/joyce.

[Jukebox Jury]

ok i confess... i dont really like morrissey, i'm just here for the babes. and posts about rourke/joyce.

Yeah, and Johnny Marr.....what a tosser:lbf:

Jukebox Jury

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

Pencil Skirt.

[malvachat]

The John Terry thing reminded me of something.I can't claim this for myself it was a couple of mates years ago.(so much happened years ago)
They were both sleeping with the same Girl.They both knew about each other but she didn't.
They would take it in turns.She used to boast to her mates about it.I knew this because one of her mates was my girlfriend at the time.I never let on.When it all came out my girlfriend asked why I never told her.I told her I knew she would her mate.Plus my mates were having a good time.She said you don't trust me and you think more of your mates than me.I agreed.Needless to say the relationship was finished.Strange creatures,with or without them.:D

[Hellie]

Go on..... we wont tell anyone.....:thumb:

Jukebox Jury

Shenanigans....:horny:

[Patrick!]

Pencil Skirt.

i'll be around when he's not in town
i'll show you how you're doing it wrong
i really love it when you tell me to stop
oh, ah
oh, it's turning me on

<3

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

i'll be around when he's not in town
i'll show you how you're doing it wrong
i really love it when you tell me to stop
oh, ah
oh, it's turning me on

<3
:tears:

[Patrick!]

jeez what's your problem?

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

I love the song, it's just
NpVWoF57sZg
and 4-L6rEm0rnY

I don't think T S Eliot would approve of that shlock. But it served my musical rebus nicely.

[Mike Oxhard]

I did the deadly on the sofa with my mate's girlfriend while he was sorting her sister out on the sly in the back seat of a car round the corner. he gave me his blessing to go ahead and sleep with her while he hatched a plot to seduce her sister. Me and him met up afterwards and laughed our heads off over a pot of tea.
Things got even more weird a few months later when me, him and his by then estranged girlfriend ended up in a threesome. :thumb:

I'm just confessing. I've kept it in for so long....:confused:

[CrystalGeezer]

I
I don't think T S Eliot would approve of that shlock.

Plate techtonics is a bunch of bullshit. Earthquakes really come from TS Eliot turning in his grave everytime Memory is played. :straightface:

[billy scissors]

Plate techtonics is a bunch of bullshit. Earthquakes really come from TS Eliot turning in his grave everytime Memory is played. :straightface:

I want to live in CrystalGeezerland.Goodnight

[vaca peluda]

Christ where do I start?...

[Hellie]

I did the deadly on the sofa with my mate's girlfriend while he was sorting her sister out on the sly in the back seat of a car round the corner. he gave me his blessing to go ahead and sleep with her while he hatched a plot to seduce her sister. Me and him met up afterwards and laughed our heads off over a pot of tea.
Things got even more weird a few months later when me, him and his by then estranged girlfriend ended up in a threesome. :thumb:

I'm just confessing. I've kept it in for so long....:confused:


That made me laugh so much:lbf:..you are BAD:thumb:

[troubleluvsme]

Christ where do I start?...


Same here.
I guess we could start at the beginning.
Maybe we should start our own thread.

[vaca peluda]

Same here.
I guess we could start at the beginning.
Maybe we should start our own thread.

We could, but I think I'd never finish it for I'd most likely suffocate on my own induced shame.

[Mike Oxhard]

That made me laugh so much:lbf:..you are BAD:thumb:

well, this friend of mine had a 'thing' for sharing his women. I went round his house one night and he went to bed early and left me with his girlfriend who had dressed herself in knee length boots and a mini skirt but I didn't want to do it because I liked her as a person. Next time I went round, SHE went to bed early and I was informed that she was 'waiting', if I was interested. again, I declined. They split up some time later and I often wonder if I should have just gone upstairs and done her that night.
A missed opportunity in retrospect. Nowadays I'm just a primal animal. If it throws a shadow and breathes, I'm there. Bollocks. This should really be on the fuck my life thread:thumb:

[billy scissors]

well, this friend of mine had a 'thing' for sharing his women. I went round his house one night and he went to bed early and left me with his girlfriend who had dressed herself in knee length boots and a mini skirt but I didn't want to do it because I liked her as a person. Next time I went round, SHE went to bed early and I was informed that she was 'waiting', if I was interested. again, I declined. They split up some time later and I often wonder if I should have just gone upstairs and done her that night.
A missed opportunity in retrospect. Nowadays I'm just a primal animal. If it throws a shadow and breathes, I'm there. Bollocks. This should really be on the fuck my life thread:thumb:

The fuck my mates wife thread

[Hellie]

well, this friend of mine had a 'thing' for sharing his women. I went round his house one night and he went to bed early and left me with his girlfriend who had dressed herself in knee length boots and a mini skirt but I didn't want to do it because I liked her as a person. Next time I went round, SHE went to bed early and I was informed that she was 'waiting', if I was interested. again, I declined. They split up some time later and I often wonder if I should have just gone upstairs and done her that night.
A missed opportunity in retrospect. Nowadays I'm just a primal animal. If it throws a shadow and breathes, I'm there. Bollocks. This should really be on the fuck my life thread:thumb:


" I didn't want to do it as i liked her as a person!"psml...you were one of a kind :lbf:...I like You you tell it like it is :lbf:

[Mike Oxhard]

" I didn't want to do it as i liked her as a person!"psml...you were one of a kind :lbf:...I like You you tell it like it is :lbf:

haha. I didn't realise how that might be construed. It's basically like saying that you prefer to sleep with people you dislike. What I meant was that I didn't think it was right at the time because she was always kind to me and she thought I was more principled than that - which I'm not, obviously. But they split up anyway because he was caught in a compromising position with a middle-aged African woman in a cleaning cupboard at work. I should have just ran in there and humped her like an animal that night. See, I told you I have no principles!

[oscillate wildly]

it was me.

[yesitis]

it was me.

someone tell the mccanns.

[CrystalGeezer]

I have a friend who lies at the drop of a hat. The thing that makes me mad is that it forces the people around him who wouldn't normally lie to become liars themselves so he won't get found out. Nothing specific, but I've been asked by him on more than ten occasions to flub the truth and I kinda hate it, I hate what it might mean in the big picture. So I guess I'm confessing that I hate liars.

[Mike Oxhard]

but you get caught up in the web of lies so easily. the same guy that I was referring to earlier took me round his house for breakfast one morning after we'd been out all night with some girls and he'd been cheating on his girlfriend that night. She actually made my breakfast and was talking normally to me whilst all I could see in my mind was my friends arse going like a jackhammer on this girl he'd been with (we were all in the same room, long story!).
I felt bad - was I betraying her too because I knew what he'd been doing? Is it my responsibility to get involved in other peoples marital probs? I basically felt it was his fault for cheating on his girlfriend.
Fuck knows, life is a load of balls.

[mauve21]

All the things that happened last year have caused me
to totally lose all of the things I had last year
and now I am back to the situation I was in three years ago.

Without a job, without a car, without money..........

Oh boo hoo. I won't bore you with the details.
Suffice to say I've turned myself inside out and now
am having to pick up the pieces and I'm not sure how all this
is going to turn out.
If I wasn't a Mother I wouldn't care, but I have responsibilities.
Besides all that I still haven't met a "nice man".......

[ThatAbby]

Before I was married to my husband he and I got into a huge fight and we broke off our engagement for a few weeks. While on this "break" I was really pissed at him so I went on a week vacation with my ex-boyfriend. Plus my ex never knew I was engaged to someone as we hadn't been together in over a year. Then while on vacation we talked about getting back together, when we returned home I told him I wasn't ready. Three months later I married my husband.

Said ex, now hates my guts and I believe he made a VooDoo doll out of the things I left at his house that belonged to me.

[troubleluvsme]

Bump

Anyone doing anything they're not supposed to be doing right now?

[troubleluvsme]

Is anyone posting here who shouldn't be posting here anymore? :lbf:

[CrystalGeezer]

I grew up in a home that was not affectionate. Maybe a pat on the shoulder from my mom here or there, but no touching. Which is a curse and a blessing in a way but it might have made me weird until I find the right person to feel safe to be affectionate with. I was the kid on the playground who if someone fell on the swings and was crying, I didn't know what to do because I had to training really. I'd just stand there staring as other kids came to comfort them. I'd run and get the teacher, but I didn't know how to console with touch. So I have this imaginary friend, we'll say. Today. And when I sense he's crying, I console him by touching my belly like it's him. Or I'll hold the back of my head like I'm cradling him. Another favorite is to hold my opposite shoulder with each hand across my chest and lie on my side. I am weird, channeling affection to imaginary weepers...sometimes long after they've wept because I've stammered around wondering what to do like the kid I was on the playground. :o

[MILVA]

i think i'm in love.

[alek2702]

i think i'm in love.

Don't worry, it'll pass.

[MILVA]

Don't worry, it'll pass.

it's a lot like life itself... but I'm not in the least worried.

[Girl-with-the-Thorn]

I grew up in a home that was not affectionate. Maybe a pat on the shoulder from my mom here or there, but no touching. Which is a curse and a blessing in a way but it might have made me weird until I find the right person to feel safe to be affectionate with. I was the kid on the playground who if someone fell on the swings and was crying, I didn't know what to do because I had to training really. I'd just stand there staring as other kids came to comfort them. I'd run and get the teacher, but I didn't know how to console with touch. So I have this imaginary friend, we'll say. Today. And when I sense he's crying, I console him by touching my belly like it's him. Or I'll hold the back of my head like I'm cradling him. Another favorite is to hold my opposite shoulder with each hand across my chest and lie on my side. I am weird, channeling affection to imaginary weepers...sometimes long after they've wept because I've stammered around wondering what to do like the kid I was on the playground. :o

I'm very similar. If I know someone really well I can deal and empathise with the emotional stuff, but apart from that I'm rubbish. I do care about people, but I think due to the fact that I hate being patronised and made to feel dependent myself, I'm worried about making other people feel uncomfortable. That's why I'm already so anxious about the prospect of my parents aging and needing lots of hands-on care, as my only surviving grandparent does now; because I'm scared I'll be utterly useless and everyone will think I'm an awful, uncaring daughter. :o

So yeah, that's my confession: that I'm useless with people. :p

[billy scissors]

I'm very similar. If I know someone really well I can deal and empathise with the emotional stuff, but apart from that I'm rubbish. I do care about people, but I think due to the fact that I hate being patronised and made to feel dependent myself, I'm worried about making other people feel uncomfortable. That's why I'm already so anxious about the prospect of my parents aging and needing lots of hands-on care, as my only surviving grandparent does now; because I'm scared I'll be utterly useless and everyone will think I'm an awful, uncaring daughter. :o

So yeah, that's my confession: that I'm useless with people. :p

How old are your parents,if you dont mind me asking?

[Girl-with-the-Thorn]

How old are your parents,if you dont mind me asking?

My dad's 51 and my mum's 58. I know it's probably a long way off, but I always worry about things that are years and years away, which of course just makes the anxiety worse. :squiffy:

[billy scissors]

My dad's 51 and my mum's 58. I know it's probably a long way off, but I always worry about things that are years and years away, which of course just makes the anxiety worse. :squiffy:

Theyre practically teenagers! I wouldn't worry too much

[Girl-with-the-Thorn]

Theyre practically teenagers! I wouldn't worry too much

I know, I know. I'm just being silly and feeling a bit nervy today. :o

[billy scissors]

I know, I know. I'm just being silly and feeling a bit nervy today. :o

Ive been there,you'll be fine

[troubleluvsme]

Ugh....where do I start? :o

[CrystalGeezer]

Ugh....where do I start? :o

Okay, where did you do it. That's a good place to start.

[troubleluvsme]

Okay, where did you do it. That's a good place to start.

It's not that easy. :lbf:

[Dave]

I once used Morrissey quotes in a flamewar. :o

[CrystalGeezer]

I once used Morrissey quotes in a flamewar. :o

Did you win or lose? :D

[Dave]

I think that counts as a loss... ;)

[DAVIE]

I confess that most of humanity are nasty basterds who don't give a shit about anything until we're dying! :D

[Barking]

I confess that most of humanity are nasty basterds who don't give a shit about anything until we're dying! :D

I'm disappointed Davie, when you've just confessed in another thread you have a rather big sausage...I somehow expected something exciting. :straightface:

[DAVIE]

I'm disappointed Davie, when you've just confessed in another thread you have a rather big sausage...I somehow expected something exciting. :straightface:

HAHAHA :D I have a confession to the world!!! I shall feed the world...with my long chunky sausage!

[CrystalGeezer]

HAHAHA :D I have a confession to the world!!! I shall feed the world...with my long chunky sausage!

DAVIE, are you a tripod? Does it make wearing a bathing suit difficult?

[DAVIE]

DAVIE, are you a tripod? Does it make wearing a bathing suit difficult?

It's very painful :D

[CrystalGeezer]

It's very painful :D

Painful? :squiffy: I was implying that your ding dong would be hanging below the hemline of your shorts like this guys almost is. If he jiggled a lil bit it would just flop on out. :love:

http://s7d2.scene7.com/is/image/UnderGear/MA303

[CrystalGeezer]

Maggie Moment o' the Day: I want to be fucked by a dirty little Euro.