What Your Friends And Family Make of Your Adoration of Morrissey

[paintavulgarpicture]

My close friends cannot understand it at all, as none of them like his music. To be honest though, they haven't really given him a proper chance. They also take the mick out of him in the same vein that Tony Christie does on that episode of Never Mind the Buzzcocks...

[miryam_moz85]

My close friends cannot understand it at all, as none of them like his music. To be honest though, they haven't really given him a proper chance. They also take the mick out of him in the same vein that Tony Christie does on that episode of Never Mind the Buzzcocks...

oh my mom..dad..family..friends..they all call me crazy..what the hell is soo sexy about this man..he's old..why don't you like orlando bloom, ben affleck or stuff like that like girls at your age (in context to my friends, i don't have many but some) or my mom she's freakin out..why do you speak of this man all the time..why do you listen to this depressiv music day and night..are you crazy..why do you love this man..he soo old..he's my age..that isn't normal..then i say..you know mom or all the others..you're all not normal..that's the thing..you can't understand..cause you can' understand him..in each way..please live in your happy, nice and lovely world where everything is ok and no problems anyway..but let me live in my own..that's it..i have another view o life (i acn't explain it more cause they wouldn't understand) ohyes there were very long and a lot of conversations about that,..but i don't mind:p:rolleyes:

[Brel]

My close friends are old school. So most of them saw The Smiths. I just never grew out of it!

Most of them kept on buying the music, but didn't bother with the gigs. Morrissey left a lot of his Manchester fans behind in the 90's, because he only played here once. Mancunians are spoilt (for gigs), so you won't find many who will travel for a concert. Naturally, I wasn't so afraid of the road.

When Morrissey started playing shows in Manchester again, he found an audience waiting - my old friends included.

So here we are again. Another leg, of another tour, and no Manchester dates. So my mates stay at home and me and Mrs Brel head off on the road.

[Patrick McGoohan]

oh my mom..dad..family..friends..they all call me crazy..what the hell is soo sexy about this man..he's old..why don't you like orlando bloom, ben affleck or stuff like that like girls at your age (in context to my friends, i don't have many but some) or my mom she's freakin out..why do you speak of this man all the time..why do you listen to this depressiv music day and night..are you crazy..why do you love this man..he soo old..he's my age..that isn't normal..then i say..you know mom or all the others..you're all not normal..that's the thing..you can't understand..cause you can' understand him..in each way..please live in your happy, nice and lovely world where everything is ok and no problems anyway..but let me live in my own..that's it..i have another view o life (i acn't explain it more cause they wouldn't understand) ohyes there were very long and a lot of conversations about that,..but i don't mind:p:rolleyes:

Sweet. :D

[lovemorrissey]

They all think im mad and cant see why im so obsessed with the god who is Morrissey.

My sister's boyfried in particular is always taking the mick out of Morrissey and how much I adore him, im going there for xmas tomorow so have made him his own special xmas card, im sure when he opens the envelope he'll love it! lol

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i184/luvmorrissey/MorrisseyXmas2.jpg

[paintavulgarpicture]

They all think im mad and cant see why im so obsessed with the god who is Morrissey.

My sister's boyfried in particular is always taking the mick out of Morrissey and how much I adore him, im going there for xmas tomorow so have made him his own special xmas card, im sure when he opens the envelope he'll love it! lol

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i184/luvmorrissey/MorrisseyXmas2.jpg

Haha that is excellent - I'd be chuffed if somebody made me that for Xmas! My friend asked a guy who makes hand-made cards if he'd make me a Morrissey card for my birthday, and it is now one of my few treasured posessions. :)

[Rosso]

When I tell people at work that I'm a Morrissey fan they seem to think that I'm talking about the actor Neil Morrissey from that old tv show 'Men Behaving Badly', none of my family actualy know who Morrissey is, accept for my dad who does not seem to approve of my adoration!

[blink853]

They all think im mad and cant see why im so obsessed with the god who is Morrissey.

My sister's boyfried in particular is always taking the mick out of Morrissey and how much I adore him, im going there for xmas tomorow so have made him his own special xmas card, im sure when he opens the envelope he'll love it! lol

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i184/luvmorrissey/MorrisseyXmas2.jpg

I would love that card!

They all think I have issues. But it's cool, they've grown used to it! They know that nothing makes me happier now than Morrissey, so they just go with the flow.
My mum is at my request going to embroider pictures of morrisseys face onto some babygrows for me!

My friends don't understand why I love Morrissey so much, but they all have their own musician fetishes, so they leave me be!

[EPbabe]

My friends don't really get it but they've accepted it and they think I'm cute :D They don't ask me anymore what I'm listening to when they see me with my mp3.... :rolleyes:

[dicartwright]

My mother thought it's gonna pass, like other loves I had as a child, but this one came to stay and she's still waiting. My father knows nothing about me, but he ratains the name and when he sees something about him he shows me ;)
I have no friends.

[EPbabe]

My mother thought it's gonna pass, like other loves I had as a child, but this one came to stay and she's still waiting. My father knows nothing about me, but he ratains the name and when he sees something about him he shows me ;)
I have no friends.

My parents don't know about Morrissey which is quite normal since we don't live together anymore.

(What do you mean by "I have no friends"??????:eek:)

[Jealous Of Youth]

My dad was a big Smiths fan, so he understands the appeal of Morrissey (and he gave me his Smiths/Morrissey vinyl collection, which was much appreciated and now adourns both my bedroom wall at home and at Uni). My mum isn't really a fan, but she can see why people are attracted to Morrissey. My brothers and sister aren't huge fans, but a quick browse through their i-pod playlists shows that they have been borrowing liberally from my CD collection (The last of the famous international playboys seems to be a popular one amongst them....).

Most of my friends don't really know who The Smiths or Morrissey are/were. or, if they do, they hate them/him. but who cares? different people have different tastes in music. that's just the way it is.

although i must admit that at times it is embarassing to admit you love The Smiths/Morrissey because of some of the really obsessive fans (you know, the ones at his gigs who wear the same type of suit as him, have their hair quiffed and the morrissey circa 1995 sideburns..). Some of them cross the line i think. they move from 'very big fan' to 'mentally unstable obsessive' and then the rest of us get tarred with the same brush.

[lovemorrissey]

I always buy everyone at work a cream cake on Morrissey's birthday, they dont seem to complain at that! lol

[jeniphir]

My husband doesn't get it, except in a thoughtful, intellectualized way. . .there is no equivalent in his life. That said, he is very understanding and he was truly happy and excited for me when I had my first front-row experience/first holding-Moz's-hand experience and was generous with time (he got to try out stay-at-home-parenting for a whole week) and $$$ when I decided to splash out and go to the NYC residency, then pay an ungodly amount to be front row here at home this fall. He has been witnessing my "crushes" for years now, and while my relationship to Morrissey and his music is more complex than a crush, it's similar in some ways. Hubbi knows by now that I'm a swooner.

My mother dismissed it as "this obsession of yours." I keep telling her that the way she loves Neil Diamond (and lately, Dr. Phil) is similar. I've seen that swoony look in her eyes! She gets it, whether she will admit it or not.

My sister gets it; REM was the band that saved her but the parallels are clear. She's my go-to girl when it comes to gushing about Moz and all things Moz-related.

I long ago came to understand that more people (here in the US, anyway) have never even heard of Morrissey and/or the Smiths than are on the level of fandom I am, and that's OK. As a younger person, I was inflexible when it came to people having similar interests and reference points to mine, but as I've gotten older, I've relaxed a lot and widened my worldview. . .and now it's actually kind of nice to have Moz/the Smiths and my relationship to them and the music all to myself. I've given up trying to explain it to people who "just don't get it," but not in an angry way, as I once did. And it is so nice to occasionally encounter a fan (that's why I love -solo and the people I've met IRL from here. . .while I enjoy having Moz to myself in some company, I enjoy equally the ability to talk about him and his work with people who are equally in the know) that I have really been able to let go of the idea that "No one understands me!!!" which is such a common symptom of youth.

--jeniphir

[meat_is_murder19]

My dad is a big morrissey fan has been since the smiths days.my mum thinks he is cute :o

[WHY!]

All my friends (except from one) can't understand my love to Moz and they just don't care because they don't love music the way I love. I really LOVE music and they just hear it to have a "noice" in the distance. That's why they think I'm a little bit mad. Maybe I am. But in this case I don't care.

I think many of us have this phenomenon. But you have to see it like this: we are very special and do special things and love special things. Extraordinary things. That's why the other ones - the normal ones - will never understand us. And that's okay. I don't want to be understood by a very normal, ordinary person. That would mean I'm as ordinary as them. Horror! :eek:

[lottie]

Seconding what WHY said about being ordinary... spot onmy friend spot on.

I don't have a lot of 'friends' (ive probably got less than Moz, if i dont include the peeps from here) and thats the way i like it, the people who i do encouter i.e. work colleaugues etc, do the usual "oh hes so old, miserable,who?" bit... but i just ignore it, because what they think doesnt affect my life or change how strongly i feel in fact it makes me admire him more, for the very fact that the 'ordinary' people don't get him.. ;)

Its taken me a lot of years to grow the strength of character to not care about what other people think though, but once you've had that 'epiphany' then life improves no end.

in fact those few 'true' friends that i have are also Moz obsessives, and theyve become true friends through mutually knowing the joy that is being a moz fan. (which usually entails having the same views on life as a whole)

My only gripe is that we all live so far apart so rarely get together, and i miss that, to have an evening of moz chat/music/dvds with pals that feel the same would be bliss to me.

[lottie]

as for my family, i avoid them like the plague anyhow as we are so far apart in our moral views.
i know they wouldnt get it or care, but again i dont let it bother me as i care not what they think.

[nugz]

I think many of us have this phenomenon. But you have to see it like this: we are very special and do special things and love special things. Extraordinary things. That's why the other ones - the normal ones - will never understand us. And that's okay. I don't want to be understood by a very normal, ordinary person. That would mean I'm as ordinary as them. Horror! :eek:

i totally get what youre saying and i wholeheartedly agree with you! ;)

[Not Right in the Head]

All my friends (except from one) can't understand my love to Moz and they just don't care because they don't love music the way I love. I really LOVE music and they just hear it to have a "noice" in the distance. That's why they think I'm a little bit mad. Maybe I am. But in this case I don't care.

I think many of us have this phenomenon. But you have to see it like this: we are very special and do special things and love special things. Extraordinary things. That's why the other ones - the normal ones - will never understand us. And that's okay. I don't want to be understood by a very normal, ordinary person. That would mean I'm as ordinary as them. Horror! :eek:

http://images.despair.com/products/demotivators/individuality.jpg
http://images.despair.com/products/demotivators/elitism.jpg

[Raquel]

I have a feeling my friends think it's a bit pathetic, but support me in having a hobby I enjoy! They are all busy with their kids, and have moved on from liking music that's not The Wiggles or similar. I do believe they were slightly jealous of all the concerts I went to in 2007, but they all seemed to be breastfeeding and couldn't join in!

[dicartwright]

(What do you mean by "I have no friends"??????:eek:)

Only online friends in LJ and here, and then dogs and cats in the neighborhood.

[Corrissey]

I think many of us have this phenomenon. But you have to see it like this: we are very special and do special things and love special things. Extraordinary things. That's why the other ones - the normal ones - will never understand us. And that's okay. I don't want to be understood by a very normal, ordinary person. That would mean I'm as ordinary as them. Horror! :eek:

Well said. You know the 'ordinary ones' are happy going nowhere...

Only a couple of my friends 'get it' and accept it. The rest (family included) think I'm certifiable. Hey I'm not a complete idiot....some parts are missing :)

Solo peeps get it and this is why I'm here.

Everyone else...
http://i89.photobucket.com/albums/k238/morrisseysolo/gifs/graphics-funnyanimated19.gif

[++++++]

Surprisingly, I've gotten a few unlikely people to enjoy Moz. One person I know, more of a death metal fan than anything else, went from screeching every time I played him to acquiring the whole Smiths/Moz discography. Some of my friends never really got it, but that doesn't bother me much. My love of Morrissey has leveled out somewhat; I'm not as into indoctrination as I once was.

As for the folks: Dad thinks he's a few apples shy of a fruit basket, but he doesn't know yet that his son bats southpaw, so I forgive him. On a family trip a few years back I played Viva Hate in the car and mom was enjoying the music quite a bit... until Late Night, Maudlin Street came on and she started crying. Ah, well.

[shirleytemple]

My family simply doesn't like him. They could hear his music playing through the house and complain about how depressing it is. They all wonder why I am so obsessed with this "gay guy" , as they call him. They wonder why I spend so much money on him. People, friends, they go in my room, Morrissey paved in every corner, and probably think boy is she weird. I always try to explain my love for him but I always lose my breath. I really don't mind what anyone thinks! It's personal. No one will understand so I don't bother anymore. They all think it's just a crazy obsession..or a phase.

[CrystalGeezer]

I have a friend who would constantly mock me about Morrissey. Then when Colin Meloy released his Moz cover album, my friend changed his tune and started to download the albums. Now I think he's a bit hooked.

[CrystalGeezer]

And my first boyfriend? I think he's just a Morrissey convert so that he could get into my pants, as at the time of our courtship I was quite the Morrissey fanatic.

[fridaynightinoutpatients]

My wife understands the connection I feel with Moz. She very much enjoys his voice, persona and lyrical abilty (she refers to Morrissey as "the ultimate word-Smith"), but her appetite for Moz does not equal mine. Time changes everything-


I am very glad that we finally got the internet because of this forum. I have never really had anyone to share this passion with!

[Kilt Uncle]

I don't really have any friends and i killed my family......but my pretend friends think he's amazing!

[Girl Unafraid]

My dad hates Morrissey with a passion, when the whole Eurovision thing happened it was like all his birthdays had come at once, he even came home early from work to gloat about how they 'deserve each other...it was only a metter of time' :rolleyes:
But I've actually convinced loads of my friends, hurrah! :) Except my best friend, she agrees that he's a brilliant songwriter but can't listen to his singing voice.
Another friend who used to be a fan has turned against him now, after the whole 'racism' stuff...he claims he's the 21st century Hitler...he likes to make 'jokes' about Morrissey putting the 'SS' into Morrissey :o

[Morrissey the 23rd]

They gave up years ago but I continue to brainwash them. Morrissey is at risk of breaking up my marraige and has been for years. This year and next year, I have made an effort to seriously cut down tour dates.:(

I once told a reporter outside the SLC that I had saw Morrissey outside of Meltdown a few days earlier and I had told him that I loved him more than my own mother, my wife and life itself. He published that and it got me in trouble because it was known it was only said half in jest.

My mother often quotes Morrissey to me and my brothers play down how much they like him. One of them lives near Frankfurt and going to the concert with him last year, and knowing he loved it was great.

[nugz]

They gave up years ago but I continue to brainwash them. Morrissey is at risk of breaking up my marraige and has been for years. This year and next year, I have made an effort to seriously cut down tour dates.:(

i hope you aren't serious.


I once told a reporter outside the SLC that I had saw Morrissey outside of Meltdown a few days earlier and I had told him that I loved him more than my own mother, my wife and life itself. He published that and it got me in trouble because it was known it was only said half in jest.

only half is still too much.

[Morrissey the 23rd]

i hope you aren't serious.



only half is still too much.

Why can't they be happy I want to share my love with them?

[nugz]

Why can't they be happy I want to share my love with them?

im starting to believe you're actually being serious.

[CARDIFF CITY FC]

they think i,m clinically insane :D

[Morrissey the 23rd]

im starting to believe you're actually being serious.

I am.

[theboyracer]

They think that I'm gay :cool:

[paintavulgarpicture]

http://images.despair.com/products/demotivators/individuality.jpg
http://images.despair.com/products/demotivators/elitism.jpg

Is it strange that I admire your brutality?
You never cease to make me laugh.

[JoyDiv007]

Most of my friends don't get it at all. My co-workers thought I was crazy for seeing all the shows this year and going to Manchester. Have a few friends who are fans or at least understand why I like him so much. Mom actually likes his music, thinks a few songs are a little depressing but still she gets it. A few people think I need to grow up and stop all this. Stop going to shows never, refuse to do that.

I did get a homemade Christmas card from a friend that had Morrissey's picture which I thought was very cool. I've converted a couple teens into fans now.

[Morrissey the 23rd]

Most of my friends don't get it at all. My co-workers thought I was crazy for seeing all the shows this year and going to Manchester. Have a few friends who are fans or at least understand why I like him so much. Mom actually likes his music, thinks a few songs are a little depressing but still she gets it. A few people think I need to grow up and stop all this. Stop going to shows never, refuse to do that.

I did get a homemade Christmas card from a friend that had Morrissey's picture which I thought was very cool. I've converted a couple teens into fans now.

I met you in Manchester. You are crazy.

[Morrissey the 23rd]

http://images.despair.com/products/demotivators/individuality.jpg
http://images.despair.com/products/demotivators/elitism.jpg

"You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile".

[JoyDiv007]

I met you in Manchester. You are crazy.

Well your just as crazy.

[Morrissey the 23rd]

Well your just as crazy.

More so I hope.

[JoyDiv007]

Yes you sure are. Never met anyone quite like you before.

[nugz]

I am.

and what does your therapist have to say about this?

[esheh195]

They think that I'm gay :cool:

hahahahaha...my dad thought i was gay forever cuz of my love of morrissey. LOL maybe it was the fact that i went from paula abdul and claudi schiffer posters to posters of Moz. lol
He's gotten better and i can play it around him the few times a year we're in the car together..but he still looks at me like 'hmmmm':p haha
didnt help when he asked what i wanted for christmas and i told him to get me a bottle of avignon cuz i ran out...he's like 'where'd you find this cologne?' and i'm like 'oh, i tried it cuz morrissey wears it!' :rolleyes:

[Not Right in the Head]

when he asked what i wanted for christmas and i told him to get me a bottle of avignon cuz i ran out...he's like 'where'd you find this cologne?' and i'm like 'oh, i tried it cuz morrissey wears it!' :rolleyes:

Man, I thought that you were kidding about that cologne in the other thread! :eek:

[esheh195]

Man, I thought that you were kidding about that cologne in the other thread! :eek:

Hey..at least I'm honest about it. LOL I have a compulsive need to spend money on shit I don't need...so naturally when I heard that's what he wore, I was like...'well, might as well try it':o Anything to waste money. lol

[Jane]

My family long ago stopped caring about anything that I do. My friends like top 40.

[Morrissey the 23rd]

and what does your therapist have to say about this?

Should I see one again? They keep quiting their jobs to follow Moz after I introduce him to them.

[Not Right in the Head]

Should I see one again? They keep quiting their jobs to follow Moz after I introduce him to them.

That's a very interesting statement, exaggerated or not.

[Morrissey the 23rd]

That's a very interesting statement, exaggerated or not.

I did once see a head doctor and he asked what my friends and family may be concerned about regarding about me. I explained how much Morrissey has influenced me and how much time I dedicate to him. The shrink said he understood and I that have nothing to worry about. That is true.

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

My friends snap up Kelly Clarkson CDs on the day of release. 'Nuff said.

[paintavulgarpicture]

My friends snap up Kelly Clarkson CDs on the day of release. 'Nuff said.

oh dear.

[blink853]

My friends usually call him the original emo, which irritates me, but i found out yeaterday that my sister clearly does understand afterall, because for xmas she got me an andy warhol-stylee morrissey print canvas and a signed photo of him with a certificate of authenticity! Swoon! Another of my older sisters and her husband bought me a vinyl record of "i just want to see the boy happy" a while back when it came out.

I think they all think its phase that will pass, but support me in my addiction!
They are admittedly still concerned over my decision to go to the sunderland gig however

[justme]

I think they all think its phase that will pass, but support me in my addiction!

AH,AH, AH... yes, keep them thinking it's a phase, just don't tell them some of us are still "going through a Moz phase" after ohhh...let's say, 15 years (in my case) :p or more ... :eek:

[justme]

well, let me see:

Parents - have no idea who the man is, but my mother finds his quotes very funny

Brother & sister in law - Like him (more the smiths than Solo, and even have a few smiths records)

Sister & brother in Law - have no clue

Nephews - have no clue, but I will start working on them soon :p

Friends - most like him (even attended gigs) - some are BIG fans and
even those who do not like him, respect his work and my admiration for him.

So it's not too bad, I guess :)

[sweet and tender hooligan]

My dad likes Morrissey and i use to drag him to concerts but he doesn't want to go anymore- so i have to go alone:( My mum thinks he's funny but they both don't like how much i like him and they complain about how my obsession with Morrissey makes me do stupid things:rolleyes:. My brother makes fun of morrissey at any chance he has and my sister doesn't like him. My friends are sick of how many times i talk about him. I always see their eyes rolling when i do.
And that is why i come on here to talk about Morrissey to people who care:cool:

[standingonmyfingers]

My husband doesn't get it, except in a thoughtful, intellectualized way. . .there is no equivalent in his life. That said, he is very understanding and he was truly happy and excited for me when I had my first front-row experience/first holding-Moz's-hand experience and was generous with time (he got to try out stay-at-home-parenting for a whole week) and $$$ when I decided to splash out and go to the NYC residency, then pay an ungodly amount to be front row here at home this fall. He has been witnessing my "crushes" for years now, and while my relationship to Morrissey and his music is more complex than a crush, it's similar in some ways. Hubbi knows by now that I'm a swooner.

My mother dismissed it as "this obsession of yours." I keep telling her that the way she loves Neil Diamond (and lately, Dr. Phil) is similar. I've seen that swoony look in her eyes! She gets it, whether she will admit it or not.

My sister gets it; REM was the band that saved her but the parallels are clear. She's my go-to girl when it comes to gushing about Moz and all things Moz-related.

I long ago came to understand that more people (here in the US, anyway) have never even heard of Morrissey and/or the Smiths than are on the level of fandom I am, and that's OK. As a younger person, I was inflexible when it came to people having similar interests and reference points to mine, but as I've gotten older, I've relaxed a lot and widened my worldview. . .and now it's actually kind of nice to have Moz/the Smiths and my relationship to them and the music all to myself. I've given up trying to explain it to people who "just don't get it," but not in an angry way, as I once did. And it is so nice to occasionally encounter a fan (that's why I love -solo and the people I've met IRL from here. . .while I enjoy having Moz to myself in some company, I enjoy equally the ability to talk about him and his work with people who are equally in the know) that I have really been able to let go of the idea that "No one understands me!!!" which is such a common symptom of youth.

--jeniphir

This reply is my first post on Morrissey-solo. I was supposed to ask this question earlier in the year, forgot, now Morrissey came up in general conversation today and I remembered. You see, I am the husband, not the fan. I like the music, but have no desire to discover any intimate details about him or his life. In the end I don't believe he could be any more interesting than by neighbor. My wife's re-awakened adoration this summer really put me in a place I've never been before. My temporary replacement has put my confidence level at an all-time low. You speak of "having Moz all to yourself" and "not having to explain it". The world is closed off. How many hours a week or a day do you (or any of the others reading, including my wife) spend reading the boards or tracking down Smiths/Morrissey details and history? Editing/collecting videos, pictures and recordings? Privately emailing other new found "secret" friends that aren't discussed? What are you not doing in sacrific? When your young children ask you "What's the deal with Mom and Morrissey?" and you get a lump in your throat, where do you go and what do you do? I'm trying to find an excuse to spend more time with my wife, but I no longer think that my company is what she wants. So I ask you "What's the deal with you and Morrissey?"

[esheh195]

This reply is my first post on Morrissey-solo. I was supposed to ask this question earlier in the year, forgot, now Morrissey came up in general conversation today and I remembered. You see, I am the husband, not the fan. I like the music, but have no desire to discover any intimate details about him or his life. In the end I don't believe he could be any more interesting than by neighbor. My wife's re-awakened adoration this summer really put me in a place I've never been before. My temporary replacement has put my confidence level at an all-time low. You speak of "having Moz all to yourself" and "not having to explain it". The world is closed off. How many hours a week or a day do you (or any of the others reading, including my wife) spend reading the boards or tracking down Smiths/Morrissey details and history? Editing/collecting videos, pictures and recordings? Privately emailing other new found "secret" friends that aren't discussed? What are you not doing in sacrific? When your young children ask you "What's the deal with Mom and Morrissey?" and you get a lump in your throat, where do you go and what do you do? I'm trying to find an excuse to spend more time with my wife, but I no longer think that my company is what she wants. So I ask you "What's the deal with you and Morrissey?"

Wow, dude. Um...IMHO, this might be a topic better reserved for a private marriage counseling session than a Morrissey forum. :confused:

I know for me, the whole "moz to myself" or "not having to explain it" isn't so much due to the fact that I am trying to exclude other people from a little secret Morrissey fantasy world that I have created for just the two of us. It's more that Morrissey's work tends to be rather galvanizing...I think you tend to gravitate towards liking him or hating him rather quickly. A lot of people really just don't get what I love about Morrissey's work, so I don't really try to explain why I feel like I do. Sure, sometimes I spend too much time here chatting with fans or googling stupid pictures to place in a thread (*my own shameful addiction :o)...but honestly, it's an escape like anything else and I know, from personal experience, if I wasn't wasting time on solo, I'd be wasting it elsewhere.
The fact is that if you're feeling alienated from your wife, suffering from admittedly low self confidence because of the situation and have your kids asking what's up with Mommy and Morrissey, maybe you should speak honestly with her rather than voice your frustrations on a worldwide forum. I mean, if I was with someone who wanted to share in my Moz passion, I would be ecstatic. If you feel unwelcome or like you are getting in the way of your wife and her love of Moz...maybe there is bigger problem there than Moz?
I love Morrissey and sure, I can get caught up in Mozmania sometimes. I'll listen to his music more than other bands, read interviews, try to go to multiple shows and chat with fans...but I know for me personally, it's not a situation where I would sacrifice my loved ones well being for a mere popstar...regardless of how big a fan I am. The people who say things like "I would leave my husband or wife for Moz and I tell them so" AND mean it...haha, well simply put...they frighten me. LOL

[Carrion Jack]

This reply is my first post on Morrissey-solo. I was supposed to ask this question earlier in the year, forgot, now Morrissey came up in general conversation today and I remembered. You see, I am the husband, not the fan. I like the music, but have no desire to discover any intimate details about him or his life. In the end I don't believe he could be any more interesting than by neighbor. My wife's re-awakened adoration this summer really put me in a place I've never been before. My temporary replacement has put my confidence level at an all-time low. You speak of "having Moz all to yourself" and "not having to explain it". The world is closed off. How many hours a week or a day do you (or any of the others reading, including my wife) spend reading the boards or tracking down Smiths/Morrissey details and history? Editing/collecting videos, pictures and recordings? Privately emailing other new found "secret" friends that aren't discussed? What are you not doing in sacrific? When your young children ask you "What's the deal with Mom and Morrissey?" and you get a lump in your throat, where do you go and what do you do? I'm trying to find an excuse to spend more time with my wife, but I no longer think that my company is what she wants. So I ask you "What's the deal with you and Morrissey?"

You know, maybe your wife is trying to tell you something. Wives do not abandon you overnight, they slip away slowly. You're blaming a popstar for your problems with your wife? Maybe you should look a little closer to home first.

[Skinner]

My dad makes fun of me for my love of Moz. My mom just wants me to be careful as I travel to all these gigs. Most people thought I was nuts for going to 8 gigs this year. Then when I booked the trip to London and 6 day pass, they knew I was insane.
When most people I know hear the story or see the video of me jumping on stage in DC and hugging him they think its actually pretty cool.

This rules: One of my good friends made me a dozen pins (all different colors) for X-Mas that say "I touched Morrissey". :D And she made pins for our group of friends that say "MY friend touched Morrissey". haha So I guess most of my friends are ok with it. Or they like to mock me.

[Corrissey]

I like the music

This can't be my DH :o

standingonmyfingers,
I don't think you should and I hope you don't -take her Moz adoration personally. Morrissey is an obsession -to all of us in varying degrees- and it's a very hard thing to explain to someone who is not a Morrissey fan, or 'in deep' like we are -but I don't think it's necessarily an unhealthy obsession. He fills a 'void' in the people that his music touches -an unexplainable void that nobody or nothing else could fill, which again is nothing personal. Without going into it, I will say it traces back to my childhood and the life experiences I've had and that Morrissey's music DOES say something to me about my life.

I highly doubt she has replaced you with the love of Moz and I hope she can explain it to you in a way that you won't take offense. Read thru this tread and maybe some of the responses will give you look into the mystery that is Morrissey. Try to understand her and realize his music says something to her (not that you don't) and makes her happy (not that you don't) so really, where is the harm?...unless it cuts into your family time or one on one time, then yes, there should be some sort of compromise.

My DH does not like Morrissey and cannot stand that I do -and he just doesn't 'get it' (he'll even shake his head I DONT GET IT!), but it is 'my thing' --Morrissey was already in my life when he married me for better or for worse ;) and I can actually say that it hurts my feelings that he can't just embrace me for ALL that I am and what I love and just accept it -it does not affect our marriage or the relationship we have with our kids, in fact, I'd like to think it strengthens these bonds because his music honestly strengthens me. My kids love his music too (yes, MOTHER its because their Mother exposed them to it) so he's outnumbered anyway =o)

I do spend too much time here, but coming to solo is a vice of mine -and I don't have many. It's comforting to find others who feel the same way you do about Morrissey -it's a passion (of those, I don't have many) and I consider his music and this site free therapy :) I hope you two can have a quality heart to heart while trying to see it from eachother's side.

Good luck

[Skinner]

Corrissey,
That was beautiful :)

[Corrissey]

Corrissey,
That was beautiful :)

Thanks. And now my DH can read it when he busts in here. :rolleyes:

[EPbabe]

My husband doesn't get it, except in a thoughtful, intellectualized way. . .there is no equivalent in his life. That said, he is very understanding and he was truly happy and excited for me when I had my first front-row experience/first holding-Moz's-hand experience and was generous with time (he got to try out stay-at-home-parenting for a whole week) and $$$ when I decided to splash out and go to the NYC residency, then pay an ungodly amount to be front row here at home this fall. He has been witnessing my "crushes" for years now, and while my relationship to Morrissey and his music is more complex than a crush, it's similar in some ways. Hubbi knows by now that I'm a swooner.
--jeniphir


This reply is my first post on Morrissey-solo. I was supposed to ask this question earlier in the year, forgot, now Morrissey came up in general conversation today and I remembered. You see, I am the husband, not the fan. I like the music, but have no desire to discover any intimate details about him or his life. In the end I don't believe he could be any more interesting than by neighbor. My wife's re-awakened adoration this summer really put me in a place I've never been before. My temporary replacement has put my confidence level at an all-time low. You speak of "having Moz all to yourself" and "not having to explain it". The world is closed off. How many hours a week or a day do you (or any of the others reading, including my wife) spend reading the boards or tracking down Smiths/Morrissey details and history? Editing/collecting videos, pictures and recordings? Privately emailing other new found "secret" friends that aren't discussed? What are you not doing in sacrific? When your young children ask you "What's the deal with Mom and Morrissey?" and you get a lump in your throat, where do you go and what do you do? I'm trying to find an excuse to spend more time with my wife, but I no longer think that my company is what she wants. So I ask you "What's the deal with you and Morrissey?"

After reading the comments from both of you, I decided to reply. First because I present many of the symptoms standingonmyfingers' wife does. But: I do not spend less time with my husband and he doesn't feel less loved just because I'm a (rather obsessed) Morrissey-fan. He considers it a hobby of mine and he knows it makes me happy, so he doesn't mind at all. He's a bit jealous, but in a funny way. :)
Have you ever tried to talk to your wife about your doubts?

[EPbabe]

This can't be my DH :o

standingonmyfingers,
I don't think you should and I hope you don't -take her Moz adoration personally. Morrissey is an obsession -to all of us in varying degrees- and it's a very hard thing to explain to someone who is not a Morrissey fan, or 'in deep' like we are -but I don't think it's necessarily an unhealthy obsession. He fills a 'void' in the people that his music touches -an unexplainable void that nobody or nothing else could fill, which again is nothing personal. Without going into it, I will say it traces back to my childhood and the life experiences I've had and that Morrissey's music DOES say something to me about my life.

I highly doubt she has replaced you with the love of Moz and I hope she can explain it to you in a way that you won't take offense. Read thru this tread and maybe some of the responses will give you look into the mystery that is Morrissey. Try to understand her and realize his music says something to her (not that you don't) and makes her happy (not that you don't) so really, where is the harm?...unless it cuts into your family time or one on one time, then yes, there should be some sort of compromise.

My DH does not like Morrissey and cannot stand that I do -and he just doesn't 'get it' (he'll even shake his head I DONT GET IT!), but it is 'my thing' --Morrissey was already in my life when he married me for better or for worse ;) and I can actually say that it hurts my feelings that he can't just embrace me for ALL that I am and what I love and just accept it -it does not affect our marriage or the relationship we have with our kids, in fact, I'd like to think it strengthens these bonds because his music honestly strengthens me. My kids love his music too (yes, MOTHER its because their Mother exposed them to it) so he's outnumbered anyway =o)

I do spend too much time here, but coming to solo is a vice of mine -and I don't have many. It's comforting to find others who feel the same way you do about Morrissey -it's a passion (of those, I don't have many) and I consider his music and this site free therapy :) I hope you two can have a quality heart to heart while trying to see it from eachother's side.

Good luck

Thank you, I think it pretty much sums up my feelings! ;)

[Skinner]

This reply is my first post on Morrissey-solo. I was supposed to ask this question earlier in the year, forgot, now Morrissey came up in general conversation today and I remembered. You see, I am the husband, not the fan. I like the music, but have no desire to discover any intimate details about him or his life. In the end I don't believe he could be any more interesting than by neighbor. My wife's re-awakened adoration this summer really put me in a place I've never been before. My temporary replacement has put my confidence level at an all-time low. You speak of "having Moz all to yourself" and "not having to explain it". The world is closed off. How many hours a week or a day do you (or any of the others reading, including my wife) spend reading the boards or tracking down Smiths/Morrissey details and history? Editing/collecting videos, pictures and recordings? Privately emailing other new found "secret" friends that aren't discussed? What are you not doing in sacrific? When your young children ask you "What's the deal with Mom and Morrissey?" and you get a lump in your throat, where do you go and what do you do? I'm trying to find an excuse to spend more time with my wife, but I no longer think that my company is what she wants. So I ask you "What's the deal with you and Morrissey?"


Wow. You have just described me and my boyfriend to the T. Its almost scary. Minus the kids, it's spot on. So being that I am pretty much in the same position of your wife, and you of my bf, perhaps I can help.

Getting (re)consumed by Morrissey is something you don't want to fight. It makes you feel young and wonderful. Like you have things to look forward to that you normally wouldn't. Yeah I know talking on this site and reading what others have to say about the man doesnt sound like something you would look forward to, but for many of us who don't have friends etc in our daily lives who understand, this place just makes sense. Furthermore this year has given us so many tour dates, I think a lot of people who got to see him this year fell in love with him again. It's a hard thing to ignore once it has consumed you.

And if you wife feels the way I do, the whole Morrissey thing does NOT take away from the real life, loving relationship with a significant other. My boyfriend freaked out this fall when i didn't see him for the better part of a month because I was always going to and from Moz gigs etc. But in my point of view, this type of behavior is acceptable for your favorites. If my bf's favorite band of all time (Against Me!) were touring like crazy and he wanted to follow them around for a bunch of shows, I would support him and understand that the distance is only temporary. Your favorite artists don't wake up with you every morning. You get to see them when you can. If you have to dedicate some weeks to seeing them and getting your fix, so be it. I'll still be there when its all over. Thats just how I see it.

My bf eventually realized that I do love him. I love Morrissey too but come on; its not like I'm going to run off and have an affair with him. I hope that your marriage is strong and your wife realizes that perhaps she does need to spend some time with you and work on the time you have together and perhaps she does need to spend some more time with the family and less doing Moz type things.

But all in all I think it would be safe to say you are not losing her to Moz. I say be honest with her and give it time. She'll come around and everything will be fine.

[Corrissey]

Skinner,
That was beautiful :)

[Raquel]

This thread has taken an interesting turn.
I do not doubt that some of us have turned to our Morrissey obsession as diversion from the more unpleasant aspects of our lives, I know I have this year.
If anything, my Morrissey obsession has made me much more satisfied with life and a happier partner to my mate. Thank God he supports it without perhaps fully understanding it!

[Corrissey]

If anything, my Morrissey obsession has made me much more satisfied with life and a happier partner to my mate. Thank God he supports it without perhaps fully understanding it!

I think you know -and can tell- what a blessing that is. :D Hang onto him :)

[bogdana]

my tooth hurts... i got fillings more than a week ago it shouldn't still hurt.

[vicarinatutugal]

my tooth hurts... i got fillings more than a week ago it shouldn't still hurt.

did you put this in the wrong place or does your tooth hurt because of your adoration of Morrissey,

ps my tooth hurts as well.

[oscillate wildly]

I was watching the Complete Picture dvd yesterday and my mum said Morrissey needs an eyebrow wax. hahahaha.

I told her his eyebrows are extremely cool and can't be touched. :P

But she got me a Morrissey shirt yesterday so she apparently doesn't mind, heh.

[Harsh Truth]

I tend not to talk about it much because there's no point. It's my thing. What anyone else really thinks of it is not much use to me. I used to get self-conscious about it years ago when I first started going long-distance by myself for Moz shows - everyone thought I was nuts (I am.) But here's the truth: I know its the single-most fun thing I can possibly do, so thats all that matters.

Nowadays I usually I just say "I'm going to LA" or "I'm going to Atlantic City" or "I'm going to Columbus" or whatever the case might be. By now most know what I'm up to.

[Claudia2006]

This reply is my first post on Morrissey-solo. I was supposed to ask this question earlier in the year, forgot, now Morrissey came up in general conversation today and I remembered. You see, I am the husband, not the fan. I like the music, but have no desire to discover any intimate details about him or his life. In the end I don't believe he could be any more interesting than by neighbor. My wife's re-awakened adoration this summer really put me in a place I've never been before. My temporary replacement has put my confidence level at an all-time low. You speak of "having Moz all to yourself" and "not having to explain it". The world is closed off. How many hours a week or a day do you (or any of the others reading, including my wife) spend reading the boards or tracking down Smiths/Morrissey details and history? Editing/collecting videos, pictures and recordings? Privately emailing other new found "secret" friends that aren't discussed? What are you not doing in sacrific? When your young children ask you "What's the deal with Mom and Morrissey?" and you get a lump in your throat, where do you go and what do you do? I'm trying to find an excuse to spend more time with my wife, but I no longer think that my company is what she wants. So I ask you "What's the deal with you and Morrissey?"

Wow.... if you honestly do see Morrissey as your "temporary replacement," then I agree with the ones who said that you'd be better off talking to a marriage counselor than any of us.

But since you're here and you asked, Morrissey's music and yes, Morrissey himself, are a huge comfort to me in many ways. I empathize strongly with his songs, and what he talks about onstage and in interviews. Besides his lovely voice and his beautiful lyrics, he is someone I look up to both as a writer and as a person. Based on all this, I really do love him as a person... for his strength, honesty, and his strong connection to his audience, among other things.

My DH doesn't quite "get it" either, but he also doesn't seem to think that Moz is a threat to our marriage. My husband is and always will be much more important to me than Morrissey. Like Skinner said, Moz isn't the one I wake up next to every morning. My DH has moments when he gets upset about Moz and we argue occasionally, but I'd be devastated if I thought my husband really believed that Moz was an actual threat to my love for him. Moz is a pop singer who I freely admit I adore and feel a very strong connection to, but I love my husband way more than him. I try to make sure my DH knows he's #1, but I don't always succeed. Maybe your wife doesn't even realize how she's making you feel. OTOH, none of my Morrissey friends are "secret." I email people I know because of Morrissey often but my DH is welcome to read anything I write to them... nothing I have to say is secret. Again, your wife may not realize that she's making you feel excluded, and if you just ask her she'll tell you.

I do spend a lot of time reading this site and others, sorting through pictures, etc. and I spent a lot of time and money going to see Moz this past year. I added it up, and it came to nearly 30 days away from home! :eek: But, when I'm home I try to make sure my DH knows I'm HERE. Sometimes he has to tell me to close the laptop, but I always do and I feel bad if he has to remind me to pay attention to him. I try to be sensitive to stuff like that b/c I know I can wander off into my own little world very easily and it's hard for me to wander back sometimes, but that's just me and it has nothing to do with Moz. (We don't have any children other than the 4 legged kind, so I can't comment on how your kids feel about Moz).

One final thing:
...I'd like to think it strengthens these bonds because his music honestly strengthens me. This is beautiful Corrissey. I think it's true. One thing that I have said to my DH when he has his occasional outburst over Moz, is: "Am I a better or worse person than the person I was 2 years ago?" (Pre-Moz). When it comes down to it, and he puts aside any jealousy at the time I spend on Morrissey, he cannot argue with me that any changes have been positive as far as my emotional and even physical health.

[9 x Fined]

My friends try to embarrass me over liking Moz. I couldn't really give a shit.

My parents can relate to him though, as they come from an era of crooners, like Elvis, Sinatra etc

[mell]

Great posts everyone...I'm particularly touched by what Corrissey, Skinner, and Claudia wrote.

My best friends don't understand the "Moz thing" and insist that I'm crazy. Most won't spend money to go with me to his shows. Oh well...he makes me happy so I don't care that much what they think. (Though it would be nice if they all loved Morrissey so I'd have more friends to go to shows with!) I'm really glad I found solo because it's really comforting to meet other people who love him too! But now I think I like Morrissey so much that I could never date/marry someone who despises him. :eek:

[jeniphir]

Haven't been back to this thread since my original post. Just wanted to uber-clarify, that "StandingOnMyFingers" is not my actual husband. I don't think he meant to imply it, either (I think he was just likening his own situation to what he read in my original post), but the way things are quoted later in the thread, I wanted to make it completely, totally clear what the deal is.

SOMF, I think you and yr wife would do well to seek some counselling, or at least you should do so for yrself, even if it's just to reassure you that things are OK. No sane woman is going to leave her family for Morrissey. If there are other problems going on, and a newly-rekindled passion for Morrissey (or any other hobby or passion) is giving yr wife an excuse or reason to spend time away from you, yr kids, or yr home, that is something that needs to be addressed.

On the flipside, if it's something that gives yr wife joy and maybe reminds her of a part of herself she may feel got lost along the way, what's the harm? A happy wife, even if she's happy for reasons you can't understand, is better than a dissatisfied one.

Talk to her, without anger and suspicion (I worry from yr original post that you suspect her of cheating. . .online or otherwise. . .which is a HUGE issue), or if that won't work, seek out professional help to work through issues.

I tend to assume it is likely just something that makes her happy, not a threat to the stability of yr family. . .but there could be many other issues at play here, that we couldn't begin to understand based on what you've said here.

Good luck and peace to you and yours.

--jeniphir

[paintavulgarpicture]

Great posts everyone...I'm particularly touched by what Corrissey, Skinner, and Claudia wrote.


Yeah, same here, thanks everyone for replying. And yes, this thread did take an interesting turn.

[wilmamozzer]

My friends don't understand Morrissey, they like Tokio Hotel and weird swedish bands. The people in my class only listen to hip hop and they use so much make up you cant hardley see there faces. They all thinks I am insane but I don't care. my english teacher is getting a bit anoyed about the fact that every time you can chose what to write/talk about I chose Moz. But my parents gave me their old Smiths Lp's. So thats at least something. But my grandma likes how he dances over the stage. But I think only true morrissey fans can understand who you can like so much more about moz than his music, how you can read books and buy dvds. Am I right?

[Skinner]

My friends don't understand Morrissey, they like Tokio Hotel and weird swedish bands. The people in my class only listen to hip hop and they use so much make up you cant hardley see there faces. They all thinks I am insane but I don't care. my english teacher is getting a bit anoyed about the fact that every time you can chose what to write/talk about I chose Moz. But my parents gave me their old Smiths Lp's. So thats at least something. But my grandma likes how he dances over the stage. But I think only true morrissey fans can understand who you can like so much more about moz than his music, how you can read books and buy dvds. Am I right?

I get what you're saying I think. Do you mean like the joy that you get from collecting Moz/Smiths music etc? That certainly does bring a lot of enjoyment to us fans. I remember getting into Moz originally and finding out he had so many albums and the Smiths had a number of albums as well. I just looked forward to picking up their albums so that I would hear more and more of his music. It was something that I smiled about just when thinking about it.

And I know what you mean about peers not getting it. I got into Moz at college and other than the friends I lived with (they were Smiths fans), no one else even know who I was talking about haha.

[wilmamozzer]

Well in my school most students haven't even heard of morrissey, so my struggle to get them into his music is not very rewarding. And the whole thing about trying to get people to understand that eating meat is wrong. I tried for about a year but the boys in my class are going hunting on the country-side. they are very proud when they kill a little rabbit. from my point of view it all seams a bit hopless but you shall never give upp.

[esheh195]

And I know what you mean about peers not getting it. I got into Moz at college and other than the friends I lived with (they were Smiths fans), no one else even know who I was talking about haha.

HAHA! I'm at the point where I'm actually shocked if someone knows who I'm talking about when I mentioned Morrissey. The typical response I get from people if I bring up Moz is "You mena from the Doors?? Isn't he dead?" :rolleyes::p LOL!
I was actually shocked when I mentioned I was going to the Hammerstein shows to one of my friends. I was expecting the typical "who's that?" from him as not one person I mentioned it to knew who I was talking about and if I played some of his music for them...they made fun of it. But instead he was like "Wow, man...that's cool. I like his older band better though, man. The Smiths...you ever hear of them? The music was better than his solo stuff." I was like...."um...you are officially my best friend based solely on coolness right now." :D

[Patrick McGoohan]

This reply is my first post on Morrissey-solo. I was supposed to ask this question earlier in the year, forgot, now Morrissey came up in general conversation today and I remembered. You see, I am the husband, not the fan. I like the music, but have no desire to discover any intimate details about him or his life. In the end I don't believe he could be any more interesting than by neighbor. My wife's re-awakened adoration this summer really put me in a place I've never been before. My temporary replacement has put my confidence level at an all-time low. You speak of "having Moz all to yourself" and "not having to explain it". The world is closed off. How many hours a week or a day do you (or any of the others reading, including my wife) spend reading the boards or tracking down Smiths/Morrissey details and history? Editing/collecting videos, pictures and recordings? Privately emailing other new found "secret" friends that aren't discussed? What are you not doing in sacrific? When your young children ask you "What's the deal with Mom and Morrissey?" and you get a lump in your throat, where do you go and what do you do? I'm trying to find an excuse to spend more time with my wife, but I no longer think that my company is what she wants. So I ask you "What's the deal with you and Morrissey?"

I am so sorry for you. :(

You should have a frank discussion with your wife. She needs to get her head out of the clouds and back to real life. Maybe go see a therapist, or something (her, not you).

She needs to get it thru her skull that Moz is never, EVER going to be with her, he is not secretly in love with her, and she needs to remember what is important (her family).

Then, maybe consider marriage counseling.

Good luck, friend. :D

P.S. I went through the same thing (on the fan side, though), and it nearly ruined me. I don't like to see it happen to others. Best wishes. :)

[paintavulgarpicture]

HAHA! I'm at the point where I'm actually shocked if someone knows who I'm talking about when I mentioned Morrissey...

I know exactly what you mean - none of my flatmates apart from 1 have a clue who The Smiths or Morrissey are. One of my flatmates is German, so is really into all this dodgy German rap and reggae, it is dire. Then one of my other flatmates blasts out Westlife at about 4am, and another one is into chart-friendly generic dance, pop and r'n'b. I don't ever really feel like talking to them about music - I don't see any point. I'm not really bothered or willing to try and convert them to liking what I do. Its nice I share it on my own sometimes. But then its also nice to come to a place like this where people do actually know what I'm talking about.

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

This reply is my first post on Morrissey-solo. I was supposed to ask this question earlier in the year, forgot, now Morrissey came up in general conversation today and I remembered. You see, I am the husband, not the fan. I like the music, but have no desire to discover any intimate details about him or his life. In the end I don't believe he could be any more interesting than by neighbor. My wife's re-awakened adoration this summer really put me in a place I've never been before. My temporary replacement has put my confidence level at an all-time low. You speak of "having Moz all to yourself" and "not having to explain it". The world is closed off. How many hours a week or a day do you (or any of the others reading, including my wife) spend reading the boards or tracking down Smiths/Morrissey details and history? Editing/collecting videos, pictures and recordings? Privately emailing other new found "secret" friends that aren't discussed? What are you not doing in sacrific? When your young children ask you "What's the deal with Mom and Morrissey?" and you get a lump in your throat, where do you go and what do you do? I'm trying to find an excuse to spend more time with my wife, but I no longer think that my company is what she wants. So I ask you "What's the deal with you and Morrissey?"

I'm sure I'm not the only one trying to figure out whose husband this is...

If things have degenerated to that point in your marriage, then it doesn't follow that Morrissey is the cause. These things don't happen overnight. I have been married for a long time, I have seen how relationships change over time. Nobody wakes up one day and decides they're done.

You said, "I'm trying to find an excuse to spend more time with my wife..." Why do you need an excuse? Where have you been, if not with her? These things are never one-sided.

You need to get yourself to a counselor of some kind and figure out what is going on, instead of making a (rather disturbing) plea for help from strangers over the internet. Because I'm more than a little scared for your wife right now.

[Patrick McGoohan]

I'm sure I'm not the only one trying to figure out whose husband this is...


So, it's not your husband, then? Ok, then, that only leaves one other person on here...

*maniacal laughter*

P.S. I don't think it's a 'disturbing plea'. I feel sorry for the guy, deep down. :(

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

So, it's not your husband, then? Ok, then, that only leaves one other person on here...

*maniacal laughter*

P.S. I don't think it's a 'disturbing plea'. I feel sorry for the guy, deep down. :(

Well, so do I... but seriously, I've been married to the same guy for half my life and I would be mortified if he took our problems to the public, or to my friends, instead of talking to me. God, people have no sense of privacy or dignity anymore. That's something I love about Morrissey, he sometimes seems to be the only celebrity with any dignity. That alone makes him not really a celebrity, doesn't it? Just a guy with a really, really strange job.

[Patrick McGoohan]

Well, so do I... but seriously, I've been married to the same guy for half my life and I would be mortified if he took our problems to the public, or to my friends, instead of talking to me. God, people have no sense of privacy or dignity anymore.

Maybe he HAS tried talking to his wife, to no avail.
Maybe he is at the end of his rope, and maybe, just maybe, he's usually one of the most private, dignified people you'd ever know.
He might just be getting desperate and need someone, anyone, to talk to, in which case, I'd be more than glad to help.
Judge not, lest ye be judged.

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

Maybe he HAS tried talking to his wife, to no avail.
Maybe he is at the end of his rope, and maybe, just maybe, he's usually one of the most private, dignified people you'd ever know.
He might just be getting desperate and need someone, anyone, to talk to, in which case, I'd be more than glad to help.
Judge not, lest ye be judged.

Did they offer relationship counseling training in the British Secret Service? I had no idea you were so versatile. :p That's the real reason you retired, wasn't it? You got sick of listening to your fellow agents' marital woes... "Screw this shit, do I look like Dr. Ruth? I am so outta here..." and zoom goes the little sportscar.

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

And for the record, back to topic, my DH doesn't like Morrissey at all, never did. Groaned when I'd put on Smiths albums early on... when I'd go to shows, this summer, he'd wrinkle his cute little brow at me, and I'd say, "Sweetie, you try staying home with two little boys all day. I'm going on vacation, back in 24 hours!" Well, New York was more than 24 hours, but god knows I deserved a few days off.

The upside of all this is that he's taken an interest in music, and we go see local bands play often now, something we never really did,even before we had kids. It's ok if he doesn't "get" Morrissey. He does like Speedway, though. He found the Vegas Pearl show in June to be much better than the Chicago show in May. He was also drunker, that might have something to do with it...

[standingonmyfingers]

Firstly, thank all of you for replying to my question. Information is good. Opinions are good. Different views are good.

Secondly, I apologize for highjacking jeniphir's post and taking it in another direction. And no, jeniphir is not my wife nor any of you. My wife reads much but posts little.

Thirdly, I had no intention of criticizing or blamely Morrissey or his work. My issues did not originate with him. I am the sole source.

Fourthly, of course there are issues beyond Morrissey between my wife and I. The Morrissey immersion was just a sympton that made me itch with an impossible ferocity. His is sexy. He is emotional. He is a poet. He is a celebrity. He is personal yet public. He is shy but not. I could go on. When you added all these qualities up, it didn't look good for lowly me. Anger and jealousy are very blinding. There is meaningful discourse between my wife and I and things will get better, as long as the lines of communication stay open.

Lastly, I am, for the most part, a very tight person, as you can see by my ordinal post. The concept of being abstractly enveloped in the art of a person is obviously hard to explain and equally hard to understand. It can not be quantified or cataloged. There is no parrallel in my life to match this aspect of hers. I needed to know the mechanisim behind the obession as if to find a cure. As if something needed to be cured. I will never know the mechanism behind the obession but I did realize that I, in fact, do have a parrallel aspect in my life. I adore my wife. I can not quantify or catalog my feelings. I am her biggest fan. I find her talents amazing and beautiful. I want to be in her physical presence as often as possible. Being "enveloped" in her love corrected my life long ago. Unfortunately, I have not been to her what she is to me. I hope that there will be future opportunity to be what she needs.

Thanks, No.6 for your offer to discuss the matter, but I don't want to rob my wife of something she enjoys. Further contact might be embarassing plus we don't want No.2 to find out.

[nugz]

Firstly, thank all of you for replying to my question. Information is good. Opinions are good. Different views are good.

Secondly, I apologize for highjacking jeniphir's post and taking it in another direction. And no, jeniphir is not my wife nor any of you. My wife reads much but posts little.

Thirdly, I had no intention of criticizing or blamely Morrissey or his work. My issues did not originate with him. I am the sole source.

Fourthly, of course there are issues beyond Morrissey between my wife and I. The Morrissey immersion was just a sympton that made me itch with an impossible ferocity. His is sexy. He is emotional. He is a poet. He is a celebrity. He is personal yet public. He is shy but not. I could go on. When you added all these qualities up, it didn't look good for lowly me. Anger and jealousy are very blinding. There is meaningful discourse between my wife and I and things will get better, as long as the lines of communication stay open.

Lastly, I am, for the most part, a very tight person, as you can see by my ordinal post. The concept of being abstractly enveloped in the art of a person is obviously hard to explain and equally hard to understand. It can not be quantified or cataloged. There is no parrallel in my life to match this aspect of hers. I needed to know the mechanisim behind the obession as if to find a cure. As if something needed to be cured. I will never know the mechanism behind the obession but I did realize that I, in fact, do have a parrallel aspect in my life. I adore my wife. I can not quantify or catalog my feelings. I am her biggest fan. I find her talents amazing and beautiful. I want to be in her physical presence as often as possible. Being "enveloped" in her love corrected my life long ago. Unfortunately, I have not been to her what she is to me. I hope that there will be future opportunity to be what she needs.

Thanks, No.6 for your offer to discuss the matter, but I don't want to rob my wife of something she enjoys. Further contact might be embarassing plus we don't want No.2 to find out.

aww, you sound like a really sweet and caring husband. I hope everything works out with you and your wife. :)

[paintavulgarpicture]

I adore my wife. I can not quantify or catalog my feelings. I am her biggest fan. I find her talents amazing and beautiful. I want to be in her physical presence as often as possible. Being "enveloped" in her love corrected my life long ago. Unfortunately, I have not been to her what she is to me. I hope that there will be future opportunity to be what she needs.



This was a beautiful post. To follow the sentiments of nugz, i also hope that everything works out okay with your wife.

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

Firstly, thank all of you for replying to my question. Information is good. Opinions are good. Different views are good.

Secondly, I apologize for highjacking jeniphir's post and taking it in another direction....

Ok, well, that sounds nice, but I still maintain that you should not be airing your dirty laundry like this. That can't be helping matters. I'm sorry you're having trouble, and I hope it all works out to the good.



Best wishes.

[paintavulgarpicture]

Well, so do I... but seriously, I've been married to the same guy for half my life and I would be mortified if he took our problems to the public, or to my friends, instead of talking to me. God, people have no sense of privacy or dignity anymore. That's something I love about Morrissey, he sometimes seems to be the only celebrity with any dignity. That alone makes him not really a celebrity, doesn't it? Just a guy with a really, really strange job.

I second this - he is, to me, the only celebrity that has any dignity. He has enormous strength of character to remain true to himself, and always to maintain his privacy. Also, the fact that the people who have shared relationships (whether close friendships or more) with him have remained quiet, without "kiss and telling" etc, says a lot about him also - he is obviously very very wary with who he lets into his life, and of course, this is understandable. And yes, it does make him in effect a well known and well admired person, with a very very strange job.

[westendgirl]

Well, friends and family think I go a bit over the top with Morrissey. My mom can't understand why I want to spend money on buying things haveing to do with him, says that this is only a phase (though I can't wait to prove her wrong), but in the end likes his music, and continues to say that she wishes somehow she couldn't get him to come to this graduation party she insists on having for me early next year, though I continue to object (though if she can get him here, I won't be objecting anymore :D) (Heck, we wouldn't be at the party! I'd take him somewhere quiet to talk instead). I keep telling her she's crazy, cuz there's no way he would ever, probably, BUT it's the thought that counts. :p So obviously she understands the importance of him in my life.

But still, her and my two closest friends mock me because of my intense love and admiration of him. Though I know it's all out of love, because they "like" his music.

My closest out of the two friends, I am thankful to have though because even though we don't have the same taste in various things, we have always respected each other for what we have a passion for, and she respect's my Moz passion and tries to seem as interested as possible as I blabber on about him constantly. She, although not feeling the same way I do about Moz, is the one I can turn to to tell anything Moz associated. And get excited with me. Or tell me I'm crazy. Either way, she's supportive of it. Though all three think I am crazy and worry of this passion sometimes.

[AmgoingtoseeMoz]

I think everyone around me like Moz, but I think everyone knows that I like him more than anyone else. My Mom too doesn't see the big deal about Moz, but like a few songs from him. So am think I have it good that everyone understands that if Moz is in town, I have to be there :)

[madathena]

My friends tolerate it. They all know I'm nuts and they like Moz a little, but not in the way I do. My boyfriend has been dragged to many shows but he agrees to go with me, so, I guess he enjoys going with me to things that make me happy. And vice versa, I do not enjoy VNV Nation, for example, but will go with him and not pout through the show. I don't think most of my family even knows who he is. Oh and my coworkers think it's funny. They aren't surprised when I mention strange things relating to Morrissey anymore. I share my love of Morrissey with myspace and livejournal friends.

[Dow Jones]

None of my family have any idea who the hell he is and I only make fleeting references.
Around my family I'm weird about David Bowie... and just David Bowie. Mainly cos it's easy to get a reaction and my mum instigates it.


I have all of one friend and he doesn't care. He picks on me the same way I pick on him.
The best thing he's said is 'You totally wanna comb Moz's eyebrows.' I didn't disagree.

[nowherefast944]

My friends seem to think I'm a little obsessive. Though I could be worse. They 'like' The Smiths and Morrissey, but they don't know any of the songs really. It's strange, I guess?

They don't really care all too much, but they seem to be annoyed at times when he gets brought up and I (can) talk forever about him. Surprisingly, none of them want to come to see a show of his with me.

[laughing_anne]

They think I'm a bit obsessive. Which is fair enough, I guess. I mean, I can see how they could come to that conclusion since my laptop is full of moz related stuff. I have one friend who shares this obsession with me. Needless to say, I am to blame for it :rolleyes:

[mauve21]

You know, maybe your wife is trying to tell you something. Wives do not abandon you overnight, they slip away slowly. You're blaming a popstar for your problems with your wife? Maybe you should look a little closer to home first.

Oh. That's interesting stuff. Reminds me of back when I first loved
Mr. Morrissey and my then husband being not very impressed when I came home with The Art of Peepholism book under my arm, and he commented
:- "He seems like a total poofer..." or words to that effect.
Anyway, all fantasies aside I believe unhealthy obsessions all have
their root and if your wife's so besotted maybe you need to do something to get her attention......

[handwriting]

To be honest, it helps provide some balance in the eyes of my friends. I've always found that those who are a little perplexed by my willingness to drop everything and travel anywhere to see Madonna or George Michael (both of whom I've seen dozens of times) are more likely to be impressed when I say that I've planned an American holiday around seeing dates on Morrissey's tour....