The Moz/Smiths Top 100, Part 205: TONY THE PONY

[Houdini]

Let's compile our own Morrissey/Smiths Top 100 by rating all 232 Moz/Smiths-songs.

Song for Today: TONY THE PONY

Voting should be something along these lines:
10: Perfection
9: Near perfect, brilliant
8: Really good Moz/Smiths song
7: Good Moz/Smiths song
6: OK, Nothing special
5: Uninspired
4: Poor
3: Bad
2: Should never have been released
1: He/They should be ashamed

The songs so far (voting is still open, click to vote):

Part 204: Tomorrow (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=81464)
Part 203: To Me You Are A Work Of Art (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=81426)
Part 202: This Night Has Opened My Eyes (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=81386)
Part 201: This Is Not Your Country (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=81341)
Part 200: This Charming Man (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=81281)
Part 199: These Things Take Time (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=81236)
Part 198: There's A Place In Hell For Me And My Friends (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=81193)
Part 197: There Speaks A True Friend (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=81156)
Part 196: There Is A Light That Never Goes Out (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=81117)
Part 195: The Youngest Was The Most Loved (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=81083)
Part 194: The World Is Full Of Crashing Bores (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=81052)
Part 193: The Teachers Are Afraid Of The Pupils (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=80995)
Part 192: The Queen Is Dead (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=80923)
Part 191: The Public Image (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=80811)
Part 190: The Ordinary Boys (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=80771)
Part 189: The Operation (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=80745)
Part 188: The Never Played Symphonies (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=80634)
Part 187: The National Front Disco (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=80545)
Part 186: The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=80496)
Part 185: The Loop (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=80450)
Part 184: The Lazy Sunbathers (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=80409)
Part 183: The Last Of The Famous International Playboys (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=80300)
Part 182: The Headmaster Ritual (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=80348)
Part 181: The Harsh Truth Of The Camera Eye (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=80260)
Part 180: The Hand That Rocks The Cradle (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=80225)
Part 179: The Father Who Must Be Killed (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=80203)
Part 178: The Edges Are No Longer Parallel (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=80143)
Part 177: The Draize Train (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=80111)
Part 176: The Boy With The Thorn In His Side (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=80071)
Part 175: The Boy Racer (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=80040)
Part 174: That's Entertainment (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=80004)
Part 173: That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=79972)
Part 172: Teenage Dad On His Estate (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=79931)
Part 171: Sweetie Pie
Part 170: Sweet And Tender Hooligan (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=79759)
Part 169: Sunny (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=79710)
Part 168: Suffer Little Children
Part 167: Suedehead (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=79575)
Part 166: Such A Little Thing Makes Such A Big Difference
Part 165: Stretch Out And Wait
Part 164: Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=79377)
Part 163: Still Ill (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=79252)
Part 162: Spring-Heeled Jim
Part 161: Speedway (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=79159)
Part 160: Southpaw
Part 159: Sorrow Will Come In The End
Part 158: Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others
Part 157: Slum Mums
Part 156: Skin Storm
Part 155: Sister, I'm A Poet (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=78857)
Part 154: Sing Your Life
Part 153: Shoplifters Of The World Unite (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=78770)
Part 152: Sheila Take A Bow
Part 151: Shakespeare's Sister
Part 150: Seasick Yet Still Docked (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=78609)
Part 149: Satan Rejected My Soul
Part 148: Rusholme Ruffians
Part 147: Rubber Ring (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=78444)
Part 146: Roy's Keen
Part 145: Reel Around The Fountain (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=78386)
Part 144: Redondo Beach
Part 143: Reader Meet Author
Part 142: Pretty Girls Make Graves
Part 141: Pregnant For The Last Time
Part 140: Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=78163)
Part 139: Piccadilly Palare
Part 138: Pashernate Love
Part 137: Papa Jack
Part 136: Panic (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=78042)
Part 135: Paint A Vulgar Picture (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=77981)
Part 134: Our Frank
Part 133: Ouija Board, Ouija Board
Part 132: Oscillate Wildly
Part 131: On The Streets I Ran
Part 130: Oh Well, I'll Never Learn
Part 129: Nowhere Fast
Part 128: Now My Heart Is Full (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=77664)
Part 127: Now I Am A Was
Part 126: November Spawned A Monster (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=77601)
Part 125: Noise Is The Best Revenge
Part 124: Nobody Loves Us (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=77524)
Part 123: No One Can Hold A Candle To You
Part 122: Never Had No One Ever
Part 121: My Love Life
Part 120: My Life Is A Succession Of People Saying Goodbye
Part 119: Mute Witness
Part 118: Munich Air Disaster 1958
Part 117: Moonriver
Part 116: Money Changes Everything
Part 115: Miserable Lie
Part 114: Michael's Bones
Part 113: Mexico
Part 112: Meat Is Murder
Part 111: Margaret On The Guillotine
Part 110: Maladjusted
Part 109: Lucky Lisp
Part 108: Lost
Part 107: London
Part 106: Little Man, What Now?
Part 105: Lifeguard Sleeping, Girl Drowning
Part 104: Life Is A Pigsty (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=76672)
Part 103: Let the Right One Slip In
Part 102: Let Me Kiss You
Part 101: Late Night, Maudlin Street (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=76554)
Part 100: Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=76504),
(follow this link for first 99 songs).

Best performing songs, parts 1 to 99 (click to vote):

Part 96: Jack The Ripper (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=76326)
Part 93: Irish Blood, English Heart (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=76176)
Part 88: I've Changed My Plea To Guilty (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=75911)
Part 83: I Won't Share You (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=75641)
Part 81: I Want The One I Can't Have (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=75545)
Part 77: I Know It's Over (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=75303)
Part 65: How Soon Is Now? (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=74712)
Part 61: Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=74491)
Part 57: Handsome Devil (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=74213)
Part 56: Hand In Glove (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=74150)
Part 55: Half A Person (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=74076)
Part 54: Hairdresser On Fire (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=74018)
Part 50: Girlfriend In A Coma (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=73727)
Part 42: First Of The Gang To Die (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=73179)
Part 41: Everyday Is Like Sunday (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=73130)
Part 36: Disappointed (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=72819)
Part 26: Cemetry Gates (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=72311)
Part 21: Bigmouth Strikes Again (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=72045)
Part 14: Asleep (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=71665)
Part 1: A Rush And A Push And The Land Is Ours (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=71058)

[CrystalGeezer]

I hate this song because it so perfectly sums up the life I'm enslaved to. Musically it's lovely, emotionally it makes me rage.

[Not Right in the Head]

Sorry to recycle such a recent joke, but I hear this song, it makes me puke.

Tacking this on to the end of the US Kill Uncle version is jarring and perhaps the single worst song placement in Morrissey's entire solo catalog. At least with "Sorrow Will Come in the End," they decided to make it the penultimate song on Maladjusted, where it's easier to ignore.

[CrystalGeezer]

Sorry to recycle such a recent joke, but I hear this song, it makes me puke.

Tacking this on to the end of the US Kill Uncle version is jarring and perhaps the single worst song placement in Morrissey's entire solo catalog. At least with "Sorrow Will Come in the End," they decided to make it the penultimate song on Maladjusted, where it's easier to ignore.
I thought the same exact thing! It was like sticking a post it note of an extra dancer on the bottom of a Matisse painting.

[Maurice E]

Well I'm gonna stick up for Tone even if no-one else will!
I love this song. It's Mark E Nevin's favourite Morrissey song and with good reason. It's a great little song. An interesting, unusual lyric, some great ad-libbed vocals and a really lovely cello part. What's not to like!

[Radio Berlin]

I love this song! :):):)

[jeniphir]

2. Although to be fair, I feel rather 2ish about most of Kill Uncle. . .

--jeniphir

[Skinner]

I gave it a 7. Although I have a new found respect for all things Kill Uncle...it's no King Leer :rolleyes:

[DipYourHeadInAVatOfGhee]

It's just a bit bleeeurgh. 5/10

[bored]

I agree that its placement is terrible but the song itself is one I have always liked very much. It and Girlfriend Home are easily my two faves on the record. I know most people don't think highly of it but I dislike quite a few very popular Smiths song.

I gave it an 8. A very solid 8 for me.

[Vauxhall95]

Sorry to recycle such a recent joke, but I hear this song, it makes me puke.

Tacking this on to the end of the US Kill Uncle version is jarring and perhaps the single worst song placement in Morrissey's entire solo catalog. At least with "Sorrow Will Come in the End," they decided to make it the penultimate song on Maladjusted, where it's easier to ignore.

It reminds me of when CD's first arrived on the scene and artists who cleverly added "the bonus track." Personally, I think Nirvana's Nevermind was the best album with one because you had to fast forward like twenty six minutes after the last song concluded to find the "song."

Back to the song, I don't love it or hate. It's a meeh five.

[Uncleskinny]

Absolutely top-notch. One of his best lyrics by a mile. 10.

Peter

[King Leer]

Never thought much of the track, but was it ever established who the "Tony" in question is?

[Skinner]

Never thought much of the track, but was it ever established who the "Tony" in question is?

Nice name :D I don't know what it is but Kill Uncle has taken over my life and King Leer has to be my favorite track on that disc. Just saying...

[King Leer]

Back when I joined this site in the late 90s I thought it was a good user name, but the song itself isn't anywhere near my top 20. I like the rockabilly version though:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=WmmUorpsSNY

Another song where I'd like to know who it's about...


Nice name :D I don't know what it is but Kill Uncle has taken over my life and King Leer has to be my favorite track on that disc. Just saying...

[Corrissey]

I don't know what it is but Kill Uncle has taken over my life

Glad to hear it...my evil plan is working ;)

Tony, 'kills Uncle' as I wish the album would end on There's A Place In Hell For Me and My Friends...and it does for me cuz I usually skip this song.

This is also the one song I do not like Morrissey's falsetto "ahhooo ahhooo"... grating. This song is just okay -a 5.

p.s. I listened to it in the car this morn and my 3 1/2 yr old sez "Horsey Morsey Corsey". :p

[Comtesse]

What is wrong with you people giving this wonderful ditty such low scores? It's such a great song! It makes me smile every time I hear it. I love the music, the echo on Morrissey's voice, the melody, the lyrics. I love that people think that Morrissey sings "fucked-up Tony" (nowadays he probably would - but not back then). It's easily the best song from the Kill Uncle era, by a country-mile. Give Tony a 9!

[vicarinatutugal]

I like it for the sweary word. :p not many songs I enjoy from this era but I do like this one.

[Uncleskinny]

I like it for the sweary word. :p not many songs I enjoy from this era but I do like this one.

Wonderful, wonderful song, hugely under-rated. I can't be arsed looking, but we had a discussion about the sweary word some time back. The upshot was that the majority of listeners heard the words "soft-touch Tony" and not "fucked-up Tony". This makes sense, following the previous "gullible Tony".

Toodle-Pip!

Peter

[vicarinatutugal]

Wonderful, wonderful song, hugely under-rated. I can't be arsed looking, but we had a discussion about the sweary word some time back. The upshot was that the majority of listeners heard the words "soft-touch Tony" and not "fucked-up Tony". This makes sense, following the previous "gullible Tony".

Toodle-Pip!

Peter

I recall that discussion, I was in the minority then cause I then and now still hear Fucked but then maybe that is just my mucky mind! :eek:

[meat_is_murder19]

Nice song,lyrics are funny 9 from me

[bored]

I recall that discussion, I was in the minority then cause I then and now still hear Fucked but then maybe that is just my mucky mind! :eek:

I'm 100% devoted to the "fucked up tony" lyric. That's what I've always heard.

[lightupvirginmary]

I havent even bothered to burn this to my itunes so I know it's seriously bad.

[Comtesse]

I havent even bothered to burn this to my itunes so I know it's seriously bad.

You are seriously mistaken! It's a charmer from first note to the last.

[JoyDiv007]

Never cared much for this song so I'm giving it a 5.

[celibate]

a 5

another 'I get you with me lyrics' song, none of them are impressive,
so is this one

1 plus point, it's not on the european/UK albumversion of Kill Uncle

[Chad]

You are seriously mistaken! It's a charmer from first note to the last.
I love this song.

[nugz]

I really like this song. dont know why its so unpoopular. although i agree that the placement on Kill Uncle is horrible. Its about a 7, id say.

[Johan de Witt]

I like the words and the way he sings them ("Just don't say I didn't warn you...") but the music is seriously boring.

[lightupvirginmary]

You are seriously mistaken! It's a charmer from first note to the last.

the poll speaks for itself.

[Vauxhall95]

I really like this song. dont know why its so unpoopular. although i agree that the placement on Kill Uncle is horrible. Its about a 7, id say.

I didn't give it a high score, but I do see your point: I'm guessing Sweetie Pie and Black Eyed Susan scored higher, and they barely constitute songs.:confused:

[Well I Wonder]

5/10. Very average

[Zenith Nadir]

I despised this song for years. I'm still not sold on the choice of title, which comes across as 9 parts nursery rhyme, 1 part poetry. But beyond that it's a great piece of music with some clever (somewhat black?) lyrics.

[steph]

I gave it an 8. I have always liked this song. I think his vocals are beautiful on this track, and the tune is catchy. It saddens me that he called this one of the worst songs ever recorded in musical history.

[Worm]

Played it eleven times a day for the first month after the single was released and haven't listened to it more than eleven times since. I don't know why that is. Anyway, even though my heart says 10, I guess I have to look at the evidence and go with a solid 8.